Toddlers: 24 Months+

MIL and kids schedules

Generally speaking, my inlaws are great.  Super nice and try very hard.  My MIL watches our 2 kids one day/week (my H and I both work full time and have a nanny for the other 4 days).  I have gone over the kids schedules with my MIL on many occasions -- in person, in email, in notes at the house as reminders, through our nanny, etc.  I have explained how keeping them on a regular schedule (eating, sleeping, etc) really helps them, but without fail every time I get home and asked how the day went, she'll tell me how great it was and then explain how the 2 year old didn't take a nap and that the 6 month only slept for 30 minutes and only had 2 bottles (usually would have 4) as if it were totally normal.  I know that she wants to have "fun" with her grandkids, but it makes for cranky kids (and cranky mom too).  I tried to approach her about it and she always says OK, but the next week, it is the same story.  I don't think every once and awhile its bad for the kids schedules to be off but every week is wearing on me/aggravating.  I don't have to have her watch the kids, but I want the kids to spend time with their grandma.  Anyone out there deal with a similar situation and have any advice?

Re: MIL and kids schedules

  • My mom does the same thing when she has my kids 2 days a week but I don't stress it one bit. First off I know that she tries to get my kids to nap but that doesn't always work at her house. She can't control how long of a nap my 15 month old takes and I honestly feel bad if the kids don't nap for her and are crabby towards her during the day. Are you sure she's keeping them up just so she can play with them or maybe she struggles to get them to sleep?

    I'm not sure how it is with your MIL but with my mom, she doesn't put her foot down enough and the kids tend to walk all over her (in an innocent way! lol). She let's them get away with a lot more than DH and I do but hey, that's how grandma's are.

    To me, the benefits of having my mom watch the kids totally outweighs the negatives and if I have a cranky kid in the evening up until bedtime then oh well.

  • ^^what she said.
    Married DH 08.28.10
    Pregnancy #1: BFP 04.10.11 EDD 12.23.11 DD1 Born 12.4.11
     Pregnancy #2: BFP 5.12.14 MC 5.20.14 @ 5wk4d
    Pregnancy #3: BFP 11.1.14 EDD 7.5.15 MC 11.13.14 @ 6wk4d
    Pregnancy #4: BFP 1.31.15 EDD 10.5.15 DD2 Born 9.23.15
     
  • Loading the player...
  • If you've already tried communicating this in every way imaginable, and she's just refusing to comply, then I think you have to choose to either accept the babysitting on her terms, or have your nanny take over that fifth day. It sounds like your MIL wants more of that traditional "grammy spoils the grandkids" relationship, so maybe you'd be better off to find other times to socialize with her where there's less potential to derail your parenting. Invite her over for dinner on Saturday night, or see if she wants to meet up at a play cafe on a Sunday afternoon, etc.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"