Stressing after previous losses :(

Kbryce94 · January 2016

Hi Ladies, would say i am new here but this is my third time on the app in the last year, I lost 2 babies in 2015, one in april and again in august both about 7 weeks. To say i am anxious is an understatement. I am about 5 weeks pregnant again but i was on clomafine this time to fall. I fell naturally both times the last time. Has anyone else had two previous losses & gone on to have a healthy baby, i just cant ever picture hubby & I with a little one no matter how bad we want this. I also have PCOS which seems to be increasing my chances of miscarriage

Alyeena · January 2016

Hi, I am sorry for your losses, I know how hard it can be, I really really hope this is the one for you.

Personally I only had one loss before this pregnancy, last August at 8 weeks. I am now 6w6d and we got to see a heartbeat, last time we never did. I also have PCOS like you, there are conflicting studies on whether or not it does increase the risk of miscarriage so I would try to not dwell on it if I was you. I know it is very hard, but try to focus on one day at the time, that is what I do.

Do you know when you will have your first ultrasound?

Kbryce94 · January 2016

Hi Alyeena,

Thanks so much for your reply, i got to see both my babies heart beats the last 2 times but both seemed to just stop growing about 7 weeks but i diddnt actually find out and miscarry until about 9.

My first scan is on the 27th of the month so two weeks today, i should be about 7.5 weeks by then i hope but its such a long wait.

So sorry to hear about your loss its the most horrible feeling! Really hope its your turn this time too

tigerfish227 · January 2016

@Kbryce94 you're not alone. PGAL (pregnant after loss) is never easy. I've had 3 confirmed losses myself and I'm trying to treat each day as it's own little victory. Don't be afraid to jump into the pgal weekly check in on Mondays (you can post all week). A lot of PGAL girls use the mantra "today I am pregnant" to help settle your nerves too. It seems simple but it actually does help a bit.

Eta: here is this week's check in. It sunk to the next page so it took a minute to find it. Hope this helps!
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12655964/pgal-check-in-1-11#latest

Blairbear28 · January 2016

I have had a miscarriage, ectopic and stillbirth. I am constantly terrified for this pregnancy, but hopeful.

fiorip · January 2016

First of all I'm so sorry for everyone who's ever lost a child, it's the worst kind of pain. I had my first lost at the beginning of last year, I was about 4-6 weeks when I starting cramping and bleeding. My second pregnancy made it well into the second trimester, at that point you don't expect anything to go wrong, you're supposed to be pass the miscarrying stage. On August 4th at 22 weeks I went into premature labor and it couldn't be stopped, I delivered my boy and he didn't survive. I'm still grieving, I still cry, I had not only seen my baby's heartbeat but his little hands and feet, he had a full head of hair, his daddy's nose and my mouth, he was my beautiful healthy baby boy.

I know how you feel, I'm scared as hell and anxious and nervous but there's nothing I want more than a baby in my arms, my baby and I will never give up trying, I pray for my miracle child and I will pray for all of you to have sticky healthy babies.

norahelizabeth · January 2016

It's so powerful to hear all of your stories. I miscarried at 12 weeks last July and have been very open with my friends, family, and community about what I'm going through and they have been so, so supportive. It's deeper hearing your stories, though, because while others may understand they can't truly empathize. Even my husband doesn't really understand what it was like and how much I can remember every second of that day and what it physically felt like to lose our baby.

I feel mostly excited and optimistic this time around but, as we move along (and are still waiting for our first meeting with our OB) it feels scarier.

Here's to happy thoughts and beautiful, healthy babies!

Kbryce94 · January 2016

Thanks ladies for all your little messages and i am so sorry for each and everyone of your losses there is honestly nothing worse no matter how far along you are.

I am praying for each and everyone of you including myself that this is finally our turns! x

plumeria05 · January 2016

@Kbryce94 - I hope your little miracle will continue to grow.

js4372 · January 2016

I totally get your anxiety. I had two losses last year as well- one in June and one in October. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism which needs to be very closely monitored so I used to blame myself as well thinking I caused it. But my new OB was great and really reassured me that it didn't cause the miscarriages. I am so nervous and anxious and trying so hard to not be super excited yet. I will pray for super sticky little bean for all you ladies! I go in this Friday at 5w6d for my first appt- hoping we can see something and I can hear a heartbeat so I can hopefully relax a bit.

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