Cousin pregnant again

valleric · January 2016

So my cousin just texted me this morning to tell me that she is pregnant with #2 and due in July. Her first ones first birthday was my due date. My husband and I have been trying for almost two years. Such heartache. I do not wish what we have had to endure on anyone, but I am tired of being happy for everyone else. I want my own child to love and adore. I totally lost it after I found out. Even had my husband crying too. I am so thankful that I have him. He is so sweet every time I lose it.

queenklau · January 2016

I know exactly how you feel. My reactions are pretty similar. I so desperately want to be genuinely happy for my loved ones, but my first reaction is disappointment that it wasn't me. My second is guilt for being self-centered. And then I try so hard to logically tell myself that I have to be happy for them. Sucks...
You are not alone.

YankeeUK · January 2016

There were 7 of us who got pregnant at work all within be same month or two. It was a joke how many women feel pregnant all with the same due date of late April/early May. I miscarried at 10 weeks and feel tortured by their growing bumps around me, including my good friend and neighboring coworker. People never truly get it until you're in the situation. It was our first, TTC for two years. I hate saying I feel your pain fully.

penelope4612 · January 2016

I'm so sorry. I have recently had 2 surprise pregnancies announced to me in ways I wasn't expecting (ie, not FB announcements), and it sucks. One of my coworkers is expecting (they were not trying for a baby) and first it was announced to me, then I got the invitation to the baby shower, then I got the invitation to help out with the meals during the first few months after the baby comes. They are great people and I want to be happy for them but it burns every time. They do not have any idea we had a loss, so they're not being oblivious. It just sucks.

megsbrock · January 2016

So sorry you are in this situation. When you say "I am tired of being happy for everyone else" that completely resonates with me; TTC and TTCAL are such emotionally and physically exhausting processes, it doesn't leave us much gas in the tank to celebrate the very thing for others we wish so desperately for ourselves. I had been trying for over a year, including one m/c, when my brother and his wife tell me they are pregnant, having gotten pregnant just 3 weeks after their wedding (which came after a whirlwind engagement at that). I blurted out "you don't know how lucky you are" and then immediately felt guilty-when really what I said wasn't that bad I suppose. It's just a roller coaster of jealousy and guilt. It's human. My advice is just take whatever space you need from pregnant friends/family. Give yourself the permission to enjoy some breathing room. Big hugs to you.

valleric · January 2016

Thanks everyone! I hate that you guys are in the same situation. No one in my immediate family has had a mc before, so they just don't understand. The worst was when one of my friends and coworkers invited me and my husband over to their house in August for dinner and we went there expecting to have such a good time. Then they announced to us they were expecting baby #2. My husband and I just had to sit there for a couple hours trying not to show our pain. I'm just glad my cousin told me over message so I didn't have to do the face to face again!

catiecatp · January 2016

It gives an interesting perspective to when we will announce our rainbow babies (I'm hopeful that things will turn out well for us eventually...). I'm not telling many people about my mc - I'm not hiding it but I don't want to go around talking about it to everyone and their cat, in part because it hurts, and in part because I'm a private person and it isn't everyone's business. I figure that if I'm being private, my other friends might be too about similar things - which has me wondering what the most sensitive way of announcing will be. I'm not not going to announce when I'm pregnant, but I wonder what the most sensitive way would be to do it - especially if I know at the time that a friend/family member is having trouble. I can't bring to mind anyone at the moment but - I guess what I'm rambling about is, given that other people are going to get pregnant and have babies while we continue to TTC, how would you like to find out about their pregnancies?