Ya'll do what you want, but a similar thread has been started and abandoned several times (most recently titled "Waiting to Do Something") because everyone realized it was redundant and came off as trying to be special. I understand your point in starting it and that it does suck to have to hang out in one place for so long, but the women in those threads are incredibly supportive regardless of your CD/DPO or what is happening that it unusual, so IMHO, why not hang out there.
You know.... you can stop participating in TWW threads for a while if you know you are out but don't want to move to WTO.... That's what I do. I'm not charting this month so I haven't participated in the WTO/TWW threads, still plenty to participate in and I lurk them from time to time. It's not a requirement that you post daily.
So, if you are WTO here (long cycle or whatever reason ), but then ovulate do you move to the TWW? Or do you stay here, making this a completely different WTO/TWW thread. If you finish out your TWW here, do you move to WTO? Are BFP welcome here? Since one of the reasons stated for leaving the TWW is the BFP are draining. Even if you test at 14dpo and end up with a bfn you can still end up pregnant on 16dpo. If someone only ever posted here, ended up with a BFP and then posted in the TWW about their BFP, I'd consider it a drive by.
I'm all for doing thing's that help people, but if it becomes unnecessarily complicated and it clogs the board with yet another acronym daily thread that could seriously turn noobies away and splinter the group off more then it is.
That was the concern that was brought up with the Waiting to do something threads and this one. It's not people being mean and wagging their fingers, it's just wanting to keep everything in the least amount of threads possible so nothing is missed. It's already pretty difficult to keep up with the WTO/TWW threads, I wouldn't keep up with this one, nor would I post here (this discussion excluded).
It's not a bad thing to discuss how the boards work amongst ourselves, just like when we determined what we TW on (that went very smoothly), that doesn't make the people asking for clarification mean or negative. It's a discussion, and we welcome discussion.
Personally I think it's a good place for people to go if they are unsure of where they are in their cycle. For example, I posted here yesterday because I couldn't decide if I had actually ovulated, but then got a high temp this morning so I moved over to TWW.
The posts were getting negative and condescending. If you don't understand the need for this thread, then don't participate. It's that simple. I, on the other hand, have trouble participating in the TWW after I have had several BFN. My cycles are so long sometimes, that it seems hopeless to participate in the TWW when I'm waiting for AF and it seems hopeless when I have no idea how long it is going to be before AF does show up. Then I'm not sure how to participate in WTO because I'm NOT WTO, I'm waiting for AF to show up so that I can move on. If that doesn't make sense to you, I'm sorry. But for many of us, this thread makes perfect sense.
I guess I'm confused (and not being negative or condescending) because there is a Chart Stalk option in both WTO and TWW where other members can help you make interpretations of your cycle.
I did look at your chart, by the way. I'm inclined to think that you ovulated later than FF predicted based off your pre-O temps. It looks like you stopped checking CM after your proposed O date. Otherwise, I do see a clear thermal shift.
I didn't enter CM after proposed O because there wasn't any. I just didn't put that it was dry.
Fertility Friend can be wrong, and since I can't get in to see my doctor for an ultrasound, I don't feel right on either board. Sometimes people just need to vent, and seeing all of the BFPs in the TWW can be frustrating when you are out for the month. The WTO thread doesn't seem like the right fit either. I'm just trying to get through yet another disappointing month.
I get it. You and @letyourheartbeyourguidedon't understand. I really get it. I'm not angry, or trying to be condescending either, but I don't feel right on the TWW thread and I didn't feel right on the WTO board because AF still hasn't shown up. I went from having very regular cycles, to suddenly not have any idea what was going on. This is a weird point in my cycles. It's important for people who have irregular and/or long cycles to have a place to go to, and the women who have had MCs or CPs who are waiting to get back in the game. (I know there is a Benched thread.) I don't know what I can say to help you better understand.
Personally I think it's a good place for people to go if they are unsure of where they are in their cycle. For example, I posted here yesterday because I couldn't decide if I had actually ovulated, but then got a high temp this morning so I moved over to TWW.
Just my 2 cents.
But a NTNP (edit: or for some other reason not charting) thread is different than a my-cycles-are-long-and-I'm-bored-of-the-WTO thread.
TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow
@ShellinLove - Because we know we are not pregnant, but we can't move on to the WTO board. Some of us have been saying how we didn't know where we belonged. We didn't get our BFPs, but we weren't quite to AF yet. There are also quite a few women on here who have longer cycles who didn't know where to go. This is a perfect medium for people who aren't quite sure. No one is required to participate, and if you don't want to, then just stick with the WTO and TWW boards. Not a big deal. I just know, for myself, I am having an unusually long cycle this time and I had my BFN, but wasn't really up to participating in the TWW thread, but still wanted to be active on the TTC boards.
I mean...even if you KNOW you're not pregnant, you're still in the TWW. You can commiserate with others about your poor timing or whatever.
If you have long cycles, then you are ultimately WTO.
I guess I just don't see the need to further remove yourself from the bigger scope of the board.
You're definitely not wrong with this. And neither is @letyourheartbeyourguide. I just think, based off what I've seen repeatedly expressed by various people in WTO/TWW that sometimes some of the ladies just wish they had another daily thread they could go to for a couple of days (or weeks or whatever).
I guess I look at it less as a "Technically you're WTO so if you're going to participate it has to be in the WTO thread. Technically you're in the TWW if you're going to participate it has to be the the TWW thread. Don't like it? Don't participate till you do. Don't be a spechual snowflake." and more like "Technically you're WTO and you want to participate but being in the WTO thread makes you uncomfortable. That's fine. Here is another option." "Technically you're in the TWW but that thread makes you uncomfortable. That's fine. Here is another option."
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for not coddling ladies who think they're spechual snowflakes with a gurgling uterus. Or who have "pregnancy symptoms" at 2DPO. Or who are totes 25 days late on their period and couldn't possibly simply have ovulated later than normal or something reasonable.
I'm all for focusing on science and logic. I agree that no matter how long, or short, your cycle is that you're always either WTO or in the TWW, technically. I'm not saying that we need another thread for ladies who somehow, inexplicably, have found another stage of the menstrual cycle that isn't the follicular phase (WTO) or the luteal phase (TWW) or the menstrual (WTO). I'm just saying that maybe it is worth it to create a space for ladies who want to be active but just aren't comfortable in either of those daily threads at the moment.
I realize that there have been past versions of this and that they never ended up going over that well. And I think this type thread probably dies a natural death as people start to feel more comfortable with WTO/TWW or start to feel less comfortable placing themselves in limbo.
Also, @Lulucooks I liked your response. Pretty much how I feel about the whole thing is what you said:
I'm all for doing thing's that help people, but if it becomes
unnecessarily complicated and it clogs the board with yet another
acronym daily thread that could seriously turn noobies away and splinter
the group off more then it is.
I definitely don't want to be causing more harm to the community in my efforts to help. I wanted to create something to help the ladies who kept saying they wished there was a limbo thread. I certainly never meant to create division, drama, or harm to the community. If the community decides that it's best to stick with WTO/TWW or don't participate in a daily then I will certainly abide by that decision.
Me: 28 Husband: 31 TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016 Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Personally I think it's a good place for people to go if they are unsure of where they are in their cycle. For example, I posted here yesterday because I couldn't decide if I had actually ovulated, but then got a high temp this morning so I moved over to TWW.
Just my 2 cents.
First, I'm so sorry there are so many here who are in limbo or feeling like you're in limbo. It just sucks. But I did want to echo what some of the other ladies have said about the WTO/TWW threads. I just came off of a 56-day cycle/O on CD42 and whether I was WTO or TWW was occasionally changing day to day. Just wanted to say I've always felt welcome and supported with whatever was going on and jumping between the two threads. I just ranted a lot and felt like a broken record most days but it was awesome occasionally finding out that other ladies were giving me a holla because they've gone through something similar. And I could still answer questions, cheer on O's and BFPs, etc.
Second, I completely disagree @DumbledoresArmy. Honestly if I'm not sure I O'd, I feel comfortable both saying it and reading it from others on either board. Integral parts of WTO and TWW are the limbo days--waiting for CHs, anovulatory, BFN and temp drop but I'm not out til I'm out. I totally understand not feeling like you exactly fit in, but this kind of thinking adds muddy (self-applied) rules to the real meat and potatoes of the board.
me . early 30's | h . mid 30's | < 3 . 2013
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016 | 6w2d
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016 BFP! . jan 2017 DD . oct 2017
At any point, no matter how short or long your cycles are, you're either waiting to ovulate (to try and get pregnant) or you're waiting to see if you're pregnant. I understood the benched/TTA check-in because then you're not trying to get pregnant. But otherwise, WTO and TWW pretty much cover it, no SSing required.
I would totally post on benched/TTA if it was more frequent. I don't feel involved when I only post there because it's not daily.
Personally I think it's a good place for people to go if they are unsure of where they are in their cycle. For example, I posted here yesterday because I couldn't decide if I had actually ovulated, but then got a high temp this morning so I moved over to TWW.
Just my 2 cents.
Obviously a number of ladies feel that there is a need for this type of thread, since it has been attempted at least one other time in the past as well. I don't typically have long and/or confusing cycles, so I don't really have an opinion on that. But I don't think the situation above warrants a post in a totally separate thread. It's pretty much a given for everyone that there will be a day or two each each cycle where you aren't 100% sure you ovulated and you are waiting for another high temp or something. I really don't see the need to come to a totally different check-in for that type of thing. People post that exact thing in WTO all the time.
DS: June 2008 Married: July 2015 BFP: 5/20/16 | EDD: 1/28/17 | Twin boys born 1/16/17
OK fine, whatever. If it really upsets y'all to have this thread, I won't post here again.
This is how I currently feel about this whole thing.
That gif made me laugh. I hope you don't leave just because two people decided to question it. I agree with you, this is a good idea for now.
@letyourheartbeyourguideand @ShellinLove- I don't think @NamelessAriaor I were trying to be special snowflakes who are symptom spotting. I just thought it was a good idea for those of us at a tough point in our cycles where the WTO/TWW threads didn't make sense for us, or those of us who have unusually long cycles.
I don't even know what else to add. It was supposed to be positive and something we thought would help others, and now it's become the opposite. I don't understand the negativity and I don't think I ever will. This simply makes me sad.
OK fine, whatever. If it really upsets y'all to have this thread, I won't post here again.
This is how I currently feel about this whole thing.
That gif made me laugh. I hope you don't leave just because two people decided to question it. I agree with you, this is a good idea for now.
@letyourheartbeyourguideand @ShellinLove- I don't think @NamelessAriaor I were trying to be special snowflakes who are symptom spotting. I just thought it was a good idea for those of us at a tough point in our cycles where the WTO/TWW threads didn't make sense for us, or those of us who have unusually long cycles.
I don't even know what else to add. It was supposed to be positive and something we thought would help others, and now it's become the opposite. I don't understand the negativity and I don't think I ever will. This simply makes me sad.
---qbf---
There isn't any negativity Discussion and not agreeing =/= negativity Discussion is great, it's better when not everyone is agreeing to the same idea. Otherwise what's the point?
I also don't really get this and I do have longer and irregular cycles. I have felt frustrated, of course, but not weird/uncomfortable and definitely not unwelcome in WTO, but my feelings don't have bearing on how others might feel with their particular situations. I have commiserated with others with long and irregular cycles and I have received plenty of sympathetic comments from those that have short and regular cycles. I do think there is an advantage to keeping the threads more consolidated because someone in WTO or TWW may have had similar experiences as you previously even if they are not currently "in limbo" and could have valuable insight that you could miss out on. That said, if there are enough people that feel the need for it, then by all means.
@BerkeBaby, FWIW, think you did ovulate, although maybe not at the exact date FF says. How long is your LP usually?
@BerkeBaby I think you could have ovulated on CD30 which would put you at DPO12. You don't have to answer this but did you not have sex after CD25 or just stop recording it? If someone completely missed their fertile window (although you would still have -5 assuming CD30 is correct), I could understand not wanting to participate in the TWW threads.
I guess I understand everyone's point of view and can see how this would add to confusion with newbies. I will simply do as @Lulucooks suggested and refrain from posting anywhere until my body sorts things out. It is what it is.
@anj27- We were confused by the fertility window that FF gave, so we didn't BD after CD25. We were both kind of burned out at that point. I like FF but it wasn't accurate. I didn't know where to go. TWW didn't work and I'm not WTO. I am upset. I thought I was doing everything right and my body is not cooperating.
FWIW, I have been ttc since June. I have had 2 cycles, waiting on the 3rd to start from Provera. My 2nd cycle took 179 days to start. That was from Provera.
I wasnt ovulating. Nor in the TWW. I still posted in the WTO thread knowing nothing was going on. Im not sure why anyone feels like they dont have somewhere to go. I find that really confusing.
I dont O. Period. I dont feel like I "dont belong" anywhere. Its odd. If you feel like youre in limbo, state in WTO/TWW that you will be lurking until you know whats going on.
Edit to add more
TTC since June 2015
DH {29} Me {26}
PCOS Diagnosis | September 2015 IF Specialist | November 2015 Provera | November 2015 | 179 Days since last AF HSG | December 2015 | All Clear Provera | January 2016 | 46 Days since last AF 1st round of Femara 2.5mgs | January 2016 | No response Provera | February 2016 | 44 Days since last AF 2nd round of Femara 5mgs | March 2016 | O CD18 | AF 3/28/2016 3rd round of Femara 5mgs | March/April 2016 | No response | AF 5/6/2016 4th round of Femara 7.5mgs | May 2016 | BFP June 4, 2015 EDD: 2/15/2017 | Loss Discovered: 6/11/2016 | NMC: 6/15/2015 Gonal-F 75 IU upped to 100 IU | June 2016 | IUI June 29, 2016 | Beta: July 13, 2016 | AF 7/12/2016 Gonal-F 75 IU upped to 112.5IU | July 2016 | IUI July 27, 2016 | Beta: August 10, 2016 | + Beta 171! BFP on Digi 8/8/2016 | Beta #2: 396 = 39 hour doubling time | Beta #3: 1659 = 34 hour doubling time First ultrasound: August 17, 2016; 5 weeks; Gestational Sac and yolk Second ultrasound: August 25, 2016; 6W+1D; Heartbeat 105bpm Third ultrasound: August 31, 2016; 7 weeks; Heartbeat 136bpm Graduated from RE: August 31, 2016 EDD: April 17, 2017
I'm fairly certain that no one is now, or was before this post, still confused about your clear contempt for this whole WTFIS this thread. If you're trying to make sure everyone here feels stupid, you've likely succeeded. If you're trying to leave no room for any ambiguity when it comes to your "confusion" about this thread and clear dislike for this thread then you've definitely succeeded.
I admit, as the person who took it upon myself to start this thread, in an attempt to be helpful (not spechual despite what you may think) I feel responsible for the drama that has ensued. If I apologize for starting it to begin with (ya know and clogging up the entire TTGP forum) and say that I won't restart it tomorrow, can we leave the dead horse alone? Because if so here it is: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've done (such as starting this thread) that has been so horribly annoying/stupid/spechual/confusing/whatever that it just couldn't be ignored.
Me: 28 Husband: 31 TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016 Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
The only "spechul" people I've seen on this board are the ones who came on and posted in a forum that they clearly don't belong in, and then insisted that no one else does either, because they are so "speshul" that they are obviously right.
Also, it was mentioned by @letyourheartbeyourguide that it was asinine to speculate about anovulation at CD17, making me wonder if in fact I was being a bit paranoid and spechul snowflakey myself. Therefore, I took it upon myself to look up anovulatory cycle charts on FF, and indeed, there are plenty of shorter cycles like mine that have been determined to be anovulatory. So for that, I do actually have to say thank you, because I learned something.
ReesaAnne16 hi! we were cycle buddies like 4? cycles ago, and sadly looks like we still are. I'm figuring out when to go to an RE too. It's a tough thing to acknowledge.I have a gyno appointment in May but I'm still considering just skipping it and going right to an RE after our Europe trip in March. 12 months is just as arbitrary as 11 months or 13 months, TBH.
Anyway, I like this thread. I'm 11 DPO (which is actually a really long luteal phase for me) but have dead negatives. Sure my period is coming any hour now, but WTO and TWW boards just don't feel like the right places for me.
The only "spechul" people I've seen on this board are the ones who came on and posted in a forum that they clearly don't belong in, and then insisted that no one else does either, because they are so "speshul" that they are obviously right.
Also, it was mentioned by @letyourheartbeyourguide that it was asinine to speculate about anovulation at CD17, making me wonder if in fact I was being a bit paranoid and spechul snowflakey myself. Therefore, I took it upon myself to look up anovulatory cycle charts on FF, and indeed, there are plenty of shorter cycles like mine that have been determined to be anovulatory. So for that, I do actually have to say thank you, because I learned something.
Yes, there are short anovulatory cycles and long anovulatory cycles and everything in between. The thing is, you'll only know you're having an anovulatory cycle until you get AF-like bleeding without having ovulated. It's like implantation bleeding - confirmed in hindsight.
When we tell newbies not to symptom spot and think that their bleeding is implantation bleeding, it's because we don't want them to put cart before horse and assume they're pregnant without any actual evidence. The same thing applies for anovulation. Not having O'd yet doesn't mean you're not going to O.
I get why people symptom spot their way into thinking they're KU, because hopefulness, though I don't quite understand why you'd want to assume your cycle will be anovulatory. It's like the other discussions about people assuming they have IF because they're impatient after a few cycles. Don't borrow trouble. Just keep temping/charting and see what happens, CD17 is still very early.
TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow
I'm struggling to understand why people get upset about a thread they do not have to post in. Seriously.... if the worst thing in your day is skipping over a thread you don't like on the Bump, you've got a pretty awesome and easy life.
The only "spechul" people I've seen on this board are the ones who came on and posted in a forum that they clearly don't belong in, and then insisted that no one else does either, because they are so "speshul" that they are obviously right.
Also, it was mentioned by @letyourheartbeyourguide that it was asinine to speculate about anovulation at CD17, making me wonder if in fact I was being a bit paranoid and spechul snowflakey myself. Therefore, I took it upon myself to look up anovulatory cycle charts on FF, and indeed, there are plenty of shorter cycles like mine that have been determined to be anovulatory. So for that, I do actually have to say thank you, because I learned something.
The thing is, you don't know for sure you are having an anovulatory cycle until AF arrives. It's possible to have a short anovulatory cycle, it's possible to hit 60 days and a doctor's visit to end a cycle. It seems premature to worry about an anovulatory cycle this early in your cycle because it is possible to just have a late ovulation randomly.
Gah. Could this BE anymore dramatic?! If you feel like you want to post here, then do. If you're confused by it, then don't. If the thread never gains traction, it'll die on its own.
The boards aren't clogged. Fact is, since TB redesigned the website, traffic to the boards has decreased dramatically.
If anyone wants to start any kind of thread because it applies to a sub-group of women here, go for it! You don't need "permission" to start a new thread, especially when multiple women have communicated they see a need for said thread.
While I appreciate the education and blunt honesty of the ttgp board, I will not be bullied into only posting where some people say it's ok.
Me: 31; DH: 31 NTNP: May 2015 TTC #1: late August 2015 PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016 BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
Gah. Could this BE anymore dramatic?! If you feel like you want to post here, then do. If you're confused by it, then don't. If the thread never gains traction, it'll die on its own.
The boards aren't clogged. Fact is, since TB redesigned the website, traffic to the boards has decreased dramatically.
If anyone wants to start any kind of thread because it applies to a sub-group of women here, go for it! You don't need "permission" to start a new thread, especially when multiple women have communicated they see a need for said thread.
While I appreciate the education and blunt honesty of the ttgp board, I will not be bullied into only posting where some people say it's ok.
This isn't bullying, its far from it. It's not even that dramatic.
Gah. Could this BE anymore dramatic?! If you feel like you want to post here, then do. If you're confused by it, then don't. If the thread never gains traction, it'll die on its own.
The boards aren't clogged. Fact is, since TB redesigned the website, traffic to the boards has decreased dramatically.
If anyone wants to start any kind of thread because it applies to a sub-group of women here, go for it! You don't need "permission" to start a new thread, especially when multiple women have communicated they see a need for said thread.
While I appreciate the education and blunt honesty of the ttgp board, I will not be bullied into only posting where some people say it's ok.
This isn't bullying, its far from it. It's not even that dramatic.
It seems like bullying to me, but that's fine if you disagree. And it's certainly more dramatic than the creation of a simple thread calls for. But, again, we can agree to disagree.
Me: 31; DH: 31 NTNP: May 2015 TTC #1: late August 2015 PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016 BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
Gah. Could this BE anymore dramatic?! If you feel like you want to post here, then do. If you're confused by it, then don't. If the thread never gains traction, it'll die on its own.
The boards aren't clogged. Fact is, since TB redesigned the website, traffic to the boards has decreased dramatically.
If anyone wants to start any kind of thread because it applies to a sub-group of women here, go for it! You don't need "permission" to start a new thread, especially when multiple women have communicated they see a need for said thread.
While I appreciate the education and blunt honesty of the ttgp board, I will not be bullied into only posting where some people say it's ok.
This isn't bullying, its far from it. It's not even that dramatic.
It seems like bullying to me, but that's fine if you disagree. And it's certainly more dramatic than the creation of a simple thread calls for. But, again, we can agree to disagree.
The bullying part isn't an agree to disagree topic. No one here has been bullied. It's insulting and hurtful to people who have *actually* experienced bullying to claim otherwise.
People had a differing view, they wanted to discuss it. Instead, loaded terms like bullying, mean, negative, and dramatic got thrown out. Which causes people to go on the defense and completely derails the discussion.
Disagreement =/= bullying. Questions =/= mean Concerns about the quality of the board =/= negativity Discussion =/= dramatic
Gah. Could this BE anymore dramatic?! If you feel like you want to post here, then do. If you're confused by it, then don't. If the thread never gains traction, it'll die on its own.
The boards aren't clogged. Fact is, since TB redesigned the website, traffic to the boards has decreased dramatically.
If anyone wants to start any kind of thread because it applies to a sub-group of women here, go for it! You don't need "permission" to start a new thread, especially when multiple women have communicated they see a need for said thread.
While I appreciate the education and blunt honesty of the ttgp board, I will not be bullied into only posting where some people say it's ok.
This isn't bullying, its far from it. It's not even that dramatic.
It seems like bullying to me, but that's fine if you disagree. And it's certainly more dramatic than the creation of a simple thread calls for. But, again, we can agree to disagree.
The bullying part isn't an agree to disagree topic. No one here has been bullied. It's insulting and hurtful to people who have *actually* experienced bullying to claim otherwise.
People had a differing view, they wanted to discuss it. Instead, loaded terms like bullying, mean, negative, and dramatic got thrown out. Which causes people to go on the defense and completely derails the discussion.
Disagreement =/= bullying. Questions =/= mean Concerns about the quality of the board =/= negativity Discussion =/= dramatic
"Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual."
Me: 31; DH: 31 NTNP: May 2015 TTC #1: late August 2015 PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016 BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
Gah. Could this BE anymore dramatic?! If you feel like you want to post here, then do. If you're confused by it, then don't. If the thread never gains traction, it'll die on its own.
The boards aren't clogged. Fact is, since TB redesigned the website, traffic to the boards has decreased dramatically.
If anyone wants to start any kind of thread because it applies to a sub-group of women here, go for it! You don't need "permission" to start a new thread, especially when multiple women have communicated they see a need for said thread.
While I appreciate the education and blunt honesty of the ttgp board, I will not be bullied into only posting where some people say it's ok.
This isn't bullying, its far from it. It's not even that dramatic.
It seems like bullying to me, but that's fine if you disagree. And it's certainly more dramatic than the creation of a simple thread calls for. But, again, we can agree to disagree.
The bullying part isn't an agree to disagree topic. No one here has been bullied. It's insulting and hurtful to people who have *actually* experienced bullying to claim otherwise.
People had a differing view, they wanted to discuss it. Instead, loaded terms like bullying, mean, negative, and dramatic got thrown out. Which causes people to go on the defense and completely derails the discussion.
Disagreement =/= bullying. Questions =/= mean Concerns about the quality of the board =/= negativity Discussion =/= dramatic
"Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual."
Mmkay? Where did that happen? People asked for clarification and wanted to state their opinion. How is that "the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others?"
You ladies do what you want. But this is a public board and we are all vested in it being an enjoyable one. If you decide to start a thread, people can comment whatever they want so long as they don't violate the TOU.
I always thought the WTDS threads made a lot more sense as a weekly check in. Typically, not much changes day to day so a daily thread is pretty unnecessary.
ReesaAnne16 hi! we were cycle buddies like 4? cycles ago, and sadly looks like we still are. I'm figuring out when to go to an RE too. It's a tough thing to acknowledge.I have a gyno appointment in May but I'm still considering just skipping it and going right to an RE after our Europe trip in March. 12 months is just as arbitrary as 11 months or 13 months, TBH.
Anyway, I like this thread. I'm 11 DPO (which is actually a really long luteal phase for me) but have dead negatives. Sure my period is coming any hour now, but WTO and TWW boards just don't feel like the right places for me.
Your luteal phase doesn't really change. Ovulation can change but your LP doesn't vary greatly.
Re: Introducing: WTFIS Sunday. AKA Limbo
Ya'll do what you want, but a similar thread has been started and abandoned several times (most recently titled "Waiting to Do Something") because everyone realized it was redundant and came off as trying to be special. I understand your point in starting it and that it does suck to have to hang out in one place for so long, but the women in those threads are incredibly supportive regardless of your CD/DPO or what is happening that it unusual, so IMHO, why not hang out there.
So, if you are WTO here (long cycle or whatever reason ), but then ovulate do you move to the TWW? Or do you stay here, making this a completely different WTO/TWW thread. If you finish out your TWW here, do you move to WTO? Are BFP welcome here? Since one of the reasons stated for leaving the TWW is the BFP are draining. Even if you test at 14dpo and end up with a bfn you can still end up pregnant on 16dpo. If someone only ever posted here, ended up with a BFP and then posted in the TWW about their BFP, I'd consider it a drive by.
I'm all for doing thing's that help people, but if it becomes unnecessarily complicated and it clogs the board with yet another acronym daily thread that could seriously turn noobies away and splinter the group off more then it is.
That was the concern that was brought up with the Waiting to do something threads and this one. It's not people being mean and wagging their fingers, it's just wanting to keep everything in the least amount of threads possible so nothing is missed. It's already pretty difficult to keep up with the WTO/TWW threads, I wouldn't keep up with this one, nor would I post here (this discussion excluded).
It's not a bad thing to discuss how the boards work amongst ourselves, just like when we determined what we TW on (that went very smoothly), that doesn't make the people asking for clarification mean or negative. It's a discussion, and we welcome discussion.
Just my 2 cents.
Good luck with all that.
I guess I look at it less as a "Technically you're WTO so if you're going to participate it has to be in the WTO thread. Technically you're in the TWW if you're going to participate it has to be the the TWW thread. Don't like it? Don't participate till you do. Don't be a spechual snowflake." and more like "Technically you're WTO and you want to participate but being in the WTO thread makes you uncomfortable. That's fine. Here is another option." "Technically you're in the TWW but that thread makes you uncomfortable. That's fine. Here is another option."
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for not coddling ladies who think they're spechual snowflakes with a gurgling uterus. Or who have "pregnancy symptoms" at 2DPO. Or who are totes 25 days late on their period and couldn't possibly simply have ovulated later than normal or something reasonable.
I'm all for focusing on science and logic. I agree that no matter how long, or short, your cycle is that you're always either WTO or in the TWW, technically. I'm not saying that we need another thread for ladies who somehow, inexplicably, have found another stage of the menstrual cycle that isn't the follicular phase (WTO) or the luteal phase (TWW) or the menstrual (WTO). I'm just saying that maybe it is worth it to create a space for ladies who want to be active but just aren't comfortable in either of those daily threads at the moment.
I realize that there have been past versions of this and that they never ended up going over that well. And I think this type thread probably dies a natural death as people start to feel more comfortable with WTO/TWW or start to feel less comfortable placing themselves in limbo.
Also, @Lulucooks I liked your response. Pretty much how I feel about the whole thing is what you said:
I definitely don't want to be causing more harm to the community in my efforts to help. I wanted to create something to help the ladies who kept saying they wished there was a limbo thread. I certainly never meant to create division, drama, or harm to the community. If the community decides that it's best to stick with WTO/TWW or don't participate in a daily then I will certainly abide by that decision.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Second, I completely disagree @DumbledoresArmy. Honestly if I'm not sure I O'd, I feel comfortable both saying it and reading it from others on either board. Integral parts of WTO and TWW are the limbo days--waiting for CHs, anovulatory, BFN and temp drop but I'm not out til I'm out. I totally understand not feeling like you exactly fit in, but this kind of thinking adds muddy (self-applied) rules to the real meat and potatoes of the board.
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016 | 6w2d
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP! . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
This is how I currently feel about this whole thing.
Married: July 2015
BFP: 5/20/16 | EDD: 1/28/17 | Twin boys born 1/16/17
@letyourheartbeyourguide and @ShellinLove - I don't think @NamelessAria or I were trying to be special snowflakes who are symptom spotting. I just thought it was a good idea for those of us at a tough point in our cycles where the WTO/TWW threads didn't make sense for us, or those of us who have unusually long cycles.
I don't even know what else to add. It was supposed to be positive and something we thought would help others, and now it's become the opposite. I don't understand the negativity and I don't think I ever will. This simply makes me sad.
@letyourheartbeyourguide and @ShellinLove - I don't think @NamelessAria or I were trying to be special snowflakes who are symptom spotting. I just thought it was a good idea for those of us at a tough point in our cycles where the WTO/TWW threads didn't make sense for us, or those of us who have unusually long cycles.
I don't even know what else to add. It was supposed to be positive and something we thought would help others, and now it's become the opposite. I don't understand the negativity and I don't think I ever will. This simply makes me sad.
---qbf---
There isn't any negativity
Discussion and not agreeing =/= negativity
Discussion is great, it's better when not everyone is agreeing to the same idea. Otherwise what's the point?
@BerkeBaby, FWIW, think you did ovulate, although maybe not at the exact date FF says. How long is your LP usually?
I wasnt ovulating. Nor in the TWW. I still posted in the WTO thread knowing nothing was going on. Im not sure why anyone feels like they dont have somewhere to go. I find that really confusing.
I dont O. Period. I dont feel like I "dont belong" anywhere. Its odd. If you feel like youre in limbo, state in WTO/TWW that you will be lurking until you know whats going on.
Edit to add more
IF Specialist | November 2015
Provera | November 2015 | 179 Days since last AF
HSG | December 2015 | All Clear
Provera | January 2016 | 46 Days since last AF
1st round of Femara 2.5mgs | January 2016 | No response
Provera | February 2016 | 44 Days since last AF
2nd round of Femara 5mgs | March 2016 | O CD18 | AF 3/28/2016
3rd round of Femara 5mgs | March/April 2016 | No response | AF 5/6/2016
4th round of Femara 7.5mgs | May 2016 | BFP June 4, 2015
EDD: 2/15/2017 | Loss Discovered: 6/11/2016 | NMC: 6/15/2015
Gonal-F 75 IU upped to 100 IU | June 2016 | IUI June 29, 2016 | Beta: July 13, 2016 | AF 7/12/2016
Gonal-F 75 IU upped to 112.5IU | July 2016 | IUI July 27, 2016 | Beta: August 10, 2016 | + Beta 171!
BFP on Digi 8/8/2016 | Beta #2: 396 = 39 hour doubling time | Beta #3: 1659 = 34 hour doubling time
First ultrasound: August 17, 2016; 5 weeks; Gestational Sac and yolk
Second ultrasound: August 25, 2016; 6W+1D; Heartbeat 105bpm
Third ultrasound: August 31, 2016; 7 weeks; Heartbeat 136bpm
Graduated from RE: August 31, 2016
EDD: April 17, 2017
If we can have Mancrush Monday, Ten Things Tuesday, and so on; why can't the be another daily thread? They all clutter the board just as much.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I admit, as the person who took it upon myself to start this thread, in an attempt to be helpful (not spechual despite what you may think) I feel responsible for the drama that has ensued. If I apologize for starting it to begin with (ya know and clogging up the entire TTGP forum) and say that I won't restart it tomorrow, can we leave the dead horse alone? Because if so here it is: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've done (such as starting this thread) that has been so horribly annoying/stupid/spechual/confusing/whatever that it just couldn't be ignored.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Also, it was mentioned by @letyourheartbeyourguide that it was asinine to speculate about anovulation at CD17, making me wonder if in fact I was being a bit paranoid and spechul snowflakey myself. Therefore, I took it upon myself to look up anovulatory cycle charts on FF, and indeed, there are plenty of shorter cycles like mine that have been determined to be anovulatory. So for that, I do actually have to say thank you, because I learned something.
Anyway, I like this thread. I'm 11 DPO (which is actually a really long luteal phase for me) but have dead negatives. Sure my period is coming any hour now, but WTO and TWW boards just don't feel like the right places for me.
When we tell newbies not to symptom spot and think that their bleeding is implantation bleeding, it's because we don't want them to put cart before horse and assume they're pregnant without any actual evidence. The same thing applies for anovulation. Not having O'd yet doesn't mean you're not going to O.
I get why people symptom spot their way into thinking they're KU, because hopefulness, though I don't quite understand why you'd want to assume your cycle will be anovulatory. It's like the other discussions about people assuming they have IF because they're impatient after a few cycles. Don't borrow trouble. Just keep temping/charting and see what happens, CD17 is still very early.
The thing is, you don't know for sure you are having an anovulatory cycle until AF arrives. It's possible to have a short anovulatory cycle, it's possible to hit 60 days and a doctor's visit to end a cycle. It seems premature to worry about an anovulatory cycle this early in your cycle because it is possible to just have a late ovulation randomly.
The boards aren't clogged. Fact is, since TB redesigned the website, traffic to the boards has decreased dramatically.
If anyone wants to start any kind of thread because it applies to a sub-group of women here, go for it! You don't need "permission" to start a new thread, especially when multiple women have communicated they see a need for said thread.
While I appreciate the education and blunt honesty of the ttgp board, I will not be bullied into only posting where some people say it's ok.
NTNP: May 2015
TTC #1: late August 2015
PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016
BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
NTNP: May 2015
TTC #1: late August 2015
PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016
BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
People had a differing view, they wanted to discuss it. Instead, loaded terms like bullying, mean, negative, and dramatic got thrown out. Which causes people to go on the defense and completely derails the discussion.
Disagreement =/= bullying.
Questions =/= mean
Concerns about the quality of the board =/= negativity
Discussion =/= dramatic
NTNP: May 2015
TTC #1: late August 2015
PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016
BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
Where did that happen? People asked for clarification and wanted to state their opinion. How is that "the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others?"
You ladies do what you want. But this is a public board and we are all vested in it being an enjoyable one. If you decide to start a thread, people can comment whatever they want so long as they don't violate the TOU.
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