Family doesn't like name you've chosen?

littleduck730 · January 2016

Does anyone else have family members who dislike the name you have chosen for your baby? It took me forever to settle on a name. And once I finally did, about a week ago, I told my family (my parents and my little sister) and they are like "What... Why!?" I tell myself it is my decision, he is my baby! And that I shouldn't care too much about their opinions but I can't help but find my decision tainted now by what they think. Ugh! Been second guessing myself. Anyone in the same boat? My due date is next week (20th).

littleduck730 · January 2016

Incase you are curious... I had decided on the name Atlas. I want a unique name.

Karenin · January 2016

I've had friends go through this and usually what happens is once the baby is here and everyone gets used to the name, the family associates the name they originally didn't like with a child they now adore, so they stop hating the name. I will say that while you should choose any name you want, a name like Atlas, being uncommon, is probably going to get strong reactions in general, so just be prepared that while some people will love it, some will also really dislike it. That's the risk when you go outside the top 100 names in many cases. It's not a bad thing, you just need to be ok with it.

jeanbug12 · January 2016

You are going to get mixed reactions to any name. Choose one you love and don't worry about what others say, your mom amd sister will like the name more when it is attached to your sweet baby. I think unique names tend to get a bit more negative reactions just because people aren't used to hearing them.

littleduck730 · January 2016

I figure once he is born, the name will grow on them!

maddisonwallace · January 2016

We decided on Bates. My family HATES it and they've been total jerks about it. But I love it and my husband loves it. So I basically told them they can suck it. Assuming they've all been able to have kids, they've all had their chance to do the parent thing and name their own baby. You are an adult. You are a mother. This is your choice. If they try and pull the "but he'll get bullied!!" Card, guess what. Kids are mean and they don't care what your name is. They will find something to make fun of and if they can't find something they will make it up. My family went so far as saying that they came up with their own names (real names, not nicknames) that they like better and will call him instead of Bates. So I told them that until they can agree to call him by his real name, then they can plan on not seein him. I will not have my kid being raised around people telling him negative things about himself before other kids even have the chance to. I will raise my son to be poised and handle bullying. And his first bullies will not be his own family.

ETA, after I told them all of that, everyone has miraculously fallen in love with his name and dropped it because they realized my husband and I could give two shits about what THEY like for MY child. Parent decision #1? Check.

littleduck730 · January 2016

maddisonwallace said:
We decided on Bates. My family HATES it and they've been total jerks about it. But I love it and my husband loves it. So I basically told them they can suck it. Assuming they've all been able to have kids, they've all had their chance to do the parent thing and name their own baby. You are an adult. You are a mother. This is your choice. If they try and pull the "but he'll get bullied!!" Card, guess what. Kids are mean and they don't care what your name is. They will find something to make fun of and if they can't find something they will make it up. My family went so far as saying that they came up with their own names (real names, not nicknames) that they like better and will call him instead of Bates. So I told them that until they can agree to call him by his real name, then they can plan on not seein him. I will not have my kid being raised around people telling him negative things about himself before other kids even have the chance to. I will raise my son to be poised and handle bullying. And his first bullies will not be his own family.

ETA, after I told them all of that, everyone has miraculously fallen in love with his name and dropped it because they realized my husband and I could give two shits about what THEY like for MY child. Parent decision #1? Check.

Haha that's awesome! I personally like Bates! I'm sure my family will get over it too once it clicks that it is my choice and not theirs.

Monilee1017 · January 2016

When you pick a name that is not normal some people aren't going to like it. Your family saying something may not be nice but at least you get to know what others might think of the name. Also names don't always grow on people once the baby is born. I know many babies with what I think to be stupid names and my family and I still think they are stupid years later.

Monilee1017 · January 2016

Oh the names that I know and think are stupid are princess and captain. Names that have grown on me are boy names in girls.

maddisonwallace · January 2016

littleduck730 said:

maddisonwallace said:
We decided on Bates. My family HATES it and they've been total jerks about it. But I love it and my husband loves it. So I basically told them they can suck it. Assuming they've all been able to have kids, they've all had their chance to do the parent thing and name their own baby. You are an adult. You are a mother. This is your choice. If they try and pull the "but he'll get bullied!!" Card, guess what. Kids are mean and they don't care what your name is. They will find something to make fun of and if they can't find something they will make it up. My family went so far as saying that they came up with their own names (real names, not nicknames) that they like better and will call him instead of Bates. So I told them that until they can agree to call him by his real name, then they can plan on not seein him. I will not have my kid being raised around people telling him negative things about himself before other kids even have the chance to. I will raise my son to be poised and handle bullying. And his first bullies will not be his own family.

ETA, after I told them all of that, everyone has miraculously fallen in love with his name and dropped it because they realized my husband and I could give two shits about what THEY like for MY child. Parent decision #1? Check.
Haha that's awesome! I personally like Bates! I'm sure my family will get over it too once it clicks that it is my choice and not theirs.

I'm sure they will! Especially like others said about being in the baby zone and totally loving your little one. But as far as friends and strangers go, who gives a flip. They can make like Elsa and let it goooooooo

katiedid0907 · January 2016

DH and I both loved the name Callum. We told some people in our family and while they weren't rude about it they didn't say anything. Or said something like "oh wow that's different..." since we weren't set on it anyway we are now rethinking it. I have a very common last name so I wanted something slightly different but not too weird.

maddisonwallace · January 2016

@katiedid0907 I like that name! I don't think it's super out there. It sounds classy to me.

jordans_wife · January 2016

This is the reason we don't tell anyone our names. Early on we found that my family poo-pooed almost all the names we liked. That was yrs ago with our first born. So then we decided to keep them a secret bc they were ruining all the names we liked. Now here we are on our 3rd baby and it's worked really well bc once the baby's born and you've already named it it's too late for them to help "change" it for you.

Mommyduclos · January 2016

I went through this and I think we chose a perfectly nice name- Henry. Anyways first I had to battle the "we don't like it" then a couple family members said they would pronounce it wrong- the French version Henri (sounds like awn-ree) which made me mad too- you can't just call a kid something else. I think we have all moved on though and everyone is happy. I know my family and they would have given me trouble no matter when I told them so I decided to get it over with and now everyone knows it as fact so that's that.

maureenmce · January 2016

People are going to always have an opinion. We haven't decided on a name yet (it's between two options, Tess or Rose) and eeeeeeverybody in our inner circle has a strong opinion. My best friend is locked in on Tess because that was almost her name when she was born, so she constantly poo poos the Rose option. A bunch of people prefer Tessa to Tess and ask why we don't just name her that. (My husband hates Tessa, but loves Tess - I have no idea why, but because of that we aren't doing Tessa.) My boss had Rose set aside for her daughter's name, but only had boys, so she loves it and therefore tries to disparage Tess as a name for a "mean girl." Lol. And my mother isn't happy with either option because neither one is a family name from her side of the family.

So! Long story short, everyone has an opinion, and a reason for that opinion, but it's your kid, your naming opportunity, so try to brush it off.

If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't have told anyone the options at all before LO was born! People are much less likely to voice a negative opinion on a name once it's been announced and is attached to a sweet little baby. Anyway, good luck!

littleduck730 · January 2016

katiedid0907 said:
DH and I both loved the name Callum. We told some people in our family and while they weren't rude about it they didn't say anything. Or said something like "oh wow that's different..." since we weren't set on it anyway we are now rethinking it. I have a very common last name so I wanted something slightly different but not too weird.

I love Callum too! That was a name on my list of choices I had written out actually!

JNGettinMarried · January 2016

We had first decided on Maeve, but were told it is a "sad sack" name. Then we moved on to Holly, but that's apparently a "dog name". I'm over it. This isn't supposed to be this difficult, and I have zero F's left to give, so I'm naming her whatever I want and they'll love her just the same!

lolobellrn · January 2016

I love the name selection!! When my niece was born the name my sister had picked out was so out there and different that we all didn't like it and tried desperately to make her change her mind! They had chosen Moira pronounced (moy-rah) and at first I couldn't even say the name without cringing, but after meeting my niece and seeing her grow the name doesn't bother me anymore and I could not imagine her with any other name!
When we picked a name for our little girl (Aubrey) my sister didn't really like it and kept telling me that it was so popular and we should choose something different. That annoyed me but I can understand how she felt when we didn't approve of the name she and her husband loved. So I say do what you want because it's your child and your choice!

alisong10 · January 2016

I feel your pain. Our families don't like our name and let us know they don't think it's " a real name " and that it will be a disadvantage. Our name is Zara. It's very much a real name - a real name that's been around for centuries. It's just not they're style or normal enough for them to be comfortable. Fam says they'll call her "ZZ Top" ( like the musician with the full Manchu beard).

Name trends are different these days, unique is not quite as shunned as it once was. Atlas is a cool name, it's different , it's got neat historical value- Atlas was a Titan, a Greek god, he litteraly carried the weight of the world on his back. Kinda poetic and nice. The name will grow on some people, not others. If you like it embrace it and screw what they think.

OrangeFox · January 2016

last go around we told people names we were thinking about and I got so tired of the reactions that we stopped. DH and I used a short list of names that we would discuss with friends and family. We'd always say that we didn't know for sure but a few names we are thinking about/like are... the truth was they were names we both liked but knew that we weren't using.

And then when DS was born we had two or three names left on the list that we had never mentioned to anyone. We picked one after he was born. (we were team green so we had a couple girl and a couple boy names).

One of the things that really bothered me was that EVERY name I had my BIL would come up with the nickname that he was going to use instead of the name. I loved Henry and he instantly said he was going to call him Hank. We ended up using Malachi and the second day he was born BIL came over and said, "so I decided Mack will be his nickname." It irritated the hell out of me. He still refers to my son as Mack most of the time. However without ANY prompting, DS will correct him every time. "My name is Malachi" is says back to him. It makes me happy even though I try not to react to it.

We haven't told anyone the few names left on our short list this time either. And I don't plan on it until baby has been named.

MeghaJake · January 2016

jordans_wife said:
This is the reason we don't tell anyone our names. Early on we found that my family poo-pooed almost all the names we liked. That was yrs ago with our first born. So then we decided to keep them a secret bc they were ruining all the names we liked. Now here we are on our 3rd baby and it's worked really well bc once the baby's born and you've already named it it's too late for them to help "change" it for you.

Yep we don't tell anyone our names because people feel free to give their opinions before the baby is born. But we have never had anyone say anything bad about our name choices once the baby is born. My mom and others hated the first name we had picked out for our first daughter. I couldn't stick with that name once I knew my mom hated it. So we came up with another name and didn't tell anyone what it was so it couldn't become tainted.

Knottie84607381 · January 2016

I know how you feel. I get the same reaction from every person I tell. "What?? You can't seriously name her that!" Or "that name needs to go" and its very discouraging for me. We aren't changing it because its a special name to husband, but its hard for me to love it or imagine using it when I'm getting these reactions, so I've stopped discussing it with anyone else. Like previously stated, once she comes, they will get over it and no one will imagine calling her anything else.

mekaswifestyle · January 2016

Lol my first bones name is jaccoby and my pap can't say it so he called him *drum roll* George ! I lol every time. We call him obi because that is how he says it. My grandmother also could never say my name so she called me by my middle name Paige. Now everyone calls me Kayla or meka no where near how my name is supposed to be pronounced. Mikalea (Mike-uh-lay) lol so I know the struggle

Grace213 · January 2016

My mom was like this for a long time. We chose the name Bennett. For weeks she would tell me she didn't like it and ask if we were still planning on using it or suggesting new names (that were suuuuuuuper popular like Liam- while it is a nice name, NMS). At one point she asked if we were using a nickname to shorten it, like Ben, so she could call him something else. I told her no, that we would like to use his full name for as long as we can. And DH isnt a fan of just Ben so we would be calling him by his full name. She told me flat out that she would only call him Ben cuz she hated the name we picked...

But, even after all that drama she now calls him Bennett. I'm really glad she came around.

MssyMmmy · January 2016

katiedid0907 said:
DH and I both loved the name Callum. We told some people in our family and while they weren't rude about it they didn't say anything. Or said something like "oh wow that's different..." since we weren't set on it anyway we are now rethinking it. I have a very common last name so I wanted something slightly different but not too weird.

i told my family I liked the name Callum back in July and no one liked it. Even my mom who likes all my picks was like meh it's not great. My husband and I decided to keep our final decision a secret. Well two weeks ago we welcomed Callum Alexander into our family and now they all love the name. I wish I never mentioned it and just waited. I still love his name and everyone else does now too.

SummerOH · January 2016

We haven't shared our name because of this. People will always have something to say. My sister picked two top 20 names for her boys and people snarked about it. My kids have unusual (not really weird, just not common) names and people snark about it. My MIL will HATE the name we've picked, so we just haven't shared it. They got their chance to name their kids, now it's yours. And honestly, there are so many unique names now that being picked on probably won't happen.

BarrettJ89 · January 2016

DS's name is Cohen and SO's family hated it. SO was adopted into an Arab family and little to my knowledge, "Cohen" is a Jewish name. Personally, I couldn't care less of the origin of a name. Apparently, it means "high priest." But nobody goes around calling him High Priest! We all call him by his name! They've come around for the most part, and if they haven't, I don't care.
Also, in the middle eastern culture, every child would have the father's first name as a middle name (even if it's a girl). Not going to happen.
New baby's name is Brynlee Harper. I've had a lot of the "how do you spell that?" and the "oh... that's uhhh nice" type comments. Again, these are my children and I don't care what others think, family or not.

62406 · January 2016

BarrettJ89 said:
DS's name is Cohen and SO's family hated it. SO was adopted into an Arab family and little to my knowledge, "Cohen" is a Jewish name. Personally, I couldn't care less of the origin of a name. Apparently, it means "high priest." But nobody goes around calling him High Priest! We all call him by his name! They've come around for the most part, and if they haven't, I don't care.
Also, in the middle eastern culture, every child would have the father's first name as a middle name (even if it's a girl). Not going to happen.
New baby's name is Brynlee Harper. I've had a lot of the "how do you spell that?" and the "oh... that's uhhh nice" type comments. Again, these are my children and I don't care what others think, family or not.

I love the name!

juneandboo · January 2016

We're keeping our name secret for this very reason. It's so lame that people feel entitled to share their opinion on the NAME OF YOUR CHILD. Ugh. I feel your pain

amargaret24 · January 2016

We decided on the name Cassius Jules (no, not Cassius for Cassius Clay and Jules for my late mother, Julie). Anyways, I've literally said the name OUT LOUD to my family members pronouncing it "Cass-ee-us" - which we like a lot because I love Cass for short, my fiance loves Caz, and I like the option of CJ! Well.... my dad and his girlfriend literally say "Cash-us" every time. And then get all confused and act like true a**holes pretending they don't understand the name. Like - what don't you get. Is the name THAT weird?! WTF people.

maddisonwallace · January 2016

amargaret24 said:
We decided on the name Cassius Jules (no, not Cassius for Cassius Clay and Jules for my late mother, Julie). Anyways, I've literally said the name OUT LOUD to my family members pronouncing it "Cass-ee-us" - which we like a lot because I love Cass for short, my fiance loves Caz, and I like the option of CJ! Well.... my dad and his girlfriend literally say "Cash-us" every time. And then get all confused and act like true a**holes pretending they don't understand the name. Like - what don't you get. Is the name THAT weird?! WTF people.

I have never heard of that name and read it the way you intended it before I read the read of the post... Definitely not hard.

amargaret24 · January 2016

maddisonwallace said:

We decided on the name Cassius Jules (no, not Cassius for Cassius Clay and Jules for my late mother, Julie). Anyways, I've literally said the name OUT LOUD to my family members pronouncing it "Cass-ee-us" - which we like a lot because I love Cass for short, my fiance loves Caz, and I like the option of CJ! Well.... my dad and his girlfriend literally say "Cash-us" every time. And then get all confused and act like true a**holes pretending they don't understand the name. Like - what don't you get. Is the name THAT weird?! WTF people.
I have never heard of that name and read it the way you intended it before I read the read of the post... Definitely not hard.

People are so weird. As a note, Cassius Clay is Muhammed Ali's real name. So I've received some annoying comments like "Yeah!! Muhammad Ali!!!" I'm like......not really..

jeanbug12 · January 2016

amargaret24 said:

maddisonwallace said:

amargaret24 said:
We decided on the name Cassius Jules (no, not Cassius for Cassius Clay and Jules for my late mother, Julie). Anyways, I've literally said the name OUT LOUD to my family members pronouncing it "Cass-ee-us" - which we like a lot because I love Cass for short, my fiance loves Caz, and I like the option of CJ! Well.... my dad and his girlfriend literally say "Cash-us" every time. And then get all confused and act like true a**holes pretending they don't understand the name. Like - what don't you get. Is the name THAT weird?! WTF people.
I have never heard of that name and read it the way you intended it before I read the read of the post... Definitely not hard.

People are so weird. As a note, Cassius Clay is Muhammed Ali's real name. So I've received some annoying comments like "Yeah!! Muhammad Ali!!!" I'm like......not really..

I think Cassius is a great name! But, I bet you and your son will deal with mispronunciations his whole life. I have only ever heard is pronounced cash-us (and only know it form Cassius Clay/Ali and Cassius Clay 1800's politician) so that is how I would have said it. You will probably hear a lot of Ali references too, but your sons generation probably won't know as much about him so he probably won't have to deal with that much!

anightintunisia · January 2016

My grandma is VERY old school and she doesn't like "new" names. My cousin named her daughter Makayla which was actually one of my baby names and my grandma didn't like it. Who cares who doesn't like YOUR baby name. This is your baby not your family to decide love!

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