Letting people know labour has started

jread94 · January 2016

Hi, me and my partner were just discussing when we would let family know when we go into labour. What are your opinions on this? He wants to tell everyone when labour starts but I would rather wait until the baby has arrived as I don't want him to be having to update everyone while we are at the hospital (we both have big families) what will you be doing?

clairemwalker · January 2016

Could you talk to maybe your parents (both sides) or someone else each side and have them be 'the updaters' for during labor? My side of the family is pretty respectful, so we have made it clear that we welcome txts asking for updates, but to not be offended if we dont reply and that we dont welcome
Phone calls, as they are distracting and harder to ignore. DHs side probably wont get any info until after baby is born, partly becuase they are so scattered (his parents divorced, all siblings in different cities etc etc) and also becuase they arent good at respecting boundries like my side is. During all of my sisters labors, my mum was the only one who asked for updates, and we would all just periodicly txt her and ask for news. And we never would have dreamed of just 'turning up' to the hospital without an invite DHs family is the opposite of that unfortunately. I would just state your boundaries, maybe make it clear that if you get too many phone calls you will turn off your phone? Family can be complicated but im sure there is a way you can meet in the middle with DH to keep you both happy, good luck!

kyraaD · January 2016

I'm going to be calling my mom & my SO will be letting his mother know as soon as labour starts. I'm also gunna shoot a text off to my best friend that it has started, but other than that i dont plan on telling anyone else about anything until baby has arrived. if our mothers would like to let people know, fine by me. but I'm not going to personally do it until after delivery.

emjeve · January 2016

With our first, we let our parents know when we were on our way to the hospital (both our families live out of state so we weren't worried about anyone showing up). We didn't tell anyone else until after DD was born. I didn't want a bunch of texts/calls etc. I actually turned my phone off and DH was in charge of updating everyone. Our siblings got updates from our parents so we weren't bombarded with texts from our immediate family either.

This time, we will be letting my mom know when labor starts because she is driving out to take care of DD while we are in the hospital and it takes about 6 hours for her to get here!

MississippiCatfish · January 2016

We told whoever we wanted to tell, "Angies in labor, we're headed to the hospital, things are going well, we'll update you when there's any news" and then didn't look at our phones. (Actually, that's a lie. I like to be left alone while I'm in labor, so I'm pretty sure DH played on his phone for a few hours while I hung out in the tub.) there's no reason you need to have your phones volume on - mine will actually be on airplane mode because I use it with headphones during labor but don't want to hear the beeps.

dramaphile · January 2016

ejverre said:
With our first, we let our parents know when we were on our way to the hospital (both our families live out of state so we weren't worried about anyone showing up). We didn't tell anyone else until after DD was born. I didn't want a bunch of texts/calls etc. I actually turned my phone off and DH was in charge of updating everyone. Our siblings got updates from our parents so we weren't bombarded with texts from our immediate family either.

This time, we will be letting my mom know when labor starts because she is driving out to take care of DD while we are in the hospital and it takes about 6 hours for her to get here!

We did the same, called his parents and texted my sister (she's the family grapevine, she notified my parents and brother), and my best friend when we were heading to the birth center, and let them know we'd update when there was news. My labor was pretty intense by morning, so we didn't update anyone until after the birth. After she was born, we enjoyed our magic hour and then called our families to let them know she was here.

cMichelle0423 · January 2016

With my last pregnancy, we didn't tell anyone u til baby was born and it created a lot of drama for us. Well with some of my in-laws. This pregnancy, we'll let people know, but they aren't welcome to be around for anything until we say so.

Jessie42613 · January 2016

Close family were informed when I was admitted to the hospital, and then another text when the baby was here.

PrimRoseMama · January 2016

jread94 said:

Hi, me and my partner were just discussing when we would let family know when we go into labour. What are your opinions on this? He wants to tell everyone when labour starts but I would rather wait until the baby has arrived as I don't want him to be having to update everyone while we are at the hospital (we both have big families) what will you be doing?

I prefer to wait until the baby is here, BUT my sainted husband totally forgot about that preference last time. With DD she came so fast that we had no real option but to tell folks after she was here. I preferred that, to be honest. Next time I will ask my husband (and hope he remembers) to wait until I'm pushing to say much of anything to anyone.

mrscammack · January 2016

We plan on calling/texting our parents to let them know we are heading to the hospital and depending on how labour goes DH might text the occasional update to our parents but we've already told them we don't want them at the hospital waiting. Then DH will make the baby is here phone call to our families after we have the skin to skin/dedicated bonding time our hospital allows for the first hour after birth. We'll have our phones off and no calls, texts or visitors during this time - once we've had that bonding time just the three of us and are moved to the mother baby unit we'll let everyone know she's here.

JMarie1291 · January 2016

We will be notifying both moms when we are admitted to the hospital..... We both are very close with our moms and dads aren't in the picture (1 deceased and 1 incarcerated) this will be the 1st grandbaby so with the tough past few years for us and our families we decided we want our moms with us if labor goes as planned. Once I start pushing they go to waiting room.... And wont be allowed back till after our hour alone and I'm noved into the other room. They will be doing the updates for everyone else in our families as well. We both come from families with lots of siblings. Alot of people our against others in delivery room besides SO.... but I see nothing wrong with my mom and his with us since (until pushing time) we are all really close.... Plus both moms are great and will not be in the way or take it personally when i want them out of the room. They just want to be close by just incase we need them.

goldie987 · January 2016

We'll be telling my mom as of now (unless we find better arrangements for someone to watch the dog) but otherwise, we won't be telling anyone until the baby is born and we're ready for people to start bombarding us with calls/texts/requests for pictures. Family lives 4-6 hours away so that also gives us a solid chunk of time to ourselves and potentially will convince people to not come to the hospital and just wait until we're home like I want. A girl can dream, right?

PedsIsHardcore · January 2016

We are calling one person who we want with us in L&D (my extended family mom) and that's it! No one else needs to know anything until SO or I decide to tell people. It's our baby and I do not care if people get upset. They are not my childs parents and tough!

ivyvines6 · January 2016

I'm not planning on telling anyone until LO is here and in my arms, and even then it will be a "here's a picture, don't visit the hospital" type of ordeal. I have the feeling that if we tell people "we're heading to the hospital" it would cause a lot of grief for me... What if it's false labor? What if people just show up and want to see you during? No thank you!

arcanejinx · January 2016

My mother lives in another country and as she put it "will have a 24 hour turn around time to get to you", so we will tell her right away. We live with my father so he will know but he won't tell anyone. MiL lives about 3 hours away and I'm sure DH will tell her but she is respectful and will probably just hang out with my father. My mother will be in charge of her relatives-and she won't say anything until the baby has arrived as her mother will worry the whole time.

As for friends I'll let my best friend know since she's a nurse in the hospital I will be giving birth in (used to be in the birth Center but now in the NiCU). Everyone else will find out probably once we go home-I'm
not one for visitors and everyone knows that.

GinnyJ2012 · January 2016

My MIL will come stay with us close to my due date because she's going to watch my older two when I'm in labor. I'll call my mom on the way to the hospital and then we will update her as needed. I'll text my siblings and SIL, and best friend. Other than that I'll let people know after she's here. This is what we did last time and it worked well.

When I was pregnant with my first I called my mom after I was admitted because she had a 5 hour drive, and was coming out to help with household chores and with the baby. We did invite her to the hospital while I was in labor. DH needed a break for food, and I was napping after my epidural. She waited in the waiting room while I was pushing and any time I was checked.

shelbibrooke82 · January 2016

We will just do what we did the #1 and just tell parents and they can spread word and update everyone else! My sister will be in the room with us so she can update them....easy for us!

fourtsixand2 · January 2016

I can only assume what will happen, but we will text/call immediate family upon admission to the hospital.
Close friends will likely get a text and photo after delivery once we've had a chance to bond and settle down.
I'm sure my husband will update other family and friends via Facebook as time allows.

surferP528 · January 2016

My parents and in-laws live 10+ hours away, so we'll be notifying them after baby is born with a phone call or a video call to see the baby. Like other posters have said, I don't want to feel like people are waiting on me, or to be bothered with constant questions and updates. I also don't want people to be worried if it takes a while and they haven't heard anything since they're too far away to do anything.

kqualls5 · January 2016

I'm dumb and from the get go told my family and close friends I didn't care who was in the hospital room. And now that I have my induction scheduled, I regret that. So I shot everyone a text yesterday explaining how I wanted to keep everyone happy but as the big day approaches I decided I don't want anyone at the hospital until they've received a text from SO or my mom.

My dad, FIL, and siblings will be called once I'm actively pushing so they can head to the hospital, and they'll get to come in as soon as he's here. Then once I've been cleaned up and our families have met baby B, it'll be a free for all.

jenniferamcooper · January 2016

@kqualls5 good call telling people to wait. Not sure what type of induction you're having but I my induction plan was cervadil gel followed by pictocin was the cervix was "riper" and was told the process could take days.
In the end I had fetal distress and had an emergency c section. I'm glad we didn't let anyone know otherwise there would have been a lot of family anxiety in the 2 hours of fetal monitoring before they did a section. I didn't even get a 2nd application of the cervadil but I was quite ovedue, so my scenario wasn't too abnormal. I'm sure yours will be great but waiting to tell people can cause a lot less stress all around.

delujm0 · January 2016

We called parents and siblings and my best friend when I got admitted to the hospital. This is an important distinction...I was at the hospital for 2 hours before getting admitted (long story short, the triage nurses were the worst). We called around 5pm and DD was born just before midnight.

Everyone we called lives at least an 8 hour drive away so we figured we'd still get alone time with the baby before anyone arrived. I was 6cm when we called, and DHs parents arrived about 2 hours after the birth. Everyone else waited until we were home to come visit.

I was SUPER annoyed at my mom though...she called like 4 times to check in. I love her and I know she was excited but I didn't want to deal with that. My dad called once from an international vacation to check in. We texted him otherwise.

I'm sure next time will be different as someone, probably my in laws, will be in town early to watch DD while we're at the hospital. But it went pretty well.

kqualls5 · January 2016

@jenniferamcooper oh no! See I'm so scared about having to get a c section. They're so intense to me and just a very scary thought. My induction plan is a little mysterious to me. My OB didn't explain well, and I'm not good at asking questions until after I've left the doctor. I'll be checking in at 7 am Saturday. and given something to ripen the cervix. Then she said something about possibly having to break my water if it doesn't go on its own, and then starting pitocin if need be. But she said to expect to deliver on Sunday.

ammnam14 · January 2016

With DD both sides of our families were at the hospital before I got admitted. Only my mom and DH were allowed to be in triage with me one at a time. I didn't see everyone else until I was comfy after the epidural. In the end it is your choice. I was annoyed with DH in triage because he was on his phone updating everyone while I was in pain. Once everyone was there I was able to love him again. Haha just something to think about.

jenniferamcooper · January 2016

@kqualls5 don't worry! My situation was probably a lot different. I was over 41 weeks and 0cm dialated. I knew going into the induction that where I was not yet "favourable" for delivery that this could happen.

RissKay · January 2016

I'll call and tell my mom so she can start her trip down to us. Then, I'll call our childcare person to come watch DS1. After that, I'll honestly txt my sisters and closest friends that we're going in. At that point, depending on what's going on, I'll post to Facebook cause that's just how we are. (We're internet people...lol) But, I won't feel the need or pressure to update anyone on anything (aside from being available to answer questions about DS1 to childcare) because eff it I'm having a baby and things are crazy.

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