Secrets are hard to keep

Sporty1216 · January 2016

So, a friend came over this morning. She knows we've been TTC and that I was struggling emotionally with the process and that it was taking far longer than expected. She asked this morning how I was doing with it all, and all I could muster was "we're doing okay, we're doing okay" and then I quickly changed the subject. Ack! So awkward. But the fact I didn't break down crying as I usually did when we had talked about TTC would have been a give away anyway. In any case, she's got to have strong suspicions, which will become stronger when we go to the wine and cheese party she is hosting next weekend and I don't drink or eat any of the soft cheeses. Which are my favorite. Haha. Anyone else face this sort of situation? Give me tips for being smoother!

lickastick · January 2016

So hard! For some crazy reason friends have been asking me flat out if i'm KU when they see me. I have lied lied lied. These people didn't know or were vaguely aware that we were TTC but had no reason to think anything has changed from the past 8 months. Hopefully i'll be able to tell them someday!

If I had to go to go to a wine party I would have a glass in hand maybe have a tiny sip or 2 and get DH to drink it or dump it. Depends on the crowd if you can get away with it! It's a tough place to be.

redheadbride15 · January 2016

I did a lot of fake drinking early on - holding onto one drink for the whole evening and wetting the lips/tongue without swallowing, having my husband finish my drinks, etc. And just eat the cheese - the vast majority of cheese in America is made from pasteurized milk, and even if you accidentally get unpasteurized cheese the chance of it containing Listeria is soooooo low. In fact, over 90% of Listeria outbreaks are in fruits and vegetables. Do you ever hear anyone say you shouldn't be eating those? Even my OB said not to worry about cheese.

carrieandr · January 2016

I didn't drink during the TWW when I was TTC, so I just claim to be in the TWW when I go out. If you weren't doing that before, you could say your dr recommended it. (Then she can't try to convince you to have just a little.) You could give the same excuse for the cheeses if she notices.

One of my friends asked how all that is going and I just said, "still going." She didn't seem suspicious because it makes sense that after trying for a long time I wouldn't feel like talking about it sometimes.

My mom was more difficult. I used to give her updates on where I was in my cycle, etc, when we talked and then I stopped. She started to wonder until I told her that I got acupuncture to try to boost fertility. (Actually I got it because @createillumination suggested it might help prevent miscarriage (provided there wasn't a chromosomal issue).

Sporty1216 · January 2016

You all are way more smooth than me! Why didn't I get lessons *first*?! The first time around, it was no problem, because no one knew we were TTC. Oh well. She didn't push it. I figure she figured it out and didn't want to force me to say something I didn't want to say.

And, @createillumination--that's nuts! But my MIL said she thought I was pregnant when they saw us at Christmas (and I was, but I didn't know that) and even told my FIL so. There must be something...

redheadbride15 · January 2016

I didn't tell anyone (except my sister) that we were TTC, and that made it a little easier. At the end of the day a lot of people had figured it out though because you can't get married in your late 30s without everyone assuming you're going to TTC right away. And anyone who knows me would quickly make the assumption that I want kids. My MIL apparently started prying almost immediately after the wedding, though I didn't learn that until recently. My own mother, on the other hand, was so shocked when I told her I was pregnant that she started crying. She didn't come right out and say it, but I know she had assumed it was too late for me.

@createillumination my step-mother asked me if I was pregnant when I was 4.5 weeks - she has never asked me before that and never did again. I said "no" at the time but when I told her later she asked "I just knew you were. There was a certain glow about you." I made a joke that the "glow" must have been acne.

lickastick · January 2016

They know....they all know!!! Like how cats and dogs can smell the hormones. Arrrggggghhhhhhhh

carrieandr · January 2016

The first time I got pregnant, DH said my face looked the way Barbara Walters looks through those camera lenses that soften the image a bit. He noticed it the day before I took the test.

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