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June 2016 Moms
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Boiling mad!

AmberLiz99AmberLiz99 member
in June 2016 Moms
So dh chose the day when we are all stuck inside in a blizzard together to tell me how what I do (staying home with our 4yo and 21 month old and working from home) is so "easy and fun" compared to going to work like him (regular 9-5 government job with flexible hours and occasion telework). And how he deserves to sleep all weekend and not play with the kids, help cook, or clear the 2 feet of snow because of it.
We have both been sick all week, and he has worked from home all week, resting in the evenings and sleeping in while I'm up at 5 with the kids and do all the household/kid duties. But I've "had it easy" because I have only worked 2 hours a day, not 8.

I'm aware of how stupid and pigheaded and selfish he is being by saying this. For the save of not killing him right now, and since I can't take the kids and get out of the house for a break to cool down, I'm venting to you ladies. Now I'm going to go scream into a pillow
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Re: Boiling mad!

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  • Rosehip15Rosehip15 member
    Ugh.  Let him know that I work out of the home, in part because I really don't think I could handle being home with little kids all day.  Work is my reprieve!  Any neighbors with whom you can have a snow playdate?
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  • mom2beEbbymom2beEbby member
    Such a horrible thing to say! I would go out in the snow just to leave him with the kids.
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  • Tawny87Tawny87 member
    I feel you! My hubby is an ass hat today because he went skeet shooting with his family. Normally this wouldn't be a problem but the last 4 months he has been working 100+ hr weeks and we literally never see him. I see him for about 2-4 hrs a week.
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  • june2016babyjune2016baby member
    My husband makes me do everything also. Plus he is also constantly coming home from work and "resting" in the bedroom without interacting with us much at all. Then he sleeps in at every opportunity. I know what it's like.

    However, I really don't think he should be making you/letting you shovel all that snow!

    I've spent about 2/3 of marriage working, and the other 1/3 staying home with kids-about a year after each baby. And even though I'm INSANELY busy while working (since I still need to do all the housework/laundry/cooking/kid activities/etc. plus school work,) I'd say that working outside the home is by FAR easier. Seriously. Staying at home is harder. Maybe it's not physically harder, but the days are sooooo long and it's very emotionally taxing. I would much rather work!
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  • TunieBeeTunieBee member
    Wtf. Just. No. And I love the Fitbit idea. Brilliant.




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  • mdargiemdargie member
    Sympathy for you! H is taking a nap right now because "his back hurts". He also sleeps in at every opportunity and has never once in dd's 4 years of life taken care of her so I could sleep. No one will be surprised if I end up in an episode of snapped. He's helpful around the house if I ask but he does have an attitude about it which makes me homicidal considering we both work fully time. Men are just f*cking obnoxious, bottom line. I feel for you :disappointed:
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  • aloha5736aloha5736 member
    edited January 2016
    I don't even have kids, I'm just pregnant, and if my husband had me shoveling...no way. If he doesn't make time to shovel, I told him I will hire a plow driver haha. Luckily, he is pretty good about helping out even if he works a million hours :) I've never let him slide about pitching in, especially with the outside chores. Already warned him when I go back to work and LO is up at night, we will be doing rotating shifts of getting up for feeds, the nights I work. My BIL works a million hours and his kids never listen to him or want anything to do with him, I've always told my husband you don't want that to be you, so make sure you stay involved on the weekends.
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  • laurendiaz02laurendiaz02 member
    My husband was a complete asshole the other night. I was in bed and feeling yucky and exhausted. He has the NERVE to say "well, I think if you ate healthier and exercised more you would have more energy and not be so tired". I literally couldn't believe it and responded, "you know what would make me less tired? NOT WORKING TWO $&!?@ JOBS and being pregnant asshole!?!" And instead of leaving it at that, he adds his two cents by saying "well I work just as many hours as you do so I'm also tired". I told him he was a jerk for making his pregnant wife cry and to get the hell out of the room before I stabbed him. Lol. Men should really think about what they're going to say before they open their mouths!
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  • PBear93PBear93 member
    This thread makes me incredibly grateful for my husband. Yes, there are things that drive me crazy and I would like him to be more helpful, but he does most of the dishes and the laundry and takes time every day when he gets home from work to play with our daughter, he usually gets out of bed when she gets up on the weekends, and helps put her to bed every night. I used to do a lot more but when my PPD got bad I literally had to hand our daughter off to him the second he got home from work because I just couldn't handle it anymore. During that time in our lives he really stepped up his game, and is has just become our normal.


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  • MamaNicoleof3MamaNicoleof3 member
    @TunieBee- PREACH. My husband and I share the load equally. yes, there are seasons where one of us pulls the weight more (like he picked up all the slack when I was down with morning sickness), but we go right back to normal after that season is over.

    I'm sorry for those of you who have husband's who don't pull their weight. That just sucks and something definitely needs to change.
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  • totsaboundingtotsabounding member
    CourtJack said:
    @AmberLiz99 - ugh. I hope he's preparing one EPIC apology. Sounds like this is out of the ordinary, so let's hope he gets back to being less of a wiener soon. As for some of the other husband stories here-MAN!! My H isn't a saint but we are equals and the kids and everything else for that matter, are a shared responsibility. I am not even physically capable of letting H get away with being a douchebag. I get angry when I hear stories like this.
    Yes to all of this. And also...I love that you called him a "wiener." Hee.

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  • mdargiemdargie member
    TunieBee said:
    Sympathy for you! H is taking a nap right now because "his back hurts". He also sleeps in at every opportunity and has never once in dd's 4 years of life taken care of her so I could sleep. No one will be surprised if I end up in an episode of snapped. He's helpful around the house if I ask but he does have an attitude about it which makes me homicidal considering we both work fully time. Men are just f*cking obnoxious, bottom line. I feel for you :disappointed:
    Ok I am not saying this to be an uppity asshole. But I legitimately cannot comprehend why this is acceptable to either you or him. Why would you let him get away with this bullshit? Marriage and parenthood are a partnership. I do not understand this behavior at all.
    I guess I asked for this. I did not mean to imply he acts this way 24/7. I just meant to convey sympathy and share how my H is an idiot sometimes too, like I assume they all are. No one is perfect, especially not me, and no one knows that better than the two of us. Believe me when I say that we have had lengthy conversations and arguments about these very issues, many times. He is doing better than he used to, as am I. I agree that marriage and parenthood are a partnership - they are the two most difficult partnerships we will have in our lives. That doesn't mean that it will ever be perfect, there will be days I will be upset with him, and days he is upset with me, and that doesn't mean we aren't a partnership at all. It means we're humans trying to do something extremely difficult every day.
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  • kayla2536kayla2536 member
    Holy crap. I would LOSE MY MIND if my hubby every said anything like that. I'm a FTM and I won't be a SAHM (I love my job wayyyy too much!) but I know a few and it is not something I would want to do all day everyday so props to you! But my DH was a total dickwad last night, so I can sympathize there. He was just a royal grouch ALL day and the second I started to get an attitude he has the nerve to tell me to "calm down". Not pregnant, being told to "calm down" just sets me off more and I've talked to him about that! But he can be an asshat all day to me but then tell the exhausted, pregnant lady to calm down...TWICE? Oh hell no. 
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  • peaceinnaturepeaceinnature member
    @kayla2536 It drives me nuts when my H tells me to calm down. Now he knows, so if it slips out its kind funny to see the "oh crap now she's going to get even madder" look on his face.
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  • splsmama2016splsmama2016 member
    As someone who is also married to a government employee (DH is a federal agent and also can work from home when necessary and works pretty much his own hours), I will tell you, if he ever tries to pull this with me, he's outside. Granted I'm a FTM, I still know that taking care of small children while NOT pregnant is hard enough. Your hubby is wayyyyyy out of his mind.

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