April 2016 Moms

UO Thursday 1/14

2

Re: UO Thursday 1/14

  • AGK2015 said:
    My UO is I can't stand when parents pierce their babies ears as infants. I don't automatically assume a girl will want them pierced, anymore than I assume my son will want his done. I think it's better to wait until they are old enough to take care of their ears by themselves (for me this was around six and my sisters around five or seven depending on when they asked)
    Slightly unpopular-er opinion: not only do I not see the point in having an baby's ears pierced, I also wouldn't permit a young child to do it.  It's a completely optional, 100% cosmetic permanent body modification that comes with real risks, and while I have no problem with piercings generally (I've got my ears pierced, too), I don't think there's any reason to rush it. Encouraging her to feel ownership over her own body and set her own boundaries regarding from a young age is one thing, but when we're talking about decisions like this, I'm okay making her wait until she's older.

    I was finally allowed to have mine pierced after years of begging when I was 10 or 11; It happened the same day I got baptized, so there was a very distinct tie to my being old enough to reason and make important choices for myself... i.e. no longer just a child. I'm not religious, so permission to pierce ears won't be tied to that particular rite of passage for my daughter, but I'll likely look for an opportunity to tie it into some other increased responsibility or mark of adulthood around the same age or a little later (entering junior high, maybe, or reaching puberty and having additional self-care responsibilities). 
    THIS. I seriously regret getting my ears pierced at a crappy Claire's with one of those nasty ear piercing guns. They carry SO much bacteria, and they literally force apart your skin with a blunt object, making the wound heal up jagged (hence why you have to turn them). I would love to tell LO that she can get her ears pierced when she's old enough to go into a tattoo parlor. They're so much more sterile, and using a sharp needle leaves a clean wound, meaning you DO NOT turn them. Your risk of infection drops by so much, it's insane. This coming from the girl who had to get her ears re-pierced 3 times after I originally got them done at 8 because of infections. The last time, I got it done a tattoo parlor. and no problems at all. 


  • I also hate those "classic" Croc shoes, but Crocs makes other kinds of shoes and some are fine. I have a pair of Crocs in a totally different style and no one would know they were Croc brand and they are comfortable.
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  • AGK2015 said:
    My UO is I can't stand when parents pierce their babies ears as infants. I don't automatically assume a girl will want them pierced, anymore than I assume my son will want his done. I think it's better to wait until they are old enough to take care of their ears by themselves (for me this was around six and my sisters around five or seven depending on when they asked)
    Slightly unpopular-er opinion: not only do I not see the point in having an baby's ears pierced, I also wouldn't permit a young child to do it.  It's a completely optional, 100% cosmetic permanent body modification that comes with real risks, and while I have no problem with piercings generally (I've got my ears pierced, too), I don't think there's any reason to rush it. Encouraging her to feel ownership over her own body and set her own boundaries regarding from a young age is one thing, but when we're talking about decisions like this, I'm okay making her wait until she's older.

    I was finally allowed to have mine pierced after years of begging when I was 10 or 11; It happened the same day I got baptized, so there was a very distinct tie to my being old enough to reason and make important choices for myself... i.e. no longer just a child. I'm not religious, so permission to pierce ears won't be tied to that particular rite of passage for my daughter, but I'll likely look for an opportunity to tie it into some other increased responsibility or mark of adulthood around the same age or a little later (entering junior high, maybe, or reaching puberty and having additional self-care responsibilities). 
    Agree, for all the reasons above.  This is an EXTREMELY UO in my Latino family. Most baby girls get their ears pierced as soon as parents think it's 'safe' which for some reason has been 3 months in my family. My aunt just asked my mom if my niece has had her ears pierced yet and she is 2 weeks old!

    We are team green but already know we will wait for her to ask if we have a girl and then determine the right age for the responsibility. I also don't want to assume she would want them pierced because what if she is more of a tomboy? What if she's super into sports and they are a hazard/annoying/hindrance. Yeah, she could always take them out but then, as you said, there are permanent holes in her ears...
  • Maybe my UO is that I love crocs. All my kids have their own pair. They are so easy to slip on, and can be worn year round (where we live). Not having to wait 10 minutes for a 3 year old to put their shoes on, because "I do myself!" Priceless. I don't care how ugly they are. Most kids' shoes are ugly, so oh well. 
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  • rebelone said:

    Since I touched on gauges, I think they are ugly and I can't see why people get them.

    yES! Your ears don't go back. Ever seen someone walking around without them in? "Do your ears hang low" plays in my head whenever I see this. 
    image 
  • yodiggity said:


    rebelone said:

    Since I touched on gauges, I think they are ugly and I can't see why people get them.


    yES! Your ears don't go back. Ever seen someone walking around without them in? "Do your ears hang low" plays in my head whenever I see this. 

    They look like buttholes. All my friends who got them in highschool regret it. ALL OF THEM DO! This isn't the typical you'll regret your tattoo when you're older thing either to me... Gauges make you look like you have buttholes on your earlobes, and unprofessional when they are in.
  • Poppy16 said:

    Maybe my UO is that I love crocs. All my kids have their own pair. They are so easy to slip on, and can be worn year round (where we live). Not having to wait 10 minutes for a 3 year old to put their shoes on, because "I do myself!" Priceless. I don't care how ugly they are. Most kids' shoes are ugly, so oh well. 

    Crocs on kids are adorable.
  • briterfly84briterfly84 member
    edited January 2016
    I had my ears pierced 6 times by the time I was 8. All by Claire's, all horribly. I am allergic to most metals, but at the young age couldn't tell my mom what was bothering me until they were so infected I had to take them out, which then hurt too bad to put more in and they closed up. But as a girl with a boyish name and hairstyle due to major toddler illness and hair loss, I BEGGED to repierce. As I got older I chose to add more ear piercings but had them done at a reputable tattoo studio, with SO MUCH MORE SUCCESS. They are professional and a much better option healthwise for any age piercings. Just my 2 cents
    Meanwhile, I'm over here just laughing my ass off at the butthole reference to the gauges! Crack me up...while rocking my fake gauges. You'd be surprised at how many people you assume are gauged wear fakers. Mainly to avoid the butthole lobes!




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  • OMG the photo is HUGE and I can't make it smaller!  Sorry ladies! Good thing my ears are clean! hahaha
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  • kalanieileenkalanieileen member
    edited January 2016
    rebelone said:

    Since I touched on gauges, I think they are ugly and I can't see why people get them.

    image

    image

    Zayum girl tell me how you really feel ;)
  • My UO: GAUGES NEVER DIE!

    Haha but seriously... I love my gauges and don't regret one second of it. What may seem ugly to others are beautiful to some. I'm at 5/8" I want to go bigger. I've been stretching for 4 years now. Also I'm trying to be covered in beautiful tattoos :D
  • kalanieileenkalanieileen member
    edited January 2016

    yodiggity said:


    rebelone said:

    Since I touched on gauges, I think they are ugly and I can't see why people get them.


    yES! Your ears don't go back. Ever seen someone walking around without them in? "Do your ears hang low" plays in my head whenever I see this. 
    They look like buttholes. All my friends who got them in highschool regret it. ALL OF THEM DO! This isn't the typical you'll regret your tattoo when you're older thing either to me... Gauges make you look like you have buttholes on your earlobes, and unprofessional when they are in.


    QBF


    I have gauges thy actually look very professional. Just depends on what you put in your ears.
  • NOLA520 said:
    UO: I absolutely despise cutesy nicknames like "hubby." It fills me with additional rage when people use "wifey," especially when women use it to refer to themselves. Like, that's a term that originally signified that a woman was a dude's "top chick..." AMONG MANY. Is that really how you want to be seen? Now people use wifey differently, but I hold grudges for a long time.
    UO#2: It makes me SO angry when people have ridiculous cosmetic procedures like ear and tail docking done to their dogs. I don't give a fuck what breed your dog is and what people think it's "supposed to" look like, it was born with ears and a tail. Leave them there.
    I am not a huge fan of hubby, but I kind of like wifey. I wasn't actually aware of the original meaning... (I've never been called wifey...but those shirts with wifey written across the chest in script are hella cute.)

    100% agree with you on opinion #2, except in rare cases. From what I understand in talking with trainers, in some cases it's done for the good of the dog - such as some breeds have really long fragile tails and the dog ends up with painful tail injuries if you don't dock. I think that's rare, though, and obviously doesn't fall under the "cosmetic" category.
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  • I've always hated wifey... I'm really sick of how much it's caught on. I see it EVERYWHERE. I only like to use hubby if I'm teasing DH... Like "the hubby thought it would be a good idea to shave the cat." I hate pet names in general.

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  • My BFF and I call each other wifey, but that's more because we were actually having serious conversations about getting married for a while. Our relationship is so hard to explain to people lol... Luckily my fiancé gets it and knows it's not like that.
  • @Knottie9983816 I hate it when women refer to themselves as wifey in terms of either actually getting married or already married... Calling your BFF your wifey is very different. I usually end up thinking of the Japanese version of the term, and that one is rather... Creepy.

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  • fbanke42 said:

    @Knottie9983816 I hate it when women refer to themselves as wifey in terms of either actually getting married or already married... Calling your BFF your wifey is very different. I usually end up thinking of the Japanese version of the term, and that one is rather... Creepy.

    What is it? O.o
  • spicedicespicedice member
    edited January 2016
    @Knottie9983816 In Japanese, if someone is referring to their wifey, they're usually talking about an anime character that they are obsessed with and are sexually attracted to... I've known a few otaku men with a "wifey," and most of the time the character that they are obsessed with would be way too young to consent to a relationship in real life. That may just stem from me knowing way too many creepy otaku... DH calls me a closet otaku, which to him is the most bearable.

    Edit, because I also forgot about the other half of the term:
    In anime and manga, a character may also refer to a girl/woman as wifey because they are obsessed with her and wish that they were in a relationship with them.

    Another UO: I don't understand why a couple would not make major decisions together. DH and I sit down and talk about the pros and cons of switching birth control methods, if we should apply for a different job, if we are going to do something related to the kids, etc... I just don't understand how one person can just back out of the decision and just let the other person make the choice 100%... In the end, you are both effected somehow. DH tries to just let me make the choices about a lot of things, but I won't let him. I drag him into it, kicking and screaming if I have to.

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  • fbanke42 said:

    @Knottie9983816 In Japanese, if someone is referring to their wifey, they're usually talking about an anime character that they are obsessed with and are sexually attracted to... I've known a few otaku men with a "wifey," and most of the time the character that they are obsessed with would be way too young to consent to a relationship in real life.

    Another UO: I don't understand why a couple would not make major decisions together. DH and I sit down and talk about the pros and cons of switching birth control methods, if we should apply for a different job, if we are going to do something related to the kids, etc... I just don't understand how one person can just back out of the decision and just let the other person make the choice 100%... In the end, you are both effected somehow. DH tries to just let me make the choices about a lot of things, but I won't let him. I drag him into it, kicking and screaming if I have to.

    I disagree to an extent. Buying a house? By all means, discuss. Stopping b/c or changing careers? Definitely discussion-worthy. However, I plan to have another IUD after LO comes; DH's opinion is that he has no opinion, because it's my body and we've agreed to wait before having another kid. I know me better than anyone, and I know that this method works for me.
  • AGK2015AGK2015 member
    edited January 2016
    @Knottie9983816 In Japanese, if someone is referring to their wifey, they're usually talking about an anime character that they are obsessed with and are sexually attracted to... I've known a few otaku men with a "wifey," and most of the time the character that they are obsessed with would be way too young to consent to a relationship in real life. Another UO: I don't understand why a couple would not make major decisions together. DH and I sit down and talk about the pros and cons of switching birth control methods, if we should apply for a different job, if we are going to do something related to the kids, etc... I just don't understand how one person can just back out of the decision and just let the other person make the choice 100%... In the end, you are both effected somehow. DH tries to just let me make the choices about a lot of things, but I won't let him. I drag him into it, kicking and screaming if I have to.
    I disagree to an extent. Buying a house? By all means, discuss. Stopping b/c or changing careers? Definitely discussion-worthy. However, I plan to have another IUD after LO comes; DH's opinion is that he has no opinion, because it's my body and we've agreed to wait before having another kid. I know me better than anyone, and I know that this method works for me.
    Yuuuuuup.  I'll happily notify my husband if the BC I'm switching to provides us with less protection in the long or short term or if I'm expecting a major expense as a result of a BC change, and I wouldn't go off BC altogether without a serious discussion, but at the end of the day it's a necessary prescription medication (or medical device, depending) that affects my body, not his. I wouldn't ask his opinion on my daily multivitamins, and I wouldn't expect him to clear a blood pressure prescription with me. This falls into that same category, as far as I'm concerned.

    ETA: Also, note the use of "my husband," because I find "DH" every bit as cutesy as "hubby," and I refuse to use it. 
  • @AmadorRose I discuss birth control with DH because I need to make sure he's also comfortable with it. I decided on the IUD for after LO, and asked DH if he agreed that that was fine. He did, since it meant saving money and not having to worry about a condom breaking. We extensively talked about the pull out method combined with natural family planning before I was willing to get off of Implanon between DS and getting pregnant again. I needed off of a hormonal birth control because it was making me insanely depressed. We debated about it for a month before going for it, and ended up too drunk in July to remember to do what we were supposed to. I'm all for bodily autonomy, but I think if both you can your partner are potentially effected, then there should at least be a discussion.

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  • @fbanke42 I guess I'm in the camp that I trust DH to do what is best for him and he trusts me to do what's best for me. He was prescribed a cocktail of mental health meds a while back; he never took them, because in the past when he has had psych evals and taken the medications, he felt like a zombie. Was living with him really freaking difficult when he was having nightmares and texting me every 5 minutes asking if I was ok? It was. But I trusted that he knows his mind and body better than I do, so I did my best to support him and reduce his triggers so that the issues could subside without chemical intervention. They did, and he didn't have to go through the ups and downs of adjusting doses of antidepressants/sleep aides/etc. If I felt he wasn't competent enough to make decisions regarding his own health, I would speak up - but that's just not the case.
  • @AmadorRose - Nooooooo it's only 7 extra letters! U can do it, I believe in u! ;)
  • AGK2015 said:

    @AmadorRose - Nooooooo it's only 7 extra letters! U can do it, I believe in u! ;)

    You*

    ;)

    Jk don't hurt me
    You took the words right out of my mouth!
  • @AmadorRose I could see making an exclusive decision about your own health, just not if it meant the other person was forced to do something also. Birth control is the only thing that I feel like really effects both people in the sense that one of both parties has to do something. DH was not comfortable with having sex without condoms for a very long time... Even while I was on a hormonal contraceptive. That was something I was fine with, but I wouldn't have know if we had not discussed it. If I just told DH that I was going to get off birth control and he better figure something out to prevent pregnancy, he would be pissed.

    I think the main thing I'm thinking about is choices about children. I don't have a penis, but I was certainly not going to just leave the circumcision choice up to DH. We needed to talk it out.

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  • @fbanke42 hopefully it's not a UO that trapping someone with children because you decide to stop taking b/c is a pretty shitty move!
  • spicedicespicedice member
    edited January 2016
    @AmadorRose I loathe those type of people with a passion... They're at the same level as people who lie about being pregnant in order to trick their partner into getting them pregnant. You should never use babies/children as a way to trap someone...

    I think I really made a point about the birth control thing because my ex assumed that once I was on the pill, it meant no condoms, which it did not. I wasn't taking the pill for birth control, but period and migraine control. Plus, I wasn't at the point where I would feel like I could trust him not using one. He had cheated on someone before getting together with me, and I wasn't going to forget that. If you haven't seen some of my older UOs, he's the ex who was emotionally abusive, trying to pressure me into marrying him right out of high school, manipulative, along with some other things that I really don't want to get into because they would open a new can of worms and emotional turmoil.

    DH wanted to use condoms while I was on the pill because he was afraid that I might still get pregnant, since I know a few people who have conceived on the pill. When I switched to Implanon, he gave up on condoms because it had a higher efficiency rate than the pill (and condoms are so damn expensive).

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  • I don't know if it's a UO but I hate ice chewing. The idea of chewing on ice creeps me out and I hate listening to other people chewing on ice! It drives me insane.
  • I don't know if it's a UO but I hate ice chewing. The idea of chewing on ice creeps me out and I hate listening to other people chewing on ice! It drives me insane.

    I would rather just suck on the cubes rather than chew them... They last longer that way :D

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  • To all the ladies talking about ear gauges- you can actually shrink them back to an extent. I have double piercings, each at a 2g,and if I were to decide to take them out, I could reduce back to a "regular" piercing. Any bigger, and I could go smaller, but not quite back to "regular".
    That said, I will totally agree with the idea that piercings should be done by a professional, period. I have two girls who have asked for their ears pierced, and I only consented after they understood that they would be having a weird guy stab a needle through their ear, and that it would hurt. My piercer asked to have a conversation with each of them about how sure they were about it, and about aftercare, before he would consent to perform the procedure.

    My apparently UO: kids should be expected to finish their homework and chores before they can go out to play. The neighbor kids just called me a mean mom to my face because my kids each have a project to finish for school, and I said they couldn't go out to play before working on it. It's not the first time these kids have said something of the sort.
  • A funny thing about mostly living outside of the U.S. for years at a time is how you feel so connected working for the USG but you completely miss trends--like say anyone referring to anyone as "wifey," and adults wearing gauges. I smile remembering a colleague coming back about five years ago asking in confusion. "What's a Prius??"
  • I don't know if it's a UO but I hate ice chewing. The idea of chewing on ice creeps me out and I hate listening to other people chewing on ice! It drives me insane.
    Our work ice machine makes the little bitty round cubes like they have in the drinks at Sonic. I chew them, and it's great. I don't chew on big ones, though.
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  • @mojomama6 at least you didn't respond with "at least I love my kids...your mother obviously doesn't."

    @fbanke42 my ex is very similar to yours, except I didn't have the self-esteem to not give in and marry him. That's exactly the reason I'm so careful with the way DH and I interact with each other. Other people would probably find it dumb to tread so carefully around a spouse, but it works well for us.
  • @mojomama6 What?! That's one of the first things DH and I agreed on when it came to schooling. Homework ALWAYS comes first... DH hates how his parents handled him and schooling, so he wants to make sure our kids actually do their homework and get good grades. Yes, we can understand not being good at a subject, but if the child isn't asking for any help and not doing the homework, they'll be in trouble...

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  • My UO: GAUGES NEVER DIE! Haha but seriously... I love my gauges and don't regret one second of it. What may seem ugly to others are beautiful to some. I'm at 5/8" I want to go bigger. I've been stretching for 4 years now. Also I'm trying to be covered in beautiful tattoos :D
    Yeah, to each their own. As I mentioned my 17 year old has gauges. I don't like them, but she does. Hers are 3/4" but I think they look bigger. And she said she calls them her "buttholes" lol
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