January 2016 Moms

Family DRAMA! *rant*

It never is easy is it? My parents wanted to be at the hospital while I was delivering no thanks! This is my third baby I know what I want and it is only my hubby- I don't want anyone even close. With my first we had grandparents at the hospital waiting and they wound up coming in awkwardly early post delivery- total oops moment. MIL texted my husband and said let us know when we can come back and he said ok and apparently they thought that meant they could come in instead of it meaning ok, he would let them know. Anyways..... No one at the hospital, thanks.

So I suggested that my parents watch our older kids, that whoever was with them would be our first phone call because I wanted them to come right away, if at all possible, so our birth photographer can capture their first meeting and our family as a whole. They loved the idea and everything was set then all of a sudden my mom starts sending me weird messages like "you better not call the other grandparents until we can come" what, seriously?

I told her again that it is our intention to have the children come first but we'll have to see how things play out- if I give birth late at night I'm not going to keep secrets until the next day when the kids can come and we aren't going to keep them away. Yes, I want the kids to visit first but like a 15 min visit not hours and hours of keeping everyone away.

So now she's decided that she doesn't want to watch the kids if it doesn't benefit her in some way, again seriously? That if I can't promise not to call the other grandparents until they come and "get a personal visit" then there's not point in them doing it. Ok then, selfish much?

But yet she insists it's the other grandparents who are "being competitive" and getting "preferential treatment". Right. You are crazy woman. Then she goes back to wanting to be at the hospital so she can be involved and pray. No. Stay home, we'll call you.

Oh and my due date/ scheduled induction is TOMORROW!

Re: Family DRAMA! *rant*

  • Ugh. I'd make sure that your nurses know your wishes as to only wanting DH in the room. Those ladies make for great bouncers. That way, if grandparents decide to pull funny business, they can be the bad guys to say no... I'd be pretty pissed with the whole scenario though.
    They are adults who have obviously had children and should act a bit more understanding about the situation. Do you have a backup option for a sitter? Or is she just using that as a "scare tactic" of sorts?

    Either way, I'm sorry! And good luck!
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  • That is so low to use babysitting as a blackmail and her own daughter. Can you ask other grandparents to look after them? I would be very upset too
  • Yeah the other grandparents will be watching the kids now and I put who's allowed in the room on my birth plan! My mom is always a little crazy but this is a little low even for her! I'm so annoyed.
  • Oh the audacity! Now she's mad that she doesn't have "special involvement" in the birth and will be 45 min away when he is born. Ummmm staying with the plan for you to watch the other kids would have fixed both those issues.
  • I agree with PP. Use the nurses as bouncers. My aunt is a L&D nurse and she said she loves kicking unhelpful people out. Haha
  • OMG I was starting to think I was the only person going thru crap like this!!! We're first time parents so there aren't other kids involved but my mom is the same way about my in laws! Wants to know when they are going, what their plans are, etc!! Sad part is it's not just about the baby, it's every aspect of our lives feels like a competition with them! It's very draining! If i knew how to give you some advice I would but I haven't figured out how to handle it myself! I usually just let my mom say her irrational thoughts but this whole ordeal I've been thru with her has made it to where i don't even want her there! It's an awful feeling for sure! Good luck mama, I hope she realizes that she is being selfish and her grandkids and helping her daughter should be her priority!
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