D&C vs. miscarrying naturally?

Aera11 · January 2016

I went in for an u/s this morning (10w2d) and there was no heartbeat. I think I am still in shock and am having an out-of-body/mind experience. My RE walked me through my different options and I am trying to decide if I want to just go ahead with a D&C or to wait it out.... from any of your experiences, if you did miscarry naturally, how long-ish did it take from when you found out to actually miscarrying? To me, the uncertainty of not knowing is daunting. And also seeing the tissue...I don't know how I'd react since I need to bring it in as they want to run a few tests. Thank you ladies

RiverSong15 · January 2016

I miscarried naturally before my first appointment, so I can't personally help much here.

However, if you look at the very first "Advice" thread at the top of this board, it contains links to other discussions where people have shared their experiences with both natural miscarriage and D&C. Reading those stories may help you decide what's best for you. From reading through the natural MC thread, I have seen that some women can take a few weeks to start bleeding after discovering a MC.

I'm sorry for your loss, and best wishes for a fast recovery, whatever path you choose.

monkey41 · January 2016

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is a terrible experience. Know this community is here to help and support you. I have found a lot of support here after my miscarriage last month.

I went in for an ultrasound at 9w6d (a Monday) and found out that the baby stopped growing at 9w2d. I immediately decided against the natural miscarriage route as I was told it may take 3 weeks. I didn't want to be going through this over Christmas and New Years. Instead, I first opted for the medically managed route with Cytotec. I received my first dose that Tuesday, which usually should work. It didn't for me, and so I received a second dose that Friday. That still didn't work, and I decided to go ahead and get the D&C the following Tuesday so it would all be done ASAP (that way I could still travel and enjoy holidays with family later that week after the D&C).

With the idea of miscarrying at home, you do run the risk of not bringing the proper tissue in for testing. You can read about that in many places on this website and elsewhere. I also found the cramping and contractions pretty tough especially after my second cytotec dose. It seemed like a lot of pain and bleeding that went nowhere. Nonetheless, you have the comfort and privacy of being at home.

At this point, I'm more of an advocate for D&C. I was very hesitant until I had spoken to a few friends/sisters who had gone through D&Cs. The Drs and nurses were super caring, and they made it very easy for me knowing it was a very emotional time. I walked in, did paperwork, got pampered with warm, comfy stuff, was given an IV and a chance to talk with some caring Drs, I was then rolled back, given anesthetic, and woke up an hour or so later, given a snack and some time for the anesthetic to wear off before I was told to get dressed and wheeled out to the car. I was ready for lunch and a walk immediately after getting home. On the day after the procedure, I had a little pain/discomfort, associated with bouncing around in a car or walking more vigorously, but that stopped after 2 days. I've been glad to not have to face seeing and handling the fetus and glad that I had a set time it would all be over with minimal pain.

Take your time processing your options and try to talk it out with someone. Again, this community has been a great support for me. I hope it can help you as well. Best wishes as you recover from this.

AL_TwinCities · January 2016

@Aera11 there was a thread a few days ago on this topic that I found helpful. I am right there with you. A week ago I learned that my baby didn't have a HB and measured 8 weeks (I was 9+4 at the time). My doctor talked about natural MC and the D&C and we decided I would wait and see if this will happen naturally. I've talked to some ladies on TB and friends who have MC naturally and with medication. The medication sounds terrible from these stories - makes the contractions very strong and was a scary experience for some. Natural MC can take time to start, 2-6 weeks from what I have heard. When it does start, it might be light cramps for a while and then will get stronger. Everyone I talked to said you will know when you are getting close to passing the sac/baby because the cramps will start to be very strong. Some saw their baby, which can either be traumatic or bring closure, depending on where you are at.

I have started to cramp, but am not bleeding yet. When the cramping gets stronger and I think the miscarriage is coming, if I am at work I will go home sick. I plan on taking a bath or shower to work through the cramps there, and calling DH or my sister to come be with me. I hate that I don't know when this is coming, but I do think this is right for me, to go through this experience.

susykat77 · January 2016

I am so sorry you are going through this. Which route to take is such a hard decision. I was traveling and the medication was suggested to me as I was told a D&C may cause infertility issues (I was already dealing with infertility and going through IVF). Like @AL_TwinCities mentioned hearing - the medication for me was VERY painful. I have never given birth but I imagine that taking the cytotec is like taking pitocin and the contractions come on fast a furious. There is a full account of my experience in my blog titled the unabridged story listed in my signature. There is a disclaimer in the beginning of the blog post regarding the explicit details as well as a warning about photograph of my gestational sac and placenta that is at the bottom of the post. I had no idea what to expect and as I was going through the miscarriage I had no idea what I was looking for - but for me it was healing seeing it and being able to take a moment and acknowledge the life that was growing inside of me. It was a very difficult experience but it was healing to go through the miscarriage. If I were to go back and be able to decide again which route to go I would choose cytotec again. I would be more prepared with stronger pain meds but I would do it the same way. The time in between finding out about my MMC and actually having the miscarriage were the hardest days ever. I was an emotional wreck and cried uncontrollably. I am sending you love and light as you go through this. Please send me a message if you need to talk more or have more questions.

Aera11 · January 2016

Thank you all for your thoughts and encouraging words; I have no idea how any of us go through this (sometimes more than once) and come out of it stronger, braver and wiser. My RE didn't offer Cytotec, so I don't know if that is even an option, but right now I am leaning towards natural miscarriage. If it doesn't happen on it's own within a few weeks, I will go ahead with a D&C.

@AL_TwinCities I remember you from our TTTC board; I don't know if I can bring myself to going back to that board yet. Right now, this place feels safest for all of the unknown that lies ahead. I am so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this also. I hope you're doing okay, or having moments of being okay. It's only been a day of knowing for me and I find fragments of time where I feel normal and then I remember.

@susykat77 thank you for sharing your story; I did look at your blog and found comfort in knowing what the outcome looks like because I was very unsure of what I may see if I chose to look. Your attitude and courage are what I hope to have when my time comes.

FiancB · January 2016

My doctor recommended D&C pretty strongly and I went with it, even though I began to bleed the day after we found out it was a MMC. I had a followup appointment a week after that and still hadn't passed the sac, so I got a D&C shortly after. It seems to carry lower risks and I was under the impression that it would all be over basically that day. I don't regret getting the D&C, but I was pretty wrong on the second point. I spotted for 11 days, and still turned positive pregnancy tests until 14 days later, and I didn't ovulate that cycle so MC is a long wait no matter what.

The surgery itself wasn't bad at all, but if you're like me and thought that the D&C would end the process much faster, you'll be disappointed. I'm not sure what I'll choose if it happens again. I suppose it'll depend on how far along I am and some other factors, but if it's the same situation I will probably try to go natural. I wouldn't want to do cytotec- both the week of bleeding leading up to my D&C and the actual D&C/its recovery were pretty painless.

scrowle5 · January 2016

First off, I am so sorry. I've been there so I can honestly say, I understand. I found out my babies heart stopped a week before I passed the sac. I had cramping the entire night before and all throughout the night, that morning around 5am, I naturally passed the sac. The cramping was unlike I have ever experienced and was about to go to the hospital before the sac passed because of my pain. I have never had a d&c, but with my natural miscarriage, the "painful" parts lasted only about 2-3 days... but the spotting for 2 weeks.

Aera11 · January 2016

Thank you both for sharing your experiences with me and I am so very sorry for your losses. I honestly don't know how we get through every day but somehow we manage.

I've scheduled my D&C for next Thursday unless I miscarry before then; I haven't had any symptoms (light cramps once), so it's doubtful I'll miscarry before Thursday. My RE is going to do another ultrasound before to make sure, but my heart knows this will be the right decision for us.

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