hi everyone! I hope all is well, I posted in here throughout my pregnancy and now that my daughter is almost 9 months I decided to come back!
I'm a FTM I work full time and there just truly aren't enough hours in the day! I feel a constant guilt from being at work all day, coming home, having to cook straighten up, prepare for the next day while my daughter is sitting in her walker staring at me. I find the words " Hold on Ari" "Just let mommy finish this Ari, then I'll grab you" and before I know it, it's bath time and she's exhausted and ready to go to sleep. I hate it, I also find that I have a lot of resentment towards those I know that are stay at home moms that seem to have time to cook, and straighten up and still are able to give their kids all kinds of attention.
Not to mention the monster I feel like I've become towards my husband. Before baby, I always worried about how becoming parents would change our relationship and it makes me sad that it's come true. My husband is such an awesome, hands on dad, but so much of her daily life I've just always dealt with because he works long hours typically, so when we wake up he's gone and is usually home hours after we are. He's helpful on some ways but also clueless in others which drives me nuts and I make it known. During the winter he stays home with her (which I'm completely jealous of btw) and I just hate my attitude. I can feel myself being overwhelmed and I take it out on him. I know we need a much needed night out together because at this point I feel like roommates but I'm not big on my daughter sleeping out, mainly because I feel guilty that I only get full days with her on the weekend and I would be shipping her off to someone else.
Idk, some days I feel like superwoman for all the stuff I do, I work full time, I cook, keep up with the house, I try to make all of her food, I also nurse her (I pump during the day at work) but then other days I feel worthless and like such a b*tch to my husband. I guess I just need to know if anyone feels/has felt this way and if there's anything you can suggest to help fix it. I love my baby girl to death, so much so that I am neglecting my marriage and I need to become a team again with my husband.