Hoping to make this my new home for a while

Boots&Co · January 2016

*losses mentioned*
Hi ladies!
After lurking for a while and reading the sticky posts, I think I'd like to join in the support of this community and make this my home for a while as I adjust to my new normal and prepare myself for the future.

I'm currently going through my second mc in less than 6 months. My first was natural back in August at 6w and this time has been harder because it's a missed mc at 6+4. I used cylotec Thursday to induce it and I'm just hoping to get this over with so I can move forward and try again in a few months.

My current challenges include the massive number of friends and family who are currently expecting/ have just had a baby. It's a balance where I need to support them and be happy, and yet keep enough distance to not have my own breakdown. Someone else said on another thread its exhausting being happy, and I can totally agree with that. One of my coworkers is only a few weeks ahead of where I would be with no losses and one of my best friends is only one week ahead of where I'd be (we were TTC at the same time). Another friend gave birth to her gorgeous little girl the day I was told I was having a mc.

My blessings are my amazing husband of 4 years, our emotional and loving dog, my supportive mom, and my coworkers who have helped me out a lot this week (my job is very physical and I haven't been up to it).

I'm looking for a place where I can open up to those who understand what I've been through, who I can vent to, and seek advice with. You seem like a great group and I look forward to meeting you.

AL_TwinCities · January 2016

I am so sorry for your losses. I hope this loss is over soon for you.

I hear you on friends and family. It is easier for me when it is a close friend, because I am genuinely happy for them and can move past my sadness and jealousy. But acquaintances, coworkers, more distant relatives, those are very difficult. I am unfollowing those people on FB and am avoiding situations when I will see them, at least for a while. This is such a difficult experience - I am glad you have a good support network!

BornReady · January 2016

So sorry for your losses. We do have a nice community here that I have found as a great resource through this process. So definitely use us to "talk" it out, vent, ask questions etc. We all get it.

Glad you have such a great support system aside from here. Loved your description of your dog as "emotional", I can totally relate! Good luck moving forward.

megsbrock · January 2016

So very sorry for your two losses and to see you here, however I hope that being here can help as you navigate life after two losses.
Reading through your post I feel that we have a lot of similarities (two losses before 7 weeks, married for 4 years, an emotional dog, supportive close fam/friends, trouble dealing with acquaintances)....I feel you on ALL of that and I'm here to listen to any vent sessions or questions you have.
Take good care of yourself as you recover from your most recent loss. Hugs.

Boots&Co · January 2016

Thanks for the warm welcome and support. It's easier to get through it when you can talk to people who can relate.

Kay6519 · January 2016

I'm sorry for your losses. T&Ps that this process passes quickly for you. This is a great community for support. Hopefully your stay here will not be too long and you will get your sticky LO soon!

PeggyOlsonFTW · January 2016

I'm so sorry for your losses. Your story is similar to mine. MMC in September and a natural MC in December. I hope you find this community as supportive as I do, but I hope you don't have to stay here long!

NamelessAria · January 2016

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I'm glad that you have a good support system irl to help you through this difficult time.

Hopefully, once you're ready to start trying again, you'll get your rainbow baby soon.

Wishing you all the best.

alanna3622 · January 2016

@Boots&Co welcome to the board, so sorry to see you here. I also join the other ladies in hoping that this process is completed as quickly as possible.

I am so sorry that this is your second loss. I have read the posts of our ladies here about multiple losses and it strikes me as so unfair and awful.

On a lighter note, I have to ask - is Boots the name of your adorable-sounding dog?

Anyways please do stick around.

silentP · January 2016

Welcome, though I am sorry you have to be here and I hope your stay isn't too very long.

It's great you have a good support system and I hope 2016 brings you all you hope for!

catiecatp · January 2016

I hope your stay on these boards is short but restorative - I find the community here so loving and helpful and I hope you do too.

Boots&Co · January 2016

ive loved so many of your user names! I've been seeing some doctor who, mad men, and game of thrones, so that's awesome! @alanna3622 boots would be such a cute dog name, but that is actually the nickname my husband gave me after I broke my foot one winter and had to wear a giant boot shoe. It just stuck. In real life, my name is Lauren. Online, I'm realizing the "&" sign doesn't allow me to be notified when someone has mentioned me. So that'll be interesting.

strickland8052 · January 2016

@boots&co - sorry for your losses and welcome to the board.

Sorry you are dealing with the balancing act of being happy for others while keeping your sanity. My best friend is pregnant with her second accidental child so I unfortunately know that feeling too.

FX you get your rainbow baby soon!

PeggyOlsonFTW · January 2016

Boots&Co said:

ive loved so many of your user names! I've been seeing some doctor who, mad men, and game of thrones, so that's awesome! @alanna3622 boots would be such a cute dog name, but that is actually the nickname my husband gave me after I broke my foot one winter and had to wear a giant boot shoe. It just stuck. In real life, my name is Lauren. Online, I'm realizing the "&" sign doesn't allow me to be notified when someone has mentioned me. So that'll be interesting.

You can go onto the Knot and change your username there if the non-taggable ampersand really bugs you.

BaylieGirl · January 2016

I'm so sorry for everything you're going through! I'm right there with you with having so many friends expecting or just having had babies. I had 3 more friends announce on Facebook this weekend they're due during former due date of last week of July. It sucks. I tried to complain to some of my single non Married friends at happy hour on Friday but got called out for being unsympathetic to them because I actually have a husband and know I can "get" pregnant. I too am happy to have this board as home to hear other people going through the same thing I am. I try and look on the brightside that having other friends my age (37) get pregnant means that there is still hope my next one will be successful too. It just sucks because I feel my hormones are all over the place making me sad one minute and then grumpy and antisocial the next. Also this winter weather doesn't help my outlooks on life right now!!! Ugh!!!!!!

Boots&Co · January 2016

BaylieGirl said:
I'm so sorry for everything you're going through! I'm right there with you with having so many friends expecting or just having had babies. I had 3 more friends announce on Facebook this weekend they're due during former due date of last week of July. It sucks. I tried to complain to some of my single non Married friends at happy hour on Friday but got called out for being unsympathetic to them because I actually have a husband and know I can "get" pregnant. I too am happy to have this board as home to hear other people going through the same thing I am. I try and look on the brightside that having other friends my age (37) get pregnant means that there is still hope my next one will be successful too. It just sucks because I feel my hormones are all over the place making me sad one minute and then grumpy and antisocial the next. Also this winter weather doesn't help my outlooks on life right now!!! Ugh!!!!!!

That's the suckiest. I've found the only friends who are sympathetic are the ones who have also experienced a loss. One of my unmarried friends told me not to be upset because it wasn't like my baby was ever "alive", it's not like I lost a human. I guess unless you've been through it, you don't really know. But it's like I fell off a bike and skinned my knee. Let it heal and I'll get back on the bike again. The second loss has made me even more dedicated to taking care of myself to ensure a healthy future pregnancy.

queenklau · January 2016

@Boots&co, I am sorry for your losses. Welcome to the ttcal board, the ladies here are a wonderful support system. As PPs said, there are several of us with multiple mc. I had two mmc at 10 weeks in July and early Nov.

I know exactly what you mean about pg/birth announcements. My bbf just had her little girl in late Nov. We were pg together, same BMB a few weeks apart. It hurts me to see her beautiful and healthy baby, knowing that I could also have a one month old baby now...I try to balance out being happy for her but also taking care of my emotions. Going through my first EDD was tough.

I hope 2016 allows us to move onto a pregnancy board

.

catiecatp · January 2016

BaylieGirl said:

I'm so sorry for everything you're going through! I'm right there with you with having so many friends expecting or just having had babies. I had 3 more friends announce on Facebook this weekend they're due during former due date of last week of July. It sucks. I tried to complain to some of my single non Married friends at happy hour on Friday but got called out for being unsympathetic to them because I actually have a husband and know I can "get" pregnant. I too am happy to have this board as home to hear other people going through the same thing I am. I try and look on the brightside that having other friends my age (37) get pregnant means that there is still hope my next one will be successful too. It just sucks because I feel my hormones are all over the place making me sad one minute and then grumpy and antisocial the next. Also this winter weather doesn't help my outlooks on life right now!!! Ugh!!!!!!

My BFF hasn't said anything, and she's been so supportive but in my head she's saying this - which is incredibly unfair to her, I know - based on what she's said in the past when I was lamenting having to wait to TTC.

In terms of the winter weather - have you tried a seasonal affective disorder lamp? It is a lamp (though I figure they likely sell bulbs that fit regular devices too) that mimics the spectrum of light from the sun. I suffer from clinical depression that doesn't follow a seasonal pattern and I still get a benefit from it when I remember to useit... I'm not sure how much they are since it has been well over a decade since I got mine - but I find that it can really help.

WinchesterGirl · January 2016

So sorry for your losses, and welcome. This is a very disheartening process to go through alone, and this board is a great support system! Hopefully your stay here will be short.

susykat77 · January 2016

@Boots&Co I am so sorry for your losses. Are you working with an OB or an RE? Are you having any tests run to see if you can pinpoint the cause of the miscarriages? Big (creepy internet) hugs to you.

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