Your baby DOES NOT hate you. (Even if she's always crying when you're around)

groovylocks · January 2016

So my LO seems to cry and fuss more around me than my husband. She will enter purple crying with me and when her uncle comes over to visit, she immediately shuts up and settles. I felt like a loser.

So I finally asked my mom about it. My mom told me that this is great! That the reason she cries so much around me is because she sees me as her one and only resource. I represent food, comfort, a dry bum and warm, snuggly jammies. And if I don't immediately provide any one of those things she wants Right Just Now, she'll let me know about it. She also has a huge interest in communicating with me that goes beyond her interest in others, even her father. Mom said "basically hon, she thinks the rest of those fools are elaborate beds to stretch out on. She cries around you because you are the one she must establish meaningful communication with as quickly as possible. Of everybody, she wants to talk to you the most. And this is how she does it."

I did some googling and it turns out mom is right.

So for those of you who see the worst of your baby, no. Baby doesn't hate you. Quite the opposite. She trusts you more than anybody. Which is why she's such a pain in the ass sometimes.

LaceyH13 · January 2016

.....what about those of us who are the only people baby stops crying for?

groovylocks · January 2016

LaceyH13 said:

.....what about those of us who are the only people baby stops crying for?

I can't imagine that's a bad thing. I think every baby is different and every situation is different. For the first three weeks of Olive's life, she was calmest around me and my mother. She was very settled around me. It's only been in the last week that she's been fussy around me. And I've not changed. If anything, I'm less of a useless blunderbuss than i was before.. I think as she's getting older, she's becoming more alert and demanding.

I think though if your LO is always happy around you, you're in good shape. For those of us who find our kids are getting fussier around us, we want to understand why

yl1m32015 · January 2016

So true! My daughter is constantly trying to communicate with me. I'm also the only one that can comfort her. As exhausting as that is sometimes, I love that she knows me and knows I'm her safe place.

Daphneh28 · January 2016

That's what happened to me! First three weeks I was the only one who she would calm down with, cuddle with basically shush with. Then boom! She cries like crazy with me and chills with everyone else. This is very comforting!

groovylocks · January 2016

My mom to the rescue haha. She's definitely my best resource.

JulieK79 · January 2016

With my son, when he was a baby I'd be the only one who could calm him. With this one, she screams at me more than anyone else. You never know what you're going to get!

sarahjulypsu · January 2016

Same thing happens with older kids. They are fine with other people the minute I walk in the door the melt downs start. I have read it is normal behavior and a sign they are bonded to you. Basically they were on there best behavior and botteling up emotions and when you get there they let it all out.

groovylocks · January 2016

I feel like this might be why so many kids go to mom to ask for anything, even if they need dad's permission to complete the request. I swear we used to ask mom to books dad's time. "Mom can dad take us to a movie later?"

That's irrational.

Gingermom15 · January 2016

I still ask my mom for everything. I asked her today to ask my dad if he could bring over our deep freezer we are storing in their garage.

Why didn't I just ask to talk to him when she answers the phone? Probably because she's Mom and she knows everything. Hehe

Mizuiro007 · January 2016

sarahgn said:
I still ask my mom for everything. I asked her today to ask my dad if he could bring over our deep freezer we are storing in their garage.
Why didn't I just ask to talk to him when she answers the phone? Probably because she's Mom and she knows everything. Hehe

My mom will turn 60 this March and I still see her asking her mom for stuff. I don't think it ever goes away.

christiel14 · January 2016

I definitely needed to read this today. Thank you!

kaitinperth · January 2016

Love this!

amye02 · January 2016

@groovylocks tell your mom THANK YOU. I needed this today

groovylocks · January 2016

amye02 said:

@groovylocks tell your mom THANK YOU. I needed this today

My mom is the best. I swear, we need a "shit my mom says" thread where we can all post sage advice our monthers and grandmothers are giving us.

Without my mom, this would all have been so much harder.

amye02 · January 2016

groovylocks said:

amye02 said:

@groovylocks tell your mom THANK YOU. I needed this today

My mom is the best. I swear, we need a "shit my mom says" thread where we can all post sage advice our monthers and grandmothers are giving us.

Without my mom, this would all have been so much harder.

I agree! Do it!

DandT2point0 · January 2016

I so need this, @groovylocks!! The last six weeks have been either a beautiful Hell or a brutal Heaven- I don't know which most of the time. Thank you for sharing this.

angelicac06 · January 2016

DandT2point0 said:
I so need this, @groovylocks!! The last six weeks have been either a beautiful Hell or a brutal Heaven- I don't know which most of the time. Thank you for sharing this.

This.

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Your baby DOES NOT hate you. (Even if she's always crying when you're around)

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