Military Spouses?

BBROBB · December 2015

Anyone have experience or are currently going through a spouse deployment? My husband will be leaving in January and his return date is "set" for three weeks after my due date. This is our first child. I am trying to prepare myself for this and figured I'd reach out to anyone with some advice

Nerdchild · December 2015

@BBROBB My husband is active duty army, and while I haven't experienced pregnancy during deployment, I have friends who have. Make sure your POA is in order before he leaves (if you haven't already), discuss the option have skyping with your spouse during labor with your o.b. and the hospital where you plan on delivering, and see if family or a close friend can take an extended vacation to help you and baby get settled at home after you leave the hospital. If you are close with your neighbors, ask them if they would be willing to collect mail or check in on any pets you may have.

I'm sure you know how much spouses, fiancées, and significant others lean on each other during deployments, whether through the FRG or through your own network of people. It sucks having to go through life changing events without your spouse, but that doesn't mean you are alone.

trucksntutus · December 2015

While LO's dad and I are not together, he's active Navy. He's not going to deploy for another 2.5 years supposedly. (Even though I'm not entirely sure how all that works when you're stationed somewhere.) But I know he'll be gone while the munchkin is very young vs while I'm pregnant. Do you have family or friends you can lean on while he's away?

candypantsls · December 2015

I found out I was pregnant with my first son while my husband was deployed. He was set to come back after the due date. One thing I'd recommend is saying "yes" to help that is offered. A lot of people have good intentions and say, "let me know how I can help!" and then you just smile, say okay, and never ask them... I think it's okay to whole-heartedly explain that yes, having a baby without your husband is going to be overwhelming and you would very much appreciate x, y or z (a meal, an hour of help when the baby comes so you can shower, or a trip to the store for you). Write those folks names down and call them! Haha. Ask them if it's alright to hit them up around the due date as things come up.

You've got this, mama!!!

ogeez4 · January 2016

I'm a MS and I have been pregnant while my hubby was deployed. Thankfully, he does not deploy to combat areas so I wasn't as stressed as some of my other friends in other units. I depended on Face time, Skype, family and my best friend for support. It helped a lot to know that there was someone that could understand what I was going through when hubby couldn't video chat. My advice is, always have a back up because although he was scheduled to return 6 weeks before my induction date, someone violated OPSEC and he had to stay where he was for an additional 2 months......leaving my father and sister to be my only support systems. Had I been prepared, I would have been able to plan a little better.

sami1784 · January 2016

My husband did his 3 week train-up the last month I was pregnant with DS, and had to be brought back home from the MOB station for the birth. After that, aside from a couple days home before him heading overseas when DS was a month old, I spent the first eight months on my own.

TaylorK89 · January 2016

(Lurking from the June BMB) My husband is in the Navy, and while I will not have to deal with a deployment this pregnancy, I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. The only advice I have is to echo what other PPs have said in being prepared, accepting help and support from others (whether they be neighbors, fellow milsos, or your family) and accepting the reality that he may for one reason or another not make it home in time for the birth, due to an extension, preterm labor, etc. Just do what you can to be prepared. And we are always here for moral support as well

BBROBB · January 2016

Thank you very much everyone. The date is growing nearer and this is not growing any easier. I keep telling myself I'm not the only one that has gone through this, and these words of encouragement are what keep me pushing through.

sami1784 · January 2016

Once the time gets here, you'll realize it's all going to be fine and that you can do this!

It'll take some time to get into a routine, but just remember it's only temporary. Skype is amazing during deployment. Something that helped me pass time was focusing on making care packages to send from home, even if it was just a "if it fits, it ships" box full of cans of Sundrop.

maddmama · January 2016

My husband wasn't deployed while I was pregnant, but he was gone for a year a couple years ago. He may be deployed this year right before I have the baby ... We're waiting to see what happens, but my doctor mentioned skyping during the birth so that's something to look into/discuss. It may sound impossible, but the situation becomes your normal while it's happening. I tried to keep myself busy and saw friends and family all the time. Reach out if you ever need to talk to someone!

BaileyCLB · January 2016

Maybe he could request to be included in the ADVON party so he could come home sooner? He would have to leave a little early but it would be worth it to ensure he was home before the birth. Something to think about.

BBROBB · January 2016

My husband left this morning, and I am feeling nothing but extreme sadness and loneliness. We have been apart from each other for four months (basic and tech school) before, but the longevity of this is already hurting, more so carrying his baby

. First time in 8 years we've been apart this long...thank you to everyone who's offered me condolence...I'm wondering how long it's going to take for this to get easier.

BBROBB · January 2016

@BaileyCLB this is the first time I have heard of that. I did some quick research; I'm not sure it applies to him? His whole unit did not deploy; it was him and one other from their base.

maddmama · January 2016

BBROBB said:
My husband left this morning, and I am feeling nothing but extreme sadness and loneliness. We have been apart from each other for four months (basic and tech school) before, but the longevity of this is already hurting, more so carrying his baby . First time in 8 years we've been apart this long...thank you to everyone who's offered me condolence...I'm wondering how long it's going to take for this to get easier.

I promise once you get in the swing of things and keep to a routine it'll get easier faster! While my husband was deployed I started working out every night and writing/reading more. Find something that makes you happy and keeps your mind busy and stick to it. Here for support whenever you need it! Hang in there

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