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September 2016 Moms
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Advice!

-lc--lc- member
in September 2016 Moms
Hello ladies! 
Ok here is my story: When I graduated college I was dating a guy for several years. He mentioned marriage once and next thing you know we were engaged. Throughout the whole engagement and wedding planning process he was uninvolved and had a horrible attitude toward the marriage (I basically felt like I pushed him into it). We got married in May of 2015. At the end of July 2015, I found out he was lying to me and cheating on me for our entire relationship. I asked for an annulment and he refused it and filed for divorce in august. The divorce just became final today and we have been separated since august. 
During my divorce I met someone and we are crazy about each other. We moved in together soon after we met (partly because I needed a place to stay quickly). Well we have been together now for 6 months (since I left my exhusband) and I am not pregnant. 

My family is completely opposed to keeping the baby. I'm 7 weeks along tomorrow. 

My boyfriend has wanted to marry me since he met me and still does. 

Thoughts? I'm scared to get married again, but I also want my baby to be in a loving family household with married parents.

PLEASE NOT JUDGEMENT JUST ADVICE!!!!
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Re: Advice!

  • backoffunicornbackoffunicorn member
    I think these are tough decisions that only you can make. I wouldn't stress about the whole not married with a baby thing though. It's not a biggie in today's society.
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  • AlyeenaAlyeena member
    Whatever you decide don't let others influence your decision. That should be something you decide with your boyfriend.

    If you are scared why not wait? You can get engaged and just have a long engagement see if that works out? I am curious tho... Why do you say that you want you baby to grow up with married parents? Is not a loving family enough for now? 
    35 years old, TTC #1 Dec 28, 2011
    PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
    First IVF cycle June 5th 2015 --- BFP
    Miscarriage at 8 weeks
    FET December 15th 2015--- BFP!
    First saw  at 6w4d
    It's a boy!
    Luciano Alessandro Maximiliano was born on September 3rd 2016

       



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  • noelani42noelani42 member
    I agree that you have to make this decision on your own. I faced something similar when I got pregnant with my boyfriend of 4 months (he's now my husband). I saw a counselor and she helped me come to the realization that I wanted to keep the baby...unfortunately we lost that one to a miscarriage, but the counseling really helped me so my advice is to seek out counseling from a family therapist specializing in women and try to keep the outside voices out...good luck
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  • lovelylauren86lovelylauren86 member
    Don't let one douche canoe ruin your dreams of marriage and family! I was in a very similar situation with my ex husband (with out the pregnancy) moved in with my new BF and were married 2 years later. Don't lose hope
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  • 618mom22boys618mom22boys member
    If you are unsure do a long engagement.  

    I was 18 when I had my 1st, thank god I didnt marry him!  Met my now husband at 21.  We had out 1st baby 5 years later and got married the next year. We are now on baby #3 together.   

    Honestly being married makes no difference on how you raise your child together.  
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    DS1 12-31-1999, DS2 5-7-2008, DS3 8-3-2010
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  • KarenBeth714KarenBeth714 member
    I agree with other who have said this is your decision to make. Don't make your decision based on what others say you should do or based on how you thought things would have give in life. If you decide to have the baby and get married now, after or even never... If you are both ready to be living parents you wil be ok. Your family hopefully will get over themselves and be happy for you once they see how happy you are. Explain your feeling directly to them plain and simple. I wish you luck in whatever you decide!!
    Me:35, DH 37  ~ Married July 2014
    ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp)
    bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease)
    ttcal May 2016
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