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December 2015 Moms
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SO jealousy?! Anyone?!

abteambabteamb member
in December 2015 Moms
As I'm sitting up in bed nursing DD for the past 3 hours, I look over and see DH peacefully sleeping. I can't help but feel a tiny bit (ok a lot) of jealousy. This may make me a bad mom, but deep inside I'm jealous he's sleeping and I'm not!!! I asked him for a night off, like I would prepare bottles for him to give to DD while I sleep an entire night. He said sure but then I have to recover the next day and sleep in. Ummmm I've done no recovery and I do this everyday!! Lol Anyone else?!?!
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Re: SO jealousy?! Anyone?!

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  • dec15mumdec15mum member
    Yup. Sometimes in the middle of the night while I'm breastfeeding I wake him up to change our son just because I'm jealous he sleeps every night
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  • mhg54mhg54 member
    Yep, my husband snores all night while I'm up. Sometimes randomly loud enough to startle the baby while I'm nursing him. he is working while I'm on leave, so I do feel bad asking him for help, only during the week though, weekends are fair game! :)
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  • goldochsigoldochsi member
    All the time :-) I'm such a bad mom :-)

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  • goldochsigoldochsi member
    ..and wife
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  • cedixon2cedixon2 member
    My DH takes the 9-12 shift so I can get some sleep so it's hard to be jealous... But I do get jealous that I can't sleep at the same time.
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  • ColoradoHikerColoradoHiker member
    I EP, and most of the reason is bc I know I'm not good to be around without sleep. DH takes the late evening to around 2am feeds. If you can pump enough for a bottle or two at night, I recommend it. Then you can both get enough sleep, but it won't all be on you.
    DS1: Born 11.18.15
    DS2: EDD- 09.08.17

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
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  • ATolentino89ATolentino89 member
    Every. Single. Night. But, on weekends if I need him to my DH will take the early morning shift 6-9 and he always gives a bottle at 9-10pm so I can pump. If LO is really fussy in the night I will wake up my DH to hold him. Since he was just asleep his anxiety and stress is nonexistent so LO will usually fall right back to sleep. Plus, they both snore. :D
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  • celainevcelainev member
    It would be nice to sleep... On the flip side I know my DH is jealous of me, that our DS has more of an attachment to me. So it could go both ways. I love our bond and wouldn't trade it. ❤️
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  • rzarembarzaremba member
    Definitely same here, and while I'm on leave and he's back at work, I've accepted that he won't be waking up to help with diaper changes like he did before going back to work. My problem now is that he wants to play with baby whenever he can now, to maximize bonding. Even if that means at 3am when I'm trying to get LO back to sleep. Ughhhhhh I feel bad telling him to knock it off but come on, don't make my job harder!
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  • teachmegs817teachmegs817 member
    DH and I are discussing how we will be getting into a routine of having to get up during the night.  I'll be going back to work in the next 4 weeks and it will be both of us, who need some sleep in order to function at our jobs and take care of ourselves and DS.  As of right now, I do the 2 late night/early morning feedings, so DH can sleep. He gets up at 6 for work and that's usually around DS's first morning feeding, so he'll do the diaper change or get bottle ready for me.  Last night DS had a 10pm feeding and DH said he'd do it, so I could go to bed and I'd get his next feeding. I couldn't sleep, knowing that he was up with him. Not that I don't trust him, but I just wanted to make sure that he ate his bottle with no issues, was settled and ready to go to bed. 
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  • angelicac06angelicac06 member
    ATolentino89 said:

    Every. Single. Night. But, on weekends if I need him to my DH will take the early morning shift 6-9 and he always gives a bottle at 9-10pm so I can pump. If LO is really fussy in the night I will wake up my DH to hold him. Since he was just asleep his anxiety and stress is nonexistent so LO will usually fall right back to sleep. Plus, they both snore. :D

    @ATolentino89 I do the same thing! Lol My
    DW also gives our LO a bottle of my milk at 9 and on weekends well mine is 7-9:30 am shift. I also wake her up if LO is very fussy to hold him while I pee or wash my hands before I take him back :)

    It sucks I'm stuck with no sleep just because I'm the one on leave. It doesn't mean I get much sleep in the day.
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  • ErinKimmErinKimm member
    I'm jealous that my DH can leave the house for more than 3-4 hours at a time. He doesn't understand why I can't. Ummm...hello! My boobs will explode if I don't feed LO or pump every 4 hours. I can't just go out with friends for the night!
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  • ammnam14ammnam14 member
    DH was awesome the first week. Now I do everything including the day shift. I don't complain because I'm getting all of the bonding time and love from our LO. His loss!
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    DH is super helpful but as I lay here feeding her and having her awake from 3-5am, being puked on, having to change the bedsheets, her outfit and myself im a bit resentful that he's sound asleep in our spare room.
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  • ssn109ssn109 member
    So jealous of DH. Also mad. This morning, as I was about to head out to do the grocery shopping, he looks at me and says "I'm so tired." He doesn't get up with the baby at night because he's working and I'm on leave. Plus I have to pump anyway, so it makes no sense to have both of us get up. It's not like I'd get more rest if he fed the baby at night. I was like really, you're tired?! I have to get up every 2-3 hours and be up for 1-1.5 hours at a time between changing, feeding, putting him back down, and pumping. He's lucky I didn't blow my stack.

    Then today I asked if we could go out somewhere for dinner. He's gotten to go out twice in the last 3 weeks without us, while I sit at home a slave to the pump. I've only left the house for errands and pediatrician appointments, I just wanted to get out for something a little more fun. Instead I got to hear about how it's not fun for him to get to go to work because he hates his job. Men just don't get it
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  • theawc42theawc42 member
    chein1 said:

    Lurking from October 2015...I actually had this conversation with my mom the other day. If I weren't back at work, I don't think our marriage would survive. Completely honest. He is SO helpful now that I'm back at work and we both get up at night. He helps with the household chores and chores that involve LO and DD1. However, during my 9 weeks of maternity leave he was a dick, for a lack of better words. I was "home all day" which I guess equates to doing nothing or being able to nap whenever I want to. Then when he got home from work he'd play video games. Like hello, we have kids to take care of! I was SO resentful, I really started to despise him. He got out of the house everyday, he got to see adults and see things outside of the walls of our house. He got to just get in his car and go somewhere without little people. I seriously felt like a prisoner to my girls some days, and I cannot be happier to be back at work and have a balance between a teacher and a mom.

    Yes !mine has done this too! I'm stuck at home all day while he's at work then he comes home, says hi and goes back and plays video games all night! REALLY! He hasn't done it every night but enough. Then he wants to get on me about maybe you need to go out and do things with your friends during the day...... Umm they work ! Kinda upsets me because it makes me feel like I have no friends and no life lol. He also had the nerve to get upset with me for waking him up on the weekend at 7am to take the LO when I'm the one up with her all night every night! He says " you know I would be more willing to help if you let me sleep in then when I get up I'll take her so you can get some sleep." EXCUSE ME!.... It is 7am on the weekend and I've been getting up with her through the night and staying up with her trying to get her to sleep, now I'm just supposed to wait for you to just wake up whenever you feel like it then help! NO! It's 7am you get your a** up and help so I can get a few more hours on the weekend ...... That was a fun argument at 7am. He was great with helping when he was off work but he's been sacking since
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  • momotheflyinglemurmomotheflyinglemur member
    We each have 12 hour shifts of baby time. I take 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. and he has the other 12 hours. He has worked night shift before so it wasn't to crazy of an adjustment for him and there is some awake over lap where we do Tummy Time and baths as a little family. (He has three weeks off to stay with Odie and I). Even though I get plenty of sleep, because I wake up pump (while half asleep) for 20 minutes then conk back out, I still get jealous during my shift because he is sleeping. hahaha 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • KRH6829KRH6829 member
    edited January 2016
    My husband has been amazing. I hurt my back while pregnant and they think that labor pushed it over the edge and that I have a herniated disk...I get the results of the MRI tomorrow. Anyways, I have been having to take strong pain medication and my husband has been picking up the slack. I am home with the baby during the day and my DS goes to daycare. I try to manage the best I can during the day, but once my husband comes home I have to take pain medication. He makes sure both kids are taken care of and gets up with DD during the night if she gets up. She's almost six weeks old and sleeps 10-6 about every other night or else she gets up at about 3am for a feeding. He always gets up with her to feed her even though he has to go to work in the morning. He has been amazing.
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  • KRH6829KRH6829 member
    @mhuber223 she is formula fed, so I think that is a big help. Other than that, we just make sure to put her to bed awake. It's not 10 - 6 every night yet, but hopefully soon. I also think a lot of it is just the baby. My son started sleeping through the night at six weeks and is still an amazing sleeper at 2. Maybe my love of sleep got passed onto my babies.
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    I just asked my husband to change a diaper. I said "Oh hon i just changed four diapers today - can you change this one?"

    He said "Why?"

    And i said "Because i don't feel like changing five." and looked at him like he sucked at math. 

    Seriously. This guy. I married this guy.
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  • Magnolia+MamaMagnolia+Mama member
    Yes ma'am! I actually asked my husband if I pumped a bottle or two, if he would take the night shift. His response..."when did you start pumping?" Needless to say he's not helping with night feelings....YET!
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  • lalg28lalg28 member
    My husband got off work early. He went hunting and probably won't be back until 8pm. Not happy. He asked if it was okay but I felt like if I said no I'd be the bad guy. My fun is looking out the window when it's sunny...or finally getting a shower. Jealous much? Yesss
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  • helen76dhelen76d member
    Men suck. Well most do. My husband is so hot and cold with helping. I feel like if I say anything I'm the bad guy. Ugh.
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  • LMPOYLMPOY member
    Sometimes I wish our men would get a clue! They just don't get it!! My husband took today off of work so he could "spend time with me and DS". Hum, funny, he slept until 9 and then he has been in the garage the whole day setting up his "man cave"! Then he asked to have the boys over tonight! Thanks for the help & for spending time with us! Ugh!
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  • ACarter0914ACarter0914 member
    Going on three weeks with zero help and I am TIRED! My husband has had three days off this week because it's not his busy season at work and he's slept the whole time. Geeeeesh it would be nice if I could sleep more then two hours at a time. I'm so annoyed with him!!!
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  • abteambabteamb member
    I'm glad I'm not the only one! Hang in there ladies, we will make it. I think!! Lol
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  • neanerbeaner4neanerbeaner4 member
    edited January 2016
    Five weeks in and I'm really starting to resent my husband. Then the resentment just makes me feel guilty because I am fortunate enough to be able to be a stay at home mom because he makes enough to support us. However, I feel like I do all the work with LO. I am home all day with him, and then when my husband comes home, he will hold him for maybe an hour (while I am taking a shower) and then play games until it is time to go to bed. He feeds him once before we go to bed and then I take over all the rest of the feedings until the next night. He is better about it on the weekends, but I wish he would want to bond with him more when he gets home from work instead of immediately jumping on the computer.
    mc April '14, September '14
    chemical pregnancy February '15

    Rainbow baby EDD 12/19/15
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  • parkerhouseparkerhouse member
    It's Friday night/ Saturday morning which means DH should be on duty. We even talked about how excited I was that I would get a full nights sleep and he would do the night feedings. Fast forward to 1:30 when DS started crying and guess who had to get up. I was ridiculously loud trying to make a point. Then when I went back to bed (before DS woke himself back up.....why does he always wait until I leave his room to do that???) DH legitimately tried to get some. What??? I told him not to touch me..... Then as baby starts crying all of a sudden he's sleeping again. Ughhhhh, as I sit here at 2:30 rocking our son. So annoyed!!!
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  • mbecca11mbecca11 member
    I definitely feel like mine and SO's taking care of DD is like 70/30. I absolutely do way more for her than he does, including every night duty, and I don't complain while taking care of her either like he sometimes does. Ughhh, men.....
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  • neanerbeaner4neanerbeaner4 member
    edited January 2016
    parkerhouse said:
    It's Friday night/ Saturday morning which means DH should be on duty. We even talked about how excited I was that I would get a full nights sleep and he would do the night feedings. Fast forward to 1:30 when DS started crying and guess who had to get up. I was ridiculously loud trying to make a point. Then when I went back to bed (before DS woke himself back up.....why does he always wait until I leave his room to do that???) DH legitimately tried to get some. What??? I told him not to touch me..... Then as baby starts crying all of a sudden he's sleeping again. Ughhhhh, as I sit here at 2:30 rocking our son. So annoyed!!!
    I do the same thing, purposefully make a lot of noise so that he will (hopefully) get the hint. Spoiler... he just keeps sleeping. Then in the morning when I mention how I hoped that he would take over the night feedings on the weekends and his response is "I was up with him from 11-12..." He's lucky he's pretty and I kind of need him to make more little ones. :-P
    mc April '14, September '14
    chemical pregnancy February '15

    Rainbow baby EDD 12/19/15
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