First AF, is it time?

Aquarius923 · January 2016

Hi everyone,

I am now 1 month out from my stillbirth at 23 weeks. AF started yesterday and I am now finding myself faced with a decision. Do we ttc this cycle? My doctor did not give me a time frame, she is very relaxed.

The stillbirth was likely caused by a deficiency in wharton jelly in 2 spots on the umbilical cord. I feel like I am in a good place mentally considering I am just 1 month out.

Did your doctor's give a time frame and explain WHY? I don't do well with doctors telling me something but not explaining the why.

chloe97 · January 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss!

I had a D&C at 10 weeks, 1 dr asked me to wait 2 cycles, the other only said 1. Because of other issues possibly related to the D&C that I'm having, I may wait 2 or more cycles. I have to talk I the doctor Monday.

I had a friend who had a stillbirth at 24 weeks and her doctor asked her to wait 3 cycles- they got pregnant on their first try and now have a very healthy 3 year old.

Since you were further along than I was, I'm not sure the answer to your question about why. My doctors wanted me to wait for the uterus to heal, but there may be other reasons to wait longer for a stillbirth at 23 weeks.

I will say, on an aside, that my potential physical setbacks (I had a hemometra or blocked blood in my uterus because of potential scarring at the cervix) have led me to have emotional setbacks and extreme anxiety. Let's just say Dr Google has NOT been my friend this week. H and I are questioning if we should try this cycle even if we get the okay, b/c I've been a wreck this week. All this is to say that I'd think about your emotional healing as well as whatever the doctor says.

Good luck!!

Aquarius923 · January 2016

I'm sorry for your loss as well.

I did have to have a d&c immediately following birth but had an ultrasound 5 days later that looked good.

I have an appointment with MFM soon, I'll ask then. My ob did say studies from the 80s encouraged women to wait so the body could build up vitamins and minerals, but she felt I was healthy so that wasn't a worry. So hard to know!

Kurtni · January 2016

Did you ask why?

My doctor did not give me a waiting period and said it was an emotional concern more than physical. I had a stillbirth at 25 weeks due to a cord accident. I planned on waiting at least until what would have been my daughter's due date in March before I think about another pregnancy. Some days I want to try again sooner and some days its too much to think about.

Aquarius923 · January 2016

I know exactly what you mean. I didn't expect my period to return so soon. I figured I would have more time to think about it.

I trust my ob, but then all the reading I did said I should wait 3-6 months. So much to consider.

dpjennifer · January 2016

I'd read a lot of places that it said to wait at least 3 months after a D&C. But, when I talked to my doctor about it (early MC around 8 1/2 weeks), she said that as long as you are healthy with no complications from procedure that newer research shows that waiting the 3 months that used to be recommended versus the 1 month (til after your first AF) hasn't shown to be more beneficial. So, sounds like research on the subject is changing?

catiecatp · January 2016

Research on this type of subject would almost have to be correlational - in theory you could assign women to different groups where each group starts trying after 'x' number of months. But as we know, our bodies can seem to have a timeline of their own which would throw a monkey wrench in random assignment to groups. And someone who gets pregnant after 4 months after a loss and has been trying for 4 months may be different in important ways than someone who gets pregnant 4 months after a loss and has been trying for 1 month. Long story short - correlation doesn't equal causation. There are too many extraneous (uncontrolled) variables in that type of research to say that waiting (or not waiting) causes better/worse outcomes - all we can say is that they may (or may not) be related.

Cubslove12 · January 2016

My doctor told me to wait for 1 AF after my D&C. He said it was dangerous before my first AF, after that he said to start trying right away. He did say there's only a 20% chance getting pregnant the first time trying after the AF.

alanna3622 · January 2016

@Aquarius923 I am so very sorry for your loss, more sorry than I can say.

There were some good explanations provided by @PrimRoseMama on a similar thread in TTGP... She pointed out that a pregnancy loss is a major trauma and your uterus needs to literally heal. The baby was attached to your uterine wall and it needs to actually heal. Hence the need to avoid introducing bacteria of any kind.

Everyone will have a story about someone who got pregnant right away because those stories are so easy to share far and wide. If you have another loss, would you be able to handle the self-questioning? A dear friend had a 19w loss, conceived 7 weeks later, and then had a second loss. It just about did her in.

Not that I am telling you what you should or shouldn't so. Just giving you some things to consider.

I am struggling with wanting to TTC myself, even though it is too early for DH and I. It makes it worse that there are all of these rules and restrictions and commandments everywhere, without explanations why.

Kay6519 · January 2016

I'm sorry for your loss. With my last MC at 17 weeks due to a chromosomal anomaly, we were advised to hold off TTC for 3-6 months. But that was also our 3rd MC, and the break was also to allow my cycles / hormones to level back out since everything had been very irregular. I would check with your doctor if they recommend a specific waiting period. Internet strangers can share their experiences, but your doctor will be able to recommend what is best for you.

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