I MUST be doing something wrong??

Re: I MUST be doing something wrong??

• dmbfan46835 member

  January 2016

  Maybe take the book part out for now til he gets a better routine? I can't read books at night to DS because it just amps him up. He gets all excited and kicks and squeals. It does the opposite of calm him down. Maybe this will help a little? Man, 3 am would be terrible. I am so sorry

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• Livvyloo87 member

  January 2016

  When he is doing his big stretch of sleep perhaps yet letting lots of light into the room and keep it noisyish so you start to start a new association with sleeping at night and play at day.
  
  Not sure about this idea but what about keeping him up during the day and only letting him nap for 45-1 hour. You may end up with a really overtired baby but you could then at normal bed time go for a drive to our him to sleep to restart the cycle.
  
  That sounds sucky. Fingers crossed you figure something out!

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• tlc11934 member

  January 2016

  Does he really need to eat in the MOTN or can you rock him back to sleep? My DD used to do this and we fed her but she'd drink 2oz and go back to sleep. After a week of rocking and shushing she slept through the night. I know this is draining for a while but it worked for us.
  
  Other considerations: is your house warm enough? Is your LO in a sleep sack? Can you try what PP said and keep the light on during the day to try to help reverse the day/night issue.
  
  Good luck!

  

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• ElleMF728 member

  January 2016

  Can you clarify a bit whats going on? Is his bedtime at 3am right now or is he just waking every 3 hours throughout the night so he is up at 3 am to eat? 
  
  If its the first I would say that bedtime clearly needs to be earlier but you will have more success doing it slowly while simultaneously waking for the day earlier as well.  If you try to immediately jump to an 8pm bedtime he will likely just treat that as a nap and you'll be trying to put him to bed for hours.
  
  If he is just waking to eat I would argue that isn't out of the norm.  It looks like a bottle every 3 hours which DS2 will do as well some nights, the difference is that first bottle is typically later.  Are you doing drowsy but awake? Your LO may have an eat to sleep association which could explain the 9pm feed as well.  Do you nurse or feed to sleep? If you do try separating that last meal and bedtime by 20 minutes or so and soothing to sleep in other ways.  We have fisherprice soothers that have been miracle workers for us.  Lately I've been able to lay him down wide awake and he just stares at it until he is out.  I just go in and take it out of the crib after 15 minutes.  

  

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• LaurenNewph member

  January 2016

  Swaddling still works for us. We do it mainly when he obviously needs to sleep but won't fall asleep. I use a Halo sleep sack and just take his arms out once he's asleep.

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• caityrose member

  January 2016

  I had the same problem after the holidays because her schedule got so messed up. I just slowly started putting her to bed earlier. 8 pm is still way too early. But we start a feeding usually between 9 and 10 and I've been pretty successful getting her to sleep within an hour or two of that. Still a work in progress. The nighttime feeding I do upstairs in the room in the quiet and dark. Give a bottle. And nurse again till she's asleep. I have no problem with feeding to sleep. Works for us. I wish I had some miracle advice for you but I don't really. Just keep trying different things.

  
  

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• jen83mn member

  January 2016

  ElleMF728 said:

  Can you clarify a bit whats going on? Is his bedtime at 3am right now or is he just waking every 3 hours throughout the night so he is up at 3 am to eat? 
  
  If its the first I would say that bedtime clearly needs to be earlier but you will have more success doing it slowly while simultaneously waking for the day earlier as well.  If you try to immediately jump to an 8pm bedtime he will likely just treat that as a nap and you'll be trying to put him to bed for hours.
  
  If he is just waking to eat I would argue that isn't out of the norm.  It looks like a bottle every 3 hours which DS2 will do as well some nights, the difference is that first bottle is typically later.  Are you doing drowsy but awake? Your LO may have an eat to sleep association which could explain the 9pm feed as well.  Do you nurse or feed to sleep? If you do try separating that last meal and bedtime by 20 minutes or so and soothing to sleep in other ways.  We have fisherprice soothers that have been miracle workers for us.  Lately I've been able to lay him down wide awake and he just stares at it until he is out.  I just go in and take it out of the crib after 15 minutes.  

  Which soothers do you have? Favorite?

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• jlawson23 member

  January 2016

  I was wondering what exactly does putting your little one to sleep look like? Do you give a bottle, burp, rock, wait 20 minutes and then lay down? Do you co-sleep? I've recognized every child is different and what works for some of us may or may not work for you. But you should try different methods! Change it up! I will say that waking to eat is very normal. My daughter is 3 and a half months and still wakes up faithfully every 3 1/2 to 4 hours during the night.

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• ElleMF728 member

  January 2016 edited January 2016

  @jen83mn I have the vibrating elephant and the seahorse soother.  DS likes them both but the seahorse is my go to when he is pretty awake.  It has a dim light on its belly that basically hypnotizes my son into sleep and plays lullabies. It doesn't work if he is upset already in the crib but as long as he is calm, I can lay him down and when I go in 10 minutes later or so he is asleep.  
  
  The elephant was great for drowsy but awake, the vibration kept DS in his drowsy state enough to fall asleep. 
  
  I always think the first step in sleep training is teaching LO how to fall asleep not in mommy's arms so I use whatever I can to help him fall asleep in his crib.  Another trick we have had a lot of success with (for both boys) was to bounce the mattress.  DH and I just kind of push on it and it bounces LO and lulls them to sleep as well. The soothers didn't work as well with my first but nothing worked as well with him Someone on my previous BMB recommended them to me and they have more than come in handy this time around. They are both available basically anywhere and pretty inexpensive. 
  
  Vibrating elephant
  Seahorse soother
  
  ETA: I started by incorporating them into our bedtime routine and would turn them on next to him during baby massage.  I don't know if that made a difference, probably not but it was something that I did different from DS1.  

  

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• Dot30324 member

  January 2016

  Starters you need a schedule. Call me crazy but a schedule works. No naps longer than 2 hours. Max! Wake him up if needed. Follow the eat play sleep routine. And do the last feeding as a bottle to ensure he's getting enough.

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• ForeverEverAfter member

  January 2016

  It sounds like you've done everything right with the routine. Could you try to stimulate him more with play after the 7/8am feeding? Maybe he just isn't ready yet for longer than 3h? Every child is different. DD1 ate 1-3 times a night til she was 1.5yo. Just eat and go back to sleep, but she was genuinely hungry. This baby has slept a 6h stretch (10-4) since a week old, only interrupted during growth spurts.

  

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• LoveLee85 member

  January 2016 edited January 2016

  The house is 72 degrees. Halo sleep sack. He just won't sleep. I always turn lights on/open the blinds. Turn the radio on. He naps great. 45 minutes to an 1.5 hours. He just seems to never be able to have a long sleep until he's just so exhausted. Last night he woke up at 4:30 AM for a bottle and was up until 8AM. But he went to bed at 3AM. Then his 'big sleep' was 8AM to 1PM.

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• LoveLee85 member

  January 2016

  He drains full 6 ounce bottles. I have tried to comfort instead and he totally freaks out. Soother wise, I have a glowing fish/worm that plays for 20 minutes he loves. But he just starts fussing when it is off. I don't use pacifiers with him. I tried slowly putting him to bed earlier, nothing. A few nights in a row I tried for over 8 HOURS to sooth, bounce, rock, sing him to bed. It didn't work either. Several times a day he gets what I call 'independent play time' where I don't entertain him so he can explore his toys and such. I have grea luck with that. He does a good job. He will fall asleep on his own about 50% of the time. I normally put him down when he's drowsy. I'm just at a loss here. I will not be able to handle it if he does this forever.

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• LoveLee85 member

  January 2016

  Also wanted to add, DH is on the evening shift right now and I feel like baby flipped to his schedule!? I know it's me. I just have to be doing something wrong. I'll try to cut the books out right before bed. We will read them earlier in the day. He doesn't get a bath every single night, but he doesn't do any better on the nights he gets one. I seldom have the TV on, just radio. He will fall asleep in the car no matter what! But I refuse to start that. DH has recommend it a few times.

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• cmommy13 member

  January 2016

  It might help to take him outside during the day even if it's a little cold bundle him up and go for a short walk to help him realize it's daytime and not night

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• Dot30324 member

  January 2016

  Try Merlin sleep suit and increase to 7oz?

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• ElleMF728 member

  January 2016

  It does sound like he has his days and nights confused.  It isn't that he can't do a long sleep, its that his long sleep is at the wrong time.  4 hours of awake time might indicate this as well.  I would definitely start by waking him up by a certain time during the day.  He isn't going to start going to bed at 8pm if he is waking for the day at noon or one.  Do it a little at a time.  Wake him up at 11 and then try to get him to sleep a half hour earlier at night.  It will probably be a process since he has been doing it for awhile.  I don't think the whole bright days dark nights is going to make a difference until he starts waking for the day earlier.  Babies need a certain amount of wake time everyday and a certain amount of sleep time.  Start with the morning is my advice. 

  

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• LoveLee85 member

  January 2016

  Thank you guys!!! It's just so frustrating and with DH work schedule, I can't pass him off to anyone when I'm frustrated or nothing's working. Then I know he feels how anxious and upset I am, even though I'm saying loving things towards him. He's the sweetest boy but we are not 'friends' between 12AM and 5AM! Lol. I'll see how tonight goes. I didn't turn the tv on one time and he had short naps. Plus, we actually left the house today. Fingers crossed.

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• annya27 member

  January 2016

  I agree that he has his days/nights mixed. Is he's sleeping that much during the day, there is no way you'll get him to do it again at night. You just need to retrain him and you'll have it made! If I were you, I'd wake baby up to eat during the day. Don't let him sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. (This obviously changes as they get a little older and their naps consolidate) If he goes down at 8 am, wake him up no later than 10 am and offer a bottle. Try to keep him awake for an hour before letting him go back to sleep. Repeat all day. If all else fails, move to London. He's right on schedule there. Good luck!

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