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Not sure where I belong (Intro, loss mentioned)

CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
in Trouble TTC

I have not been on the boards in forever, and have never posted in this specific board. So hello.

My DH and I started out NTNP two and a half years ago. After almost a year of that I had a talk with my ob/gyn. My cycles have never been regular in my life but now that we were talking about baby-making, her approach was different. Blood tests revealed that, as she put it, my hormones functioned in reverse of what they normally should. So we got serious about TTC to try to get a hold of things but she was right. None of my charts made sense and OPKs made less sense. I went to a specialist, and started talking about other options. I had not had my period in months (nothing new to me) and was about to take progesterone and Clomid when I decided to take a HPT. It was positive. Blood work would later prove it but a day later it did not matter. I suffered a CP, which the specialist said did not surprise her. But she was shocked that I got pregnant on my own. We continued for months after that trying to chart again but nothing happened. I was back to going long spans of time without AF and nothing on a chart. I was pretty bummed so we just decided to take a break. It ended up being a good decision because shortly there after, I lost my job and health insurance.

So I finally have a new job and health insurance and I am ready to get back at it. I think its been probably close to 5 months since I've had AF. I started getting cramps a week ago and I thought maybe it would show up. Nothing happened so I took a HPT after DH reminded me I had cramps like this when I got the BFP. Of course, it came back negative. So now I have cramps, no AF and a BFN.

I'm frustrated and not sure what to do. I just keep telling myself there are women out there (and on here) who have it so much worse than me. But it's getting old. I'm sick of thinking it will happen one day if I keep trying but everything tells me otherwise.

Sorry this became a rant, but thanks for reading.

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Re: Not sure where I belong (Intro, loss mentioned)

  • calfherdercalfherder member
    Hello! I'm sorry for your loss. This is a very nice group, very supportive and helpful. Good luck and best wishes to you.
    __________________________________________________________
    Married September 2004 <3
    TTC since January 2014 
    DX - MFI Antibodies, High DNA fragmentation
    IUI #1 November 2015 - 0% Motility
    IVF #1 January 2016 - (FAIL/Over-suppressed)
    IVF #2 May 2016 - (FAIL/25 eggs, 1 5BB xx, PGS abnormal)
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  • DinosaurJumperDinosaurJumper member
    I know what you mean, the continuous emotional roller coaster of TTC gets old after so long. It eventually flattens out to a low point with no "maybe this month!" anymore. I too am trying to escape that place, not only to have a baby, but for my own mental health. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you are not here too long.

    I'm new to gifs, but I have a huge arsenal of memes!
    Wish I could make human babies like I make plant babies!

    There's a gazillion of them!!
    Married to  for 3yrs w/5 furbabies :*
    TTC for 2 yrs.
    One loss at 9 wks, May 2014
    Two chemicals before TTC
    Preparing for infertility testing



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