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January 2016 Moms
Karenin
member
Anyone else freaking out?
Karenin
member
This happens to me every time. Right at the end of pregnancy, my anxiety ramps up and I start to freak out about actually having a baby. Like, what am I doing? How will this work? My life is about to be insane! I'm someone who freaks out over all life changes, and considering we moved states at 20 weeks and I started a new job at 34 weeks, it makes sense that I'm overwhelmed, but still, it sucks to be physically uncomfortable and insanely anxious all at once. The anxiety always goes away once my LOs arrive. I guess I'm just seeing if anyone can relate because having panic attacks is not the kind of thing you talk about with people when discussing an impending baby's arrival.
Re: Anyone else freaking out?
Also, I've been awakened in the middle of the night with fears about my ability to breastfeed, how I'm going to get by on so little sleep, how I'm going to be alone with the baby after just 2 weeks of having my husband around, how I'm afraid I'm going to go insane with 6 months of maternity leave, worries about finances because of the 6 months of maternity leave, afraid I won't lose the baby weight, ever, and that I won't ever feel as happy and healthy as I felt before the baby, that my husband and I won't ever have the same fun adventures as we did before the baby, etc. And with all of these fears and worries, this is also a very, very much wanted pregnancy and I already adore the baby so much!
So, I think it's just (hopefully) normal fears, your brain prepping for a major change, and we'll all be fine in the end! (At least that's what I'm telling myself at 4am.) Hang in there!
After Michael arrived (11 days ago now) all of my worries literally went away.
Today at my appointment DH started crying when we were talking about things. They weren't sad tears, just an abundance of emotions. It's crazy how much emotion we all have these last few weeks.
THANK you all so much for posting. It makes me feel SO much better that I'm not the only one who goes a little nuts right before the end. I'm a third time mom so it's not like this is my first time, it's just that this is how I get about anything major happening and it's hard because being at the end of pregnancy people are just all excited and wanting to be happy for you and that's wonderful and kind, but it leaves no room for the scary feelings. I know I'll feel fine once she's here, it's just the nighttime freakouts can be really powerful.
But, just the fact that you're considering the gravity of all of this probably means you're head is on fairly straight.
Add hormones, sleepless nights, impending delivery, and you've got a pretty good recipe for some intense anxiety. Let it in, listen to it, and let it go.
My first came 3 weeks early (like a PP earlier said) and I had placenta previa for the entire pregnancy until 36 weeks so I had mentally prepared for a c/s. So when I found out it moved I was like, oh no biggie, I have a few weeks to mentally prepare for a vaginal, NOPE, he came the next week with little notice. It was an awful labor and I had a lot of weird things happen after that.
My first took 5 years to have (see history below) so when we started TTC for this one, when DS was only 6 months old I thought we'd have years. NOPE got ktfu right away and was totally fine mentally until the past two weeks and am having anxiety issues now. About the birth itself, about how I'm going to manage a 15 month old and a newborn, I'm losing my job, just a ton going on. I've been having mini panic attacks throughout the day. I'm just scared and am getting so tired and huge (due Feb 18th) and in some ways want her to come now and in others I'm like stay the F in there baby!
Sorry long post, but this is a huge relief to see I'm not alone.
BFP #1 05/16/10 EDD 01/13/11 natural m/c 11w1d (unknown cause)
BFP #2 03/24/11 EDD 12/06/11 missed m/c D&C 10w (Triploidy xxx)
BFP #3 12/24/11 EDD 09/02/12 missed m/c D&C 10w4d (Triploidy xxx)
BFP #4 02/10/14 EDD 10/19/14 - Baby boy made his arrival 10/02/14!
BFP #5 05/08/15 EDD 01/19/16 C/P 05/14/15
BFP #6 06/05/15 EDD 02/18/16 *It's a GIRL!!*
My Blog My Chart
FTM here, starting to get really anxious but at a little over 40 weeks I keep swinging wildly from "I can't do this" to omg "I am so ready for this." It's been something of a panic roller coaster around here. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
This is baby 4. I have kids in school. I have to wake up and get them off to school and how is this going to work with a newborn? What if my kids have a hard time adjusting?
This will also be vba2c number 2. And what if it goes bad? What if he's too big? What if I need an emergency c-section?
What if I get ppd? My anxiety is sky high.
I'm so ready. But I am no where near ready.
By the way this is my internal monologue for the past week. Everyone around me seems so calm.
This having a baby nonsense is beyond anxiety producing! Not to mention that the end of pregnancy is far more uncomfortable than I was expecting. Ugh! Almost there. I'm just so type A and so ready for the day to be here so I can stop freaking out!!!
ETA: my lease also ends 4 days after my DS will be here so moving with a baby that isn't even a week old is also stressing me super bad. Nursery isn't even set up...
I think it is totally normal to freak out a little...or so I tell myself ;-)
But it REALLY hit me during delivery.. I freaked out. Seriously freaked out - I almost punched SO because he was trying to calm me down and I didn't appreciate that ( I ended up grabbing his shirt at the neck and said "don't speak to me like that" he was calmly talking to me lol)
I was just in freak out mode... Then they put him on my chest and everything was better.
I still have my anxious moments and the " I can't do this" moments but, I'm so in love with my son that it all goes away.
With that, I am starting to get anxious about returning to work. So much so, that I am cutting my maternity leave short by 3 weeks just so I can go back for 2 days and then have the following week off. (School teacher here and we get a winter break in Feb. for a week). LO came 6 weeks early, so my original plan for time off did not pan out accordingly, which is fine. I can't imagine him not being in our lives right now. I need the 2 days to get my "feet wet" so I can prepare myself for what it's going to be like, when I have to go back Monday-Friday.
Oh the anxiety! The crazy nightmares have begun for me.
First it was nightmares about people trying to hurt or take my kids and me destroying them in terrible ways (very violent and extremely out of character for me).
Then, it was nightmares about my kids accidentally getting severely injured or killed in my care while I watched and couldn't do anything to stop it.
Now, it's nightmares about terrible labor situations. Last night, I dreamt that I was shoulder-to-shoulder in a small crowded NYC elevator (I live no where near the city) and I went into labor just as the elevator got stuck.
Knowing others are just as freaked out as me is comforting. I realized today that my anxiety is coming from the fact that I can't just "mind over matter this and make it happen". I have anxiety even when not pregnant, but usually after a good freak out I can just "decide" on an outcome and work at it until it is so. Babies don't work like that, I can't decide when he will be born, or decide that I won't need a c section. It's all out of my hands, and for a total type a control freak that struggles with anxiety... It's terrifying!
I love that this board exists so we can commiserate and self soothe with other's similar feelings!
Anyone had their babies and feeling better about things yet? I think those stories could help us anxious mamas too!