Grieving & Stress during pregnancy.

KaylaShiann · January 2016

Hi beautiful mommas, My names Kayla & I am a FTM currently 5 months pregnant. My father died Saturday in a motorcycle accident & I cannot keep from worrying of the grieving & stress of his passing with hurt my baby boy. Has anyone that has had a close family member or family member in general pass while still pregnant. If you were how did you cope & try to stay calm for the baby. Everyone telling me I can't be too upset but not telling me how. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance!

evalynn24 · January 2016

I don't have any advice, but I wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss and I will be praying for you and your family.

mello13 · January 2016

Yes, a very close family member died in December, two days before Christmas. It's been difficult, to say the least. I've struggled with anxiety much more with this pregnancy in general, but it obviously increased.

My best advice is to be honest about everything you're feeling. Talk to your partner and especially your doctor. Call the OB and let them know what you are feeling and facing, they will help! Also, don't be afraid to grieve. Trying to force yourself not to feel it will only compound the problem. Talk with family and friends. Take time for yourself as needed, and don't feel guilty about it. A walk, a bath, a milkshake, whatever helps you find a bit of peace. If you are of faith then seek support in your house of worship, and pray often. If you feel at any point you are unwell get help immediately. There is no shame in doing what is best for you and your baby, ever.

I am sorry for your loss.

BuzzBee614 · January 2016

I do not have any advice but I also want to offer my condolences and prayers.

I see that you are new here and hope you continue to post. This is a community of caring and kind women whom can offer you support as you go through this process. I know when I am stressed out or upset reading these posts can make me laugh or really feel like I belong.

@mello13 gave wonderful advice.

camillaandcarson · January 2016

I am so very sorry

jessiedee13 · January 2016

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Everything @mello13 said is great advice. My grandfather passed away unexpectedly from a fall in November. Find someone you can talk to and grieve. You have to grieve. Otherwise the grief just builds up and becomes more of a stress. Definitely let your OB know how you're feeling. Mine is still checking on me to make sure I'm doing ok. Find a happy place. For me, I dug out all the little wooden toys my grandpa made me and gave them to the kids. They have a blast with them and it makes me happy to see part of him around my house. I talk to my husband as well as one of my aunts and I let myself cry when I need to. It really does help.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Prayers your way.

vinerie · January 2016

@KaylaShiann I'm very sorry for your loss.

AnastasiaBeaverhausen09 · January 2016

I am so sorry for your loss. I would encourage you to speak to your doctor and partner as well as a therapist. I have not had a family member pass during my pregnancy, but my mom has been diagnosed with dementia. I've been working with a therapist who has been very helpful.

balamama · January 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss. I 100% agree with @mello13's advice as well. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you but I think you have to acknowledge your feelings and grieve so you aren't bottling everything up. I haven't gone through what you're going through, but so far in this pregnancy my stepfather had to be placed in a care facility for those with dementia and my father had emergency heart surgery... just the anxiety from those two events has been extremely difficult and I'm sure are nothing compared with your grief and anxiety. Hang in there, lean on family, friends, and your doctors, and of course the women on the bump.

Charissadeats · January 2016

So very sorry for your loss. My father in law passed away at the start of my pregnancy. It was/is still a very stressful time in our family (problems with money on in-laws side and the will) and I can only imagine what you must be going through with your own dad.

Take care of yourself and don't take on too much on your plate. Lean on as many people as you can - and don't feel bad about it. Take as much time off (if you work) as what you need.

Take it one day at a time. Things will feel a bit lighter after the funeral - until then, just make sure you don't get too involved with the organising.

Hugs to you and your family.

pantherkiss0586 · January 2016

I am so very sorry for your loss. My mother is battling brain cancer and may not survive to meet my daughter. My advice: acknowledge every emotion that passes through you. You need to grieve. You should not be made to feel guilty for grieving. I recommend updating your Dr. and keeping them abreast of how you're feeling. Hugs!

slfezz · January 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad several years ago when I was 6 months pregnant with DD#1. I highly recommend talking to a therapist to help you with the grieving process and get to a good place mentally by the time the baby comes. Until then just make sure that you are eating, drinking, and sleeping like you should and the baby will be fine. Your grieving will not impact the baby so just let that out. My DH would constantly remind me to take care of myself physically and that really helped out.

gamommyx3 · January 2016

Very sorry for your loss.

Bluejay3030 · January 2016

I don't have additional advice to offer, but I wanted to say I am so very sorry for your loss.

lalala2004 · January 2016

slfezz said:
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad several years ago when I was 6 months pregnant with DD#1. I highly recommend talking to a therapist to help you with the grieving process and get to a good place mentally by the time the baby comes. Until then just make sure that you are eating, drinking, and sleeping like you should and the baby will be fine. Your grieving will not impact the baby so just let that out. My DH would constantly remind me to take care of myself physically and that really helped out.

This is great advice. I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about grieving. As long as you stay physically healthy, so will your baby.

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