Hi, there. I've been lurking here on the bump and I am brand new to posting, but I thought I'd give it a shot.
So I'm 29 years old and been married 1 1/2 years. My DH and I began TTC back in August and got a BFP our first month trying. We were SO excited. Shortly after our first OB appointment at the end of September, we found out that my progesterone levels were extrememly low, putting us in the high risk category for miscarriage. I was devastated. I tried at that point to prepare myself for possible impending loss. My DH was extremely upset with me, and told me I was being too negative and that I shouldn't worry. We had our ultrasound 2 days later and we had a healthy heart beat-- I let myself get hopeful and excited. I was started on progesterone, and was feeling positive. 1 week later, I discovered I was spotting a little bit. I called my OB right away and they sent me for an ultrasound. When we got there, and the ultrasound tech insisted on getting the radiologist, I knew something was wrong. She came and told us there was no longer a heartbeat. I lost it. DH was also crying-- something I had only seen him do when his father passed. After discussing with my OB, we decided to see if the miscarriage would happen naturally. After a few days, nothing had happened so she prescribed Misoprostol. I had really heavy bleeding and ended up in the ER. While I was there, they had to remove tissue that was stuck by hand. It was most awful physical pain I have ever experienced.
Now DH and I are TTC again, this past month was the first time trying. I let myself get excited because I thought AF was late-- turns out my cycle decided to go long (8 days later than normal) this month. AF arrived yesterday morning-- about 5 minutes after seeing a coworker's facebook announcement of her second pregnancy (her first child is 6 months old). I don't begrudge her this baby-- but I can't help myself from feeling incredibly jealous. I spent the whole day crying and feeling like a total jerk!
As anxious as I am to become pregnant again, I'm equally anxious about being pregnant again. I worry that my next one will end suddenly and sadly. I don't know how to move on and get positive. I also find myself being incredibly pissed off at DH for continually telling me to stop being negative. I want to scream at him "something awful happened-- how the hell am I supposed to feel"!? Any one else struggling with this?
Re: Introduction **warning loss mentioned)
Of course you will worry and want to do everything you can to make this a healthy pregnancy but the best advice I can offer is to slowly come to the realization that once you have had intercourse, there is not a lot you can do. I don't mean that living healthy and taking vitamins won't be good for the baby, just that what goes on with the cells and makeup of your baby is mostly out of your control.
Look forward to being pregnant and be so grateful and happy every day you are! As long as that sweet LO is in your belly, he/she is your baby and you are doing everything you can to give them the best chance at life. You can do it!
You make a good point- once the deed is done, there isn't anything I can except wait and see. I will do my best to look forward to being pregnant, regardless of the potential outcome. Thank you
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017