January 2016 Moms

Who will/ was with you for delivery?

MommyduclosMommyduclos member
edited January 2016 in January 2016 Moms
My mom and I got in a disagreement because she thinks I am so strange that I don't want her there for delivery but I think that I am in the majority- DH/baby daddy/ SO only. So I'm curious who did you have/ want to have at your birth? I am not including paid support as part of this poll.

Who will/ was with you for delivery? 138 votes

DH/ SO/ baby daddy ONLY
73% 101 votes
Option 1 plus my mom or similar person
24% 34 votes
The whole family
0% 1 vote
Free for all- anyone who wants to be there
1% 2 votes

Re: Who will/ was with you for delivery?

  • ps: I know I can have whomever I want but I'm just curious if I am in the minority. I feel like I see tons of people on these boards saying they don't want anyone there but maybe they are just the ones getting flack for their decisions and not actually the majority.
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  • I think its a very private and personal moment in your life. It's very selfish of someone to be upset that they will not be in the room. I mean no disrespect to your mother. That being said it will just be my husband in the delivery room
  • It was just baby daddy when it came time to start pushing.
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  • Some woman really want the support of their mother, sister or close friend. It's a personal choice
  • Husband only. X4.
    N (2004)A (2007), N (2010), and L (due 1/2016)
  • SO, mom, MIL if she makes it in time (she lives 3 hours away), and my best friend when it's time to push. But I don't care who's in there up until that time. And I don't care who wants to come in right after, as long as my family gets to first.
  • I'll be flying solo for my C-section this week, BUT if I were having a vaginal delivery it would be my SO and mom.  My mom is super mellow though and great support.  Otherwise, just SO.

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  • DH for sure, my MIL arrives tomorrow and I'm thinking her too but we're just going to wing it depending on how I feel at the time. (My MIL is a good friend too and my own Mum can't be here, I thought I might want a mother figure around)
  • Hubby, Mom, birth photographer.
  • By the time I started pushing I really didn't care who was there.. My mom was an awesome support though labor not just to me but to my husband. It meant so much to her and it didn't bug me so it was worth it to have her there because of how special it was to her...
  • DH will be the only one there for our entire hospital stay.
  • I should add that my mom will be at our house watching our son.
  • CSs so I could only have DH but I had my mom and MIL in while I was laboring. But I told them I would kick them out when baby was coming.
    Married 2006
    DS1 2010
    DS2 2013
    DD1 2016
  • I'm the opposite actually. My husband is VERY squeamish and childish when it comes to these things. He got offended when I said that my mom is the main person to be in the room. She has been in this position before (birth) and can listen and help me through the process. She didn't have an epi with my brother and I and I don't want one either. I didn't take any breathing classes so I feel as if I NEED her there 100%. My aunt is also going to be in the room because she is a great support system. If my MIL makes it out here on time I wouldn't mind her in the room either. I want my husband in there when I'm almost done pushing. He still laughs when my doctor says "breasts" and gets grossed out during pelvic exams so I don't know how he can think that it's ok for him to be the only person in the room. He can't stand the sight of blood or when I got sick at the doctor.... DH also said that his dad passed out when all 4 of his kids were born. I mean if you were in my shoes who would you want as your main support. Every situation is different.....
  • I had my mother and husband with my first pregnancy, but it will be just my husband and I and our midwives for this pregnancy.
  • I had planned for DH, mom and my sister to be there. My dad was in the room for most of the day and was just behind the curtain during the actual delivery. My MIL wanted to be there, too but I drew the line there...DH agreed.
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  • SummerOHSummerOH member
    edited January 2016
    My husband, my mom, and my MIL with DS #1 and will be with this one, too. They even watched him come out. I thought I'd be one of those "must stay at my head" women, but by the time DS was ready to come out, I didn't care who was looking! I'm close with my MIL, though, so I think that makes a difference. We talked about it after, like a year after, and I asked if it was weird for her and she said she didn't even focus on, "I'm looking at my DIL's vagina," it was all on him coming out. All she remembers from it is how he looked, how he opened his eyes and turned his head from side to side, cried, etc. So I was being modest over nothing, really (but again, by that point I didn't care!).

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


  • It was only my DH and I'm so glad. I love my Mom but I knew she would end up being worried and that would make me anxious. My delivery ended up being rough and I'm so happy it was only DH. 
  • My mom is a nurse and very proactive when it comes to my care so I had her and DH in the room. Plus, DH refused to cut the cord and I still wanted someone of meaning to do it.
  • I wanted my mom and DH to be in the room.  Originally my mom didn't think she'd be able to handle being in there.  She gets really anxious/worried over everything.  Also, she didn't think she could bare to see me in any sort of pain (she walked away from the ear piercing stand when I was 13, because she didn't want to see the needle going in, lol).

    She did change her mind and I am glad she did.  I was admitted on a Sunday evening and DS didn't arrive until Wednesday afternoon at 2:17.  She stayed at the hospital for the three days up until he arrived and stayed for a few hours after his birth.  She was a HUGE support and life saver for both DH and I as DS was early and we were unsure of complications if any, that he or I may have during/after the birth.  Thankfully, we were both healthy and everything went smoothly.  DH was up at the hospital too, but I had him go home and sleep each night, in case DS did decide to make his appearance I wanted at least 1 of us to be somewhat rested.  

    Not that this would have warranted an open invitation for anybody to be there, but because DS was preemie, I had 14 people including my mom and DH staring/watching me birth our son. So really...it wouldn't had mattered in the end who I had in there, because it wasn't exactly an intimate moment for my family and I. 
  • DH had no interest in being present for any birth but inadvertently was present when DD1 was born, along with my mom and two family friends (an older lesbian couple with no kids). My mom was planned, the other two were not, but the bond they have with DD1 as a result of being there is just beautiful. So, we planned a repeat for this second child, minus DH who stayed at home with DD1 (and was happy to do so). Fortunately it worked out just fine (just this past Thursday), and I hope our friends will have a special bond with this child as well. Chances are good, because it also happened to be the bday of one of them!

     

  • My mom apparently had a really antiquated birth in mind for me because she tried to desperately argue that she needed to be here to wait with my husband in the waiting room. No... no mom, he's in there with me seeing this through to the end. And the idea of a waiting room full of people (or worse, the delivery room full of people!) makes my skin crawl. We've made it pretty clear that we will be ready for visitors after we're settled back in at home and not a moment sooner.
  • I love my mom, but there is no way I'd wanted in there with me delivering!
  • CaraBoonieCaraBoonie member
    edited January 2016
    My mom and I are VERY close and VERY openly talk about all things body and sex etc...but no way do I want her in the room! In fact, I wish *I* didn't have to be in the room for it, lol. The idea of somebody else watching, no thank you. I'm one of those that find labor/birth to be a gross thing that is necessary to get the end result of a biological child, not a beautiful miracle. And I actually am extremely interested in medicine and like to watch live surgeries, go figure. DH wishes he didn't have to be there either, but he's been told if I have to go through it, so does he, haha. My parents will be called when she's born and will come to the hospital then (they live about an hour away), giving us time alone to bond with the baby, nurse, etc.

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  • Just daddy and possibly my aunt or sister. My mom lives 7 hours away and my aunt and I have a very close relationship. My sister really want to be a part of my little ones life because our brother and his family (2 kids) live very far away and we don't have a TON of involvement with them bc of it (military family and relationship hardships on my brothers half). It just all depends on what time of day it is and who can get there. (Aunt is a teacher and sister currently is car-less due to an accident beginning of September).
  • I had SO and my mom for both of my deliveries. For me, SO was a given. If he got me pregnant and I had to be miserable for 9+ months, you best believe he was going to be present for me to tell him how I really feel about him in that exact moment ;)
    My mom, I didn't really want there because she tends to be an overly emotional person and often too personal. But, her mom passed away when she was 18, so she doesn't get the opportunity to have that experience of her mom bring present for delivery. To her, it meant the world that she was able to be there to see her grandkids being born.

    Although this time, she barely made it (same with the doc). She was watching DS and had to have my dad get to my house before she could come to the hospital. They kept asking where she was. SO called her and I yelled that she better bust ass if she wanted to be there. She walked in, I was already in stirrups, they broke my water, and one half-hearted push then tada! A baby! She didn't even get to take her coat off. Lol
  • My husband was there and my sister was there for 2 out of my 3 births. My sister helps me keep calm and she took all of the inportant pictures (of baby) after birth. She also let my mom and dad know when baby was born.

     

     

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  • My induction is in 5 hours and DH, Mom, & MIL will stay during labor. Mom is a paramedic and has delivered babies and seen it all over the last 30+ years. Mil & DH have already been instructed to stay by my head. I'm a ftm so we will see how it works out.
  • My DH and MiL were with me when I had my DS. My mom died several years ago and I'm very close to my MiL. I plan to have both of them there again, as long as my FIL or BIL can watch DS so MiL doesn't have to.



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