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September 2015 Moms
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Over my relationship

mriandabustomriandabusto member
in September 2015 Moms
A year ago I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man, fast forward to now and I don't want to spend another day with him.
He's verbally abusive, doesn't like to hold the baby, won't change a diaper at all, and is just the opposite of the man I fell in love with 3 years ago.
It takes 2 though, I'm a bitch at times. I'm a SAHM so I cook every day, clean, take care of both of the dogs, myself and the baby so I do get tired, sleeping about 5 hours a day doesn't help but I always keep a smile with my son because he's very happy and always puts a smile on my face.
I haven't had sex with him since October because of the way he treats me and he says he's been treating me this way because I haven't had sex so it's a never ending circle. I've been trying very hard not to bitch or complain but it's hard when he's telling me in a dumbass because I can't get Tristan to stop crying or when I want a 10 minute break I'm a POS.
I'm going to live with my mom because our house is covered in mold, he's going to stay here because of his contract with work and our lease. A lawyer said we can fight it if I'm willing to stay for a few months but I'm not willing to keep Tristan around it for even another week. I'm hoping a few months apart will help but right now I just want nothing to do with him.
How are you ladies coping with your SO? I read all the posts but nothing like my current situation.
Sorry about the rant, I just really need advice
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Re: Over my relationship

  • mriandabustomriandabusto member
    Must add. After having this conversation an hour ago I'm thinking he feels guilty because he just kissed me goodnight, he hasn't kissed me in 3 days even when I've asked for one.
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    I think the space will be the best thing for you two. He'll either realize how much he misses and needs you around or you're going to realize you can do this on your own and you don't need him. I'm sorry he's being such a jerk. My DH was like this for awhile since the baby got here. He changed once I gave him an ultimatum and realized that I was going to leave. I really do think the space and time apart will give you what you need
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  • mriandabustomriandabusto member
    @chelseajeanene I really want it to bring us back together. So I think as long as that's what I want it'll happen. I just hope he does realize that he's been unbearable these last few months and decides to change
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  • rachelkawesomerachelkawesome member
    Another option is to do counseling together. You could go in addition to the time apart. It sounds like you have communication issues, and it could be really helpful to talk it out with someone who is outside of the situation. It also sounds like you are aware of the communication issues and the negative patterns you guys have, and that's a really good thing to start counseling with! Hope you don't mind the advice, it just seems to me that you want to continue the relationship, despite how frustrated you are now.
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  • alyjmacalyjmac member
    I hear that I'm a POS all the time or a nagging bitch!
    I definitely agree with pp. counselling sounds like your best option for your communication problems and if he isn't willing to do that or to make a change you have to decide if this is how you want to spend the rest of your life. It's not fair for someone to make you feel bad.
    My SO has been at work all week and I'm waiting to have a make it or break it talk with him tonight. Last night he said something really nasty and that was the breaking point for me.
    I hope you guys can work it out because you obviously still love him and it's not easy to let go.
    Good luck :)
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  • JenLovesDesignJenLovesDesign member
    I don't think you should leave without him.  You two are supposed to be a team.  Marriage is tough, and no doubt having a baby has been one of the most difficult things my husband and I have also gone through.  You have to stick through it though.  It will get better.  Make an effort.  It must be so difficult without any help, but if you leave him, then it could lead to even less help.  All marriages go through times when you hate eachother and can't figure out why you are even with him.  But hold fast, it gets better eventually.  Marriages stick it out.  It's more than the moment.  I think you should both move to a new place.  
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  • LouLouLoveLouLouLove member
    I think it's great that you want to try to make it work but I think the space will be good. It also sounds like your SO has some anger issues to deal with. I can't even imagine a situation in which my DH would call me a dumb ass or a piece of shit. I'd make sure he addresses that behavior. What if he's talking to your son like that one day?
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