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February 2016 Moms
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DH leaving town at 37 weeks... Nervous!

dtaded13dtaded13 member
in February 2016 Moms
So DH dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November. They just found out it's also spread to his liver, lungs, and lymph nodes. He was planning on flying out to see him at the end of February when baby would be about 3 weeks old. But, after further evaluation the Drs aren't sure he'll even make it til then.
We have my 36 week appointment today and I was 1cm at 34 weeks. Depending on what we find out this evening DH will be flying out this weekend. He'd only be gone fri-mon and I want him to be able to go but it makes me so nervous!
On the other hand I think it'll be a nice time for me and DD to have alone time before baby comes.
Ahhhh I'm just stressing
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Re: DH leaving town at 37 weeks... Nervous!

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  • Soon2bStaffSoon2bStaff member
    edited January 2016
    Sorry to hear about his dad and that your family is going through this. I agree with @VitaLuna! He would regret it forever if he didn't get to say bye. Every pregnancy is different but I was 1 and 2 cm since my 33 week appointment with DD and I was 40+ weeks when I had her! And, my DH will be in the next state for three days (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday), four days before our scheduled RCS. It's a 2.5 hour car drive but gosh I'm nervous as well but know it's out of my control! No stressing though! Good luck! :)

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  • MississippiCatfishMississippiCatfish member
    edited January 2016
    So sorry that you're going through this:( my DH is a 4 hour plane ride away right now, returning when I turn 37 weeks, and I'm a little nervous too, even with it being a week earlier (and that neither of my first two Babies came before 41 weeks!) Fingers crossed for you that baby will stay in during that time:)

    ETA:My dad died unexpectedly 2.5 months ago, and it was very tough not being able to say goodbye. I think you're doing a great thing by giving your DH this time. I'm a hospice nurse, and always knew that it was important, but now that I've experienced it (or, didn't get to experience it, I guess) I can say that that time is so very, very precious.
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  • Monkeybutt80Monkeybutt80 member
    I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this. I think you are doing the right thing allowing your husband to go visit him now. I am not saying that this will happen, but my husband's grandfather passed within a couple of weeks of being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. My understanding is that this is one of the most vicious and fast spreading cancer. 
    In addition, with my first, I was dilated 1cm for about 6 weeks before I had to be induced at 41 weeks, so unless you are much further dilated at your appointment today, I would say it is not an indication that you are going into labor any time soon. Good luck. 


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  • dtaded13dtaded13 member
    MississippiCatfish said:

    So sorry that you're going through this:( my DH is a 4 hour plane ride away right now, returning when I turn 37 weeks, and I'm a little nervous too, even with it being a week earlier (and that neither of my first two Babies came before 41 weeks!) Fingers crossed for you that baby will stay in during that time:)

    ETA:My dad died unexpectedly 2.5 months ago, and it was very tough not being able to say goodbye. I think you're doing a great thing by giving your DH this time. I'm a hospice nurse, and always knew that it was important, but now that I've experienced it (or, didn't get to experience it, I guess) I can say that that time is so very, very precious.

    I'm very sorry about your dad. Time is definitely precious and you are amazing for being a hospice nurse. I worked hospice for a while plus worked in a nursing home as a CNA so got to work with a lot of deaths. My dad died from complications of juvenile type 1 diabetes when I was only 8 and I still vividly remember our hospice nurse. My heart is breaking for DH knowing all he is about to face.
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  • dtaded13dtaded13 member
    Thank you all for the kind words.
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  • jordans_wifejordans_wife member
    How hard for your husband to have such a sad thing happening at the same time as such a wonderful thing. I lost my mom to cancer 3 months after the birth of my 1st born and it was really hard. She lived across the street but there was so much more I would have like to have helped with that I felt unable to do, due to having a newborn at home and my 1st at that.
    It's great that you are encouraging him to go. I think it would be unthinkable for him not to go and say goodbye. As a health care worker familiar with pancreatic cancer I agree that it should be now rather then later. From what you described I think waiting 3 weeks out is not an option. And the chance of you having baby at 37 weeks is unlikely. Not impossible but very unlikely. Good luck to you and your hubby in such a difficult time. Babies are such a blessing and remind us when one goes out, another beautiful being comes in:)
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  • dtaded13dtaded13 member
    jordans_wife said:

    How hard for your husband to have such a sad thing happening at the same time as such a wonderful thing. I lost my mom to cancer 3 months after the birth of my 1st born and it was really hard. She lived across the street but there was so much more I would have like to have helped with that I felt unable to do, due to having a newborn at home and my 1st at that.
    It's great that you are encouraging him to go. I think it would be unthinkable for him not to go and say goodbye. As a health care worker familiar with pancreatic cancer I agree that it should be now rather then later. From what you described I think waiting 3 weeks out is not an option. And the chance of you having baby at 37 weeks is unlikely. Not impossible but very unlikely. Good luck to you and your hubby in such a difficult time. Babies are such a blessing and remind us when one goes out, another beautiful being comes in:)

    I'm sorry about the loss of your mom. What a hard thing to go through!
    I had DD at 37 weeks but that was an induction for preeclampsia. I just had my check up and am 70% effaced, 1cm dilated. Dr said no guarantees but he thinks DH is fine to leave.
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