LO refuses to sleep in bassinet/crib

MissMheMhe · January 2016

Any advise on how to get my LO acclimated with his crib/bassinet? He's 2 weeks old and has only gone about 30 minutes before waking up in either spot. He spends his nights with me either on the couch or in our bed, but I don't want to get into a habit of co-sleeping. I've been trying naps during the day in his crib, swaddled, half swaddled, no swaddle, but he isn't having it. DH says we need to just let him cry it out, but this guy is stubborn and I can't take more than about 15-20 minutes of him crying, and escalating to wailing, before picking him up. Do I need to toughen up and let him be a little longer? Or is this something that he'll just get over, maybe once he's able to roll over??
Anyone in the same boat or have some words of wisdom?

trixie429 · January 2016

Why don't you want to get into the habit of cosleeping? The baby is probably trying to tell you that he is lonely and wants to be close to you. There is some great info about cosleeping safely in the la leche league book and prob on their website. Couch is not safe but your bed with a guardrail, or a cosleeper attachment can be. We have something called a "snuggle nest" I got off amazon--a little bed that sits on my mattress so baby can sleep next to me. I recommend it!

MeghaJake · January 2016

From what I have read, cry it out is not recommended and does not work for the first three to four months. I have had this problem with both of my previous kids and we have used swaddles, bed time routines including massage, white noise machines, swings, rock n play, pacifiers, co-sleeping on recliners and in bed. You can try those things and see if they help. There are a lot books on baby sleep. For us unfortunately we have just had to wait it out until the baby was old enough for sleep training.

MissMheMhe · January 2016

@trixie429, I have never believed that cosleeping is something that I was comfortable with, but you are correct, LO could be telling he is and that it's what he wants. My husband is adamantly against it, however. When we are in the bed, DH chooses to spend his night on the recliner. I will look into a snuggle nest. Thanks!
@meghajake, I'll look for a couple books for both of us to read. I have a feeling my MIL is feeding DH his info, so he can definitely use somethng more up to date!

BabySeaTurtles · January 2016

**lurker from Feb16**
@MissMheMhe - I sent you a PM

mamakculb · January 2016

Do you have the bassinet close to your bed? Sometimes I would push it up right next to the bed with my arm dangling inside so he would know I was right there. Other times he just slept in bed with me. I have an arms reach co sleeper this time which is basically the same thing. I was like you, I really didn't want to co sleep, it's not for us. I did have ds in and out of my bed the first 6 months or so until he wasn't nursing during the night anymore. That's when we sleep trained with the progressive waiting approach, which most people incorrectly call crying it out. I suggest doing what works best for now, sleeping with baby safely or having a cosleeper/bassinet as close to you as possible. A swing helps too. When baby is able to soothe more independently you can worry about sleep training. Definitely read several books on different methods. A lot of people assume a certain technique means one thing when they may be totally wrong.

Mommyduclos · January 2016

My babies are all snuggle- holics and hate to be put down. I thought I wouldn't co sleep before having babies, but oh boy do I do it now and I love it! I tried to get my first in his crib from the get-go and he did ok but eventually wound up in bed with me probably 59% of the time. I trained him to sleep in his bed at about 9 months and he stayed there until he moved to a toddler bed and then he started coming back to snuggle with mama in the middle of the night and it didn't bother me a bit, now though he has to go to dad's side to keep separation from the new baby. Number 2 I co slept from the get go and it was amazing how much more rested I felt. I night weaned/ crib trained her at 18 months. It took a few weeks but she does great now and I'm sure will stay that way until toddler bed time lol. I once again gave a mild effort to put this baby in his crib but it was a no go and after a couple of hours of fighting I brought him to my bed. Mama sleeps better, baby sleeps better, nursing goes better- it works for us. If you choose to co sleep though please research the safety tips and do not do it on the couch! Most, if not all, co sleeping accidents are from "oops I fell asleep moments" or parents practicing unsafe methods, not with parents who consciously and safely co sleep.

Mommyduclos · January 2016

Don't believe the "you'll be stuck forever" stories though also don't believe that even if you don't cosleep now your babies won't really want to one day. You can fight it, but newborns have a very strong need to be near mom and there's no reasoning or understanding to them of why they can't be so if that need in your baby is strong, you likely won't win.

maureenmce · January 2016

Have you tried a white noise machine? White noise can mimic the comforting womb sounds, and there are even some machines that have the option of a heartbeat type sound too. Good luck!

claireloSC · January 2016

Maybe a sidecar co-sleeper would work? That's what we have (although my baby hasn't been born yet). DW built ours for like $20. Here are some plans for one if you're handy like that: https://www.instructables.com/id/Make-a-Sidecar-Cosleeper-in-2-hours-with-standard-/

JandJ62914 · January 2016

I had this problem two the first two nights at home with my DD! I got a halo sleep sack and some pacifiers and it's made a world of difference. I was hesitant to introduce a pacifier this soon since I was told to wait 3-4 weeks if you're breastfeeding, but the pediatrician said bc DD is a strong nurser so to go for it. We went from her screaming the second she was put down to sleeping in the bassinet all night and only waking every 2-3 hours to feed.

SummerOH · January 2016

My older 2 both bedshared (co-sleeping is in the same room, bedsharing is what you are doing). I didn't want to, not because I was worried about safety because I followed the guidelines and then some, but because I wanted some baby-free time! But it's the only way any of us got any sleep. They transitioned pretty easily to their cribs at 6 and 9 months. 2 weeks is way too young to CIO.

This time I'm trying Halo sleep sacks and the Rock N Play. Fingers crossed.

allisonpaigeguthrie · January 2016

My newborn is the same way. Hates sleeping in the bassinet. Luckily we have this vibrating bouncy chair and he slept for almost 3 hrs in it. He loves it! Maybe try putting baby in something like that.

danasphillips · January 2016

Totally normal. Please please please do NOT let a two week old cry it out. Hang in there, keep trying the bassinette during the day and know that it will pass.

hvwitham · January 2016

Some of them just really need to snuggle. My first slept anywhere, my second would not sleep anywhere but in my armpit for the first two years of life, and I'm not exaggerating. He was also super clingy to me (just me) and painfully shy until just recently. He sleeps fine in his own bed now at 3, and he is now blossoming before my eyes, making friends, playing independently, etc. So I think they do come around, even if you do nothing. You can try to change things, but if it's not working, don't beat yourself up. I firmly believe they are born with a personality that you just have to roll with. Also two weeks is super young. They change constantly that first year.

Do whatever gets you all the most sleep, and don't worry.

nickilynn0516 · January 2016

lay a down a shirt that you have been wearing all day flat. and put babies head on it. He will smell you and think you are near.

ainverso · January 2016

Is baby having reflux issues or anything that is making laying flat in bassinet painful? My first son this was the issue and I elevated the head of the bassinet and he was fine. Just a thought.

EmmyMommy123 · January 2016

I agree with @nickilynn0516 about having something that smells like you in the bassinet. I've also heard the suggestion to put a heating pad in the bassinet while you're feeding and take it out and lay baby down on the warm bassinet after (we considered this as we noticed our guy was very sensitive to temp the first couple days but other solutions worked better for us).

I've found for my guy that he has to be in a pretty deep milk drunk sleep before he'll let us put him down (he wouldn't let us the first few days but now will sleep 1-3.5 hours depending on how long I've been able to keep him awake to nurse). I was putting him down after a feed and a few rocks based on the principle of putting babies down drowsy but not asleep, but he would be awake within minutes of putting him down and acting like he was starving when I'd just fed him. My DH was having way better luck putting him down, and we discussed it was because he was waiting way longer to put him down. Also we tried a few different swaddling techniques before we found one that worked for baby and us.

My routine now is feed on one boob and do everything to wake him enough to feed on the other boob, including un swaddling, changing, laying him down when he's clearly not ready...even if it takes an hour from start to finish I find if he eats from both sides he sleeps 2+ hours in the bassinet after 10 minutes of rocking vs one side he'll barely sleep an hour.

Best of luck, but definitely don't cry it out. So hard on both you and baby!!!

mrhargr · January 2016

When this LO refused to sleep in her bassinet we went out and bought a rock n play. Huge lifesaver.

stephanienjer · January 2016

We've not had much success with our crib, either, but I suspect she might be getting a little cold, since it is near a window. Until we figure out how to move her away from the window, she's been sleeping in the Fisher Price Infant to Toddler Rocker right next to me. Our bed sits really low, so all I have to do is reach out to touch her. I've changed my mind on cosleeping, as when I've done it, my milk production is better, but my husband takes some pretty strong medications, and I'm afraid to have her between us. This is the best option for us right now. Also, I can leave her undressed, and lay a blanket across the bottom half of the rocker without worrying about it working up around her face.

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