Delicate question.

LizzieJ13 · January 2016

My husband needs to be tested for MFI and we have kinda put it off (2 cycles w Letrozole so far). The thing is, we are practicing Catholics and therefore will need to get a specimen from BD'ing w a perforated condom. We are both nervous about this, but we need to get it done before starting up with meds again - as I've mentioned before, we're taking a break at the moment to focus on eating well and exercising which will hopefully result in some weight loss on my part. I'm just afraid it's going to be so awkward - anyone have experience with this type of collection? Sorry if it's TMI but I figure this is somewhat of a safe space for oversharing

2015dee · January 2016

Hmmm...I have not ever done it this way, but I'm sure it's not impossible! How close is your house to the testing lab? I think you just need to have the sample there within 30 minutes. What exactly is a perforated condom? It seems to me that if it is perforated, some of the semen would come out during BDing? Could you BD using a non-perforated condom (and one without spermicide) and take the condom to the testing site? I would totally be upfront with your doctor about your religious concerns. I would expect them to be respectful! I hope someone else comes along that has experience with this. Good luck!

ShayLatrice · January 2016

Hi there!! We didn't use a preforated condom but we did use a collection condom. It really wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. The most awkward part for me was trying not to drop the condom when I was tying it and then transferring it to the RE's office.

mskeenan · January 2016

Hey there ! No advice here but just wanted to say good luck ! I didn't even know it could be done that way but makes sense . I'm catholic as well ..wish we had known this was an option !!

LizzieJ13 · January 2016

Thanks everyone! I guess I'm just looking for some motivation/understanding as it's not everyone you can talk to this about! My RE gave us a collection condom and we are supposed to poke a hole in it then bring it in to the lab in the cup. @2015dee it is intended that some of the semen come out so the act remains open to life, which is the criteria we are following. I guess enough stays in that testing can be done?

She was respectful (although, I think, a little surprised) and said that is what they do at the nearby Catholic hospital. We're about 10-15 minutes away from the lab so it should be ok, timing-wise, if we hustle. The little indignities we all have to go through! I guess it's just something we'll need to have a sense of humor about!

ShayLatrice · January 2016

That is strange... why would they risk you all losing any of the collection by poking a hole in it and exactly what did she tell you to use to poke the hole as anything un natural will contaminate the specimen?

LizzieJ13 · January 2016

@ShayLatriceWe are supposed to sterilize a needle to poke the hole. Unless there is something more high-tech I don't know about, this is the only method of collection we're able to do for religious reasons.

ShayLatrice · January 2016

Well overall it is a fairly easy way to collect just be careful when handling the condom afterwards so you lose as little of the specimen as possible. Which can be tricky because you are on a time crunch to get it to the lab.

2015dee · January 2016

@LizzieJ13 - makes much more sense, thank you. It sounds like an extra level of difficulty, but I think it's important to respect your own beliefs and not be bullied by doctors into doing it in a way that's not comfortable for you.

bsckgb7 · January 2016

We used the condom collection for all 3 IUIs. It's a little awkward because you have an appointment time at say 7:15am, so you have to plan everything so the timing works. Make sure you use approved lube also. My RE would only allow mineral oil (they provided). I would recommended using some just in case.

TMI Warning:

It's a little awkward when he takes it off, because you normal just roll it, but once he gets close to the end, he just kinda has to pull it off and make sure it stays upright (so nothing falls out). Tie it up, and place into the cup. On the drive to the clinic, make sure to keep it between your legs or in your bra to keep it warm.

Piperella · January 2016

I would definitely practice putting holes in a condom and filling it with water so you can "practice" and still be aligned with your religious beliefs. Wishing you luck!

ChristinaV2015 · January 2016

@LizzieJ13 I don't have any experience with this as I'm on an IVF cycle but I respect you and your husband for standing by your beliefs. I, too, am a Christian and spoke with one our church elders prior to starting any of our treatments as I didn't want to lose sight of who was truly in control of the making of our little miracle. I wish you the best of luck and pray for a miracle for you both!

KLake42 · January 2016

If you need a sterile needle, can you use a hypodermic needle? Your clinic should have plenty, and should let you have one.

LizzieJ13 · January 2016

Thanks everyone! @bsckgb7 that's helpful, thank you for sharing. @ChristinaV2015 Yes, it was a little awkward to have that conversation with my RE and I think she was surprised yet she was respectful. We talked about where my husband and I would be drawing the line when it came to treatment and she made notes in my file so that nurses, techs, etc. would be aware.

2015dee · January 2016

@LizzieJ13 - just out of curiosity, where is your "line?" I've heard that some religious perspectives don't believe in freezing embryos because that stops the forward progression of life, but I am not sure if I have heard of any that are outright against IVF, but that's probably just my ignorance about other worldviews.

LizzieJ13 · January 2016

@2015dee Thank you for asking. We will not be pursuing IUI or IVF. Basically, our treatments will be limited to those that allow conception to occur via intercourse.

2015dee · January 2016

@LizzieJ13 - that makes sense. Thank you for sharing!

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