@yogahh if your MIL becomes the reason you drink, we'd all completely understand.
Haha thanks. I should mention this was craziness she said just about the baby. I won't get into her views on why she doesn't wear leather after showing me new suede boots she bought, how she has to tell me how much money she spends on everything in life and how she talked for 15 minutes straight detailing from start to finish a book I mentioned I was getting ready to read (not anymore). Woman's nuts
My MIL Does. Not . Care. The 1st time I met her was at my wedding...so a good 4 years after I met my husband. The first time I spoke with her was when she asked me to include her daughter (who obviously I'd also never met) as a bridesmaid in the wedding. One of the 1st and only things she said to me about the pregnancy was "if you're only 8 weeks that's too early to be sick." In the past 10 weeks she has asked me exactly 1 time how I'm feeling, and that's only because she had to come into town for a family emergency last week. BTW this is her first grandchild. And it's not like she's a bitch or anything, she just has noooo attachment to anything. It's odd.
My MIL Does. Not . Care. The 1st time I met her was at my wedding...so a good 4 years after I met my husband. The first time I spoke with her was when she asked me to include her daughter (who obviously I'd also never met) as a bridesmaid in the wedding. One of the 1st and only things she said to me about the pregnancy was "if you're only 8 weeks that's too early to be sick." In the past 10 weeks she has asked me exactly 1 time how I'm feeling, and that's only because she had to come into town for a family emergency last week. BTW this is her first grandchild. And it's not like she's a bitch or anything, she just has noooo attachment to anything. It's odd.
This is my MIl and FIL. They haven't asked me once how I'm doing. Haven't done anything sweet for us--no card, no cute gift...nothing. When we told MIL, she said "I hope it's true." FIL started talking about something random after we told him. My h does not come from an emotive family, but even considering that, I find their detachment off-putting.
See, I adore my MIL, step-MIL and FIL. I do not however get along with husbands stepfather.
SFIL is over 20 years older than my MIL, and that's totally ok! They love each other and that is what matters. They have been married for 16 years and SFIL was around for a lot of DH's life. He says that DH is his son, but boy he sure doesn't act like it! I have never heard someone be so demeaning in my life. He is constantly putting my husband down in one way or another actually asking ME (when DH was at work) why my husband isn't a better handy man because "his grandfather is a mater carpenter, he should have great skill..." Umm... Is he supposed to learn by osmosis?? My MIL and SFIL own two properties and we took over one of the homes they own (kind of a rent to own situation) and he constantly holds it over our heads. One day he actually yelled at us saying we don't deserve to have to house, we are disgusting slobs, he regrets asking us to take over the house and that he wasn't going to let us have it because my H didn't mow the lawn the day he mentioned it should probably be done. My H is a sous chef and works 12-14 hour days sometimes... Especially this past summer when the restaurant he works at just opened. He is just so rude. All the time. Curmudgeony old man!
He decided that we are having a girl and he keeps calling my Belly Sydney... No. Don't call my belly names. Especially ones I have no intention of naming my child. Before this, when we told him I am KU, his reactions was "What? Oh...that's...nice..."
The only other person I have any kind of issues with especially pregnancy related is my mother. She basically does what she wants without ever asking if it's what anyone else wants, and has her own idea of how things should and will go and is DEVISTATED if they don't go her way. We don't have the best of relationships and honestly I get along better with both my MILs. My mom was never a bad mother in any way, we just majorly clash. We moved from BC to Saskatchewan last year for a financially easier life, so we are not near any of my family. We are going home for Christmas, I will be 21 weeks and all my mom talks about is touching and rubbing my belly. She actually got into a fight with me when I asked her to send like a blanket statement to the family that I would like to be asked if someone wants to touch me. Just ASKED.
She actually got mad at me said I was being unreasonable and selfish, that I will make people upset if I don't let them touch me. I don't care! It's my freaking body, just because there is a baby in it doesn't not mean people get to invade my personal space. No. Don't touch me. Ask me. So she said "fine, but I'm going to touch you any time I want to..." NO! MY BODY, MY BABY! Go away!!! Ugh!
I'm actually dreading going home because I don't want to deal with my mothers ideas of what my birth should be (since she knows it all, she's already done it). She's already invited herself in the room while I'm in labour and invited herself and my Grandmother to stay at our (very tiny) house for 2 weeks after baby is born. And I mean RIGHT after. Thanks for asking if this was any of what I want mom... Good talk... Good talk...
@kylliethomson...you need to clue her into this simple formula for who is allowed into the delivery room: All non-hospital personnel - if you were present in the room for the conception, you may be present in the room for the delivery. If you weren't - you get the waiting room!!
I just have to vent about my MIL real quick. I know she is pissed we aren't telling the name of our son until birth so she has started calling him the most random names. Now I don't have anything against any of these random names like Fred and Buck, but I know she is doing this because she is pissed and is trying to prove a point. WHY NOT just call the baby, baby boy. UGH.
I just have to vent about my MIL real quick. I know she is pissed we aren't telling the name of our son until birth so she has started calling him the most random names. Now I don't have anything against any of these random names like Fred and Buck, but I know she is doing this because she is pissed and is trying to prove a point. WHY NOT just call the baby, baby boy. UGH.
Mine is also mad we are not telling her. She thinks he "deserves"to know before everyone else, and keeps telling me what names she likes and doesnt like. She totally slammed a name we loved (Whitney) to the point that we took it off the list. And she wonders why I dont want to tell her. She is gonna HATE Harper...
Next time she calls him something really random and BAD, act surprised and say "how did you know"...
I just have to vent about my MIL real quick. I know she is pissed we aren't telling the name of our son until birth so she has started calling him the most random names. Now I don't have anything against any of these random names like Fred and Buck, but I know she is doing this because she is pissed and is trying to prove a point. WHY NOT just call the baby, baby boy. UGH.
Mine is also mad we are not telling her. She thinks he "deserves"to know before everyone else, and keeps telling me what names she likes and doesnt like. She totally slammed a name we loved (Whitney) to the point that we took it off the list. And she wonders why I dont want to tell her. She is gonna HATE Harper...
Next time she calls him something really random and BAD, act surprised and say "how did you know"...
I just have to vent about my MIL real quick. I know she is pissed we aren't telling the name of our son until birth so she has started calling him the most random names. Now I don't have anything against any of these random names like Fred and Buck, but I know she is doing this because she is pissed and is trying to prove a point. WHY NOT just call the baby, baby boy. UGH.
Mine is also mad we are not telling her. She thinks he "deserves"to know before everyone else, and keeps telling me what names she likes and doesnt like. She totally slammed a name we loved (Whitney) to the point that we took it off the list. And she wonders why I dont want to tell her. She is gonna HATE Harper...
Next time she calls him something really random and BAD, act surprised and say "how did you know"...
That is a brilliant response!
THANKS! That is a very clever response and I will be doing that.
I just have to vent about my MIL real quick. I know she is pissed we aren't telling the name of our son until birth so she has started calling him the most random names. Now I don't have anything against any of these random names like Fred and Buck, but I know she is doing this because she is pissed and is trying to prove a point. WHY NOT just call the baby, baby boy. UGH.
Mine is also mad we are not telling her. She thinks he "deserves"to know before everyone else, and keeps telling me what names she likes and doesnt like. She totally slammed a name we loved (Whitney) to the point that we took it off the list. And she wonders why I dont want to tell her. She is gonna HATE Harper...
Next time she calls him something really random and BAD, act surprised and say "how did you know"...
IMO...this is just an added bonus to an already great name choice
Re: Problematic parents/in laws
This is my MIl and FIL. They haven't asked me once how I'm doing. Haven't done anything sweet for us--no card, no cute gift...nothing. When we told MIL, she said "I hope it's true." FIL started talking about something random after we told him. My h does not come from an emotive family, but even considering that, I find their detachment off-putting.
DS: Born 5-17-16
SFIL is over 20 years older than my MIL, and that's totally ok! They love each other and that is what matters. They have been married for 16 years and SFIL was around for a lot of DH's life. He says that DH is his son, but boy he sure doesn't act like it! I have never heard someone be so demeaning in my life. He is constantly putting my husband down in one way or another actually asking ME (when DH was at work) why my husband isn't a better handy man because "his grandfather is a mater carpenter, he should have great skill..." Umm... Is he supposed to learn by osmosis?? My MIL and SFIL own two properties and we took over one of the homes they own (kind of a rent to own situation) and he constantly holds it over our heads. One day he actually yelled at us saying we don't deserve to have to house, we are disgusting slobs, he regrets asking us to take over the house and that he wasn't going to let us have it because my H didn't mow the lawn the day he mentioned it should probably be done. My H is a sous chef and works 12-14 hour days sometimes... Especially this past summer when the restaurant he works at just opened. He is just so rude. All the time. Curmudgeony old man!
He decided that we are having a girl and he keeps calling my Belly Sydney... No. Don't call my belly names. Especially ones I have no intention of naming my child. Before this, when we told him I am KU, his reactions was "What? Oh...that's...nice..."
The only other person I have any kind of issues with especially pregnancy related is my mother. She basically does what she wants without ever asking if it's what anyone else wants, and has her own idea of how things should and will go and is DEVISTATED if they don't go her way. We don't have the best of relationships and honestly I get along better with both my MILs. My mom was never a bad mother in any way, we just majorly clash. We moved from BC to Saskatchewan last year for a financially easier life, so we are not near any of my family. We are going home for Christmas, I will be 21 weeks and all my mom talks about is touching and rubbing my belly. She actually got into a fight with me when I asked her to send like a blanket statement to the family that I would like to be asked if someone wants to touch me. Just ASKED.
She actually got mad at me said I was being unreasonable and selfish, that I will make people upset if I don't let them touch me. I don't care! It's my freaking body, just because there is a baby in it doesn't not mean people get to invade my personal space. No. Don't touch me. Ask me. So she said "fine, but I'm going to touch you any time I want to..." NO! MY BODY, MY BABY! Go away!!! Ugh!
I'm actually dreading going home because I don't want to deal with my mothers ideas of what my birth should be (since she knows it all, she's already done it). She's already invited herself in the room while I'm in labour and invited herself and my Grandmother to stay at our (very tiny) house for 2 weeks after baby is born. And I mean RIGHT after. Thanks for asking if this was any of what I want mom... Good talk... Good talk...
Next time she calls him something really random and BAD, act surprised and say "how did you know"...
THANKS! That is a very clever response and I will be doing that.
IMO...this is just an added bonus to an already great name choice