Feeling Deffeated — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Feeling Deffeated

Hello everyone
I just wanted to start a discussion for all those moms that might be feeling overwhelmed or a little stressed. My son was due January 6th and decided to make his debut October 27th. We spent 6 weeks in NICU. While he was in there I felt as all I could contribute was my time and brestmilk. I began to produce wayyy more milk than my son was intaking so my boyfriend told me to stop pumping at night to get some extra sleep. I was going to pick up once we knew when our son was going to be coming home. nearing the end of his stay at NICU we were not informed that he was going to becoming home until the day before. I was only producing 20-40mls per pump by then and was not prepared for baby to come home. But from once I had him till then nothing was as we planned.
Once he came home I had plenty of milk in the freezer but seemed as though I could not produce more that 20-40 mls. I began to become frustrated and am still struggling with my milk supply. It's been so hard trying to accommodate even one good feed for my son. I am supplementing formula; and I am okay with this but I am also sad that I cannot give my son something I know I can produce so much of.
On top of this I keep worrying about daily things as if I am doing all I can for him, offering him the proper things, giving him a chance to self sooth, am I doing what I should, should I do more, am I a good mom?
My boyfriend has been very supportive and behind me 100% but I just want to have some discussion with other moms seeing if they are worrying or possibly wondering anything like this.

Re: Feeling Deffeated

  • I think you have the worries of any mom. I'm surprised 20-40 mls isn't enough for him. Our preemie hardly ate anything at first! An ounce was about it. 45 mls on a "good" feed.

    You might get additional tips in the preemie forum. Preemies are nothing like any other baby. They often CAN'T self soothe because of sensory issues. Some of which you won't realize until later that it is sensory processing disorder! Our preemie had to be rocked to sleep. Had reflux and slept in swing or rock n play. Craved motion & a tight swaddle.

    Remember to subtract 6 weeks from his age. You only have a 4 week old. Don't expect too much from him!
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  • You have every right to feel frustrated and overwhelmed at times. No parent should ever have to go through what NICU parents do. DS was late preterm and didn't require any NICU time, but he had many "minor" health issues. Very slow weight gain from not eating much combined with very bad reflux. I remember calling my mom in tears nearly every day saying I couldn't handle it...I felt like such a failure. It does get better though, I promise. DS is now a little over 2 years old. Once his reflux was finally diagnosed and he was put on Prevacid, things got a lot better. Like PP said, don't forget to adjust your LO's age to account for their prematurity.
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  • How many weeks PP are you? I had severe anxiety after my second child was born and actually had to go talk to someone because I felt like I was going crazy. I eventually got on meds which saved my sanity. With that being said, you are definitely not alone. So many women go through the exact same thing you are (especially the BF'ing struggles) but lots of us don't want to talk about it. It's normal to worry and to stress after having a baby but you have to be the one to determine if it's too much to handle alone.

    Hang in there. It gets better. If it doesn't, then talk to someone. Reach out to your PCP or OB for a referral.

  • Thanks ladies!! He just went through a huge growthspurt and was intaking 120mls. He is up to his gestational age development wise. But it's been so hard to keep up now that he eats 100-120 each feed. He is now 10 weeks old and has been doing amazing. He got to come home just before Christmas and I think the holidays on top of having him home has added more stress than needed. I am so excited to get back to our routine and keep working on bringing in my milk. Is there anything you ladies would suggest that helps bring your milk in? I'm just hoping the feelings of being overwhelmed will pass now the holidays and business is over as well
  • First of all, what everyone else said! Both of my girls were/are preemies. Even if it seems that they are doing well, it is a different kind of stress! If you are unable to get over your feelings of frustration and anxiety, please do talk to a medical professional!

    As for ways to help your milk- I'd reccomend the book Making More Milk. https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/007159857X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452040203&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=making+more+milk
    It has a lot of great info! But as long as your little one is fed, you are doing great!!
  • Your baby is more efficient than a pump so I'd recommend bringing him to the breast as much as possible. Milk works on a positive feedback loop so the more he nurses the more milk you make!
  • @ChenilleSemple I just started power pumping this week to increase my supply and saw almost immediate results. I'm up from 3oz per session to 5oz.
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