Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
sdolivares
member
Re: Exercise or not?
Personally, it don't make my pregnancy or labor any easier. I still ended up with an induction, a baby that didn't engage, and a c-section.
This time around, I haven't really been going out of my way to exercise (but then again I'm only 7 weeks), and so far I feel pretty much the same that I did at this point with DS.
I do Orange Theory Fitness 2-3 times a week and I love it. But I did it before I was pregnant. So I really don't know if it made my DS labor any easier since I don't have anything to compare it to. But I will tell you that I was cleared to work again while I was still in the hospital, and on the stairmaster 3 days after I had DS.
Talk to your doctor about adding exercise to your routine, especially this late in the game.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
I will recommend yoga especially if baby is already head down. Find a good prenatal class in your area if you're interested. It helped relieve my back and hip pain. She also taught good techniques for post delivery when nursing or feeding baby posture.
This pregnancy I had back/joint issues at 10 weeks so I've been lazier, just doing the 3/4K a day. I'm curious to see if it helps or not. A good friend who is a manager of a gym and incredibly fit had a rough delivery and pushing where her best friend joked that she was lazy and going to have a rough time giving birth because she wasn't as prepped as my super fit friend only pushed during 2 contractions.... I'm not entirely convinced it matters.
It is from BC. I don't know if there is an American equivalent, but you can google it to find the form.
Don't be stupid though. The third trimester is not the time to start something new or strenuous.
But walk as much as you can. Do a little hiking if you're able. Do squats and lunges and stretch. Get your body moving and get those muscles engaged and get that heart rate up. (A little. Again, I'm not advocating anything intense)
My labor, start to finish, was 8 hours including 90 minutes of pushing. And everyone is different, luck and genetics play a big role, but my doctor told me that my fitness level definitely contributed to the ease of my delivery and has helped with pp healing.
TTC #2: Oct 2017, BFP 12/19/17, CP 12/22/17
BFP 2/20/18 - EDD 10/31/2018
Just be smart and judge it for yourself
just start super slow, with a waddle around the block and see how it goes. Definitely don't start something crazy at this stage, but some walking at a comfortable pace and distance should be fine. If you really haven't done ANY exercise, maybe take someone with you the first few times just in case.
I only walked during both my pregnancies. I stretched more during my first, and this 2nd one I am starting to stretch again as I get more uncomfortable in the 3rd tri.
Movement and stretching are almost always a good idea. Just get your care providers ok, and start slow.
i barely exercised last time, but I've been at the gym walking and doing weights 2 or 3 times a week this time. I've definitely gained less weight (although still not in the "ideal" range," I'm currently at 39 lbs with 5 1/2 weeks to go). I definitely feel a lot better mentally, and I'll be curious to see how different recovery is this time.
Don't know if that will directly influence how long/hard labor is or how quickly I recover, but I know that I feel great and that I have only put on about 15 lbs during the pregnancy.