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Anyone relate? hubby has child with ex but not you? ( children mentioned)

hopeful99hopeful99 member
in TTC after 35
So I remarried at 38 and we have children separate from each other. I have a child with my ex and he has two teenaged children with his ex..  TTC has been a nightmare for us.. we started after the wedding and had a miscarriage last january.  I am now 39..  we just started with an RE and am having my tests done next week ( hsg and blood work) Is it hard for anyone else to watch your hubby with his kids with his ex?  i mean this was never so emotional like this until we started trying with no luck and had the miscarriage..  I feel like such a bad person for feeling jealous but it is hard not to knowing he was able to have that with his ex and not me.. I think of the future and it seriously depresses me.. thinking of weddings and grandchildren and so on.. we won't be grandparents together.. not in the same way.. There is a void there that might never be filled.. and i think the fact that i share a child with someone else and he shares two with someone else makes it hurt even more than normal.  i feel so wrong to be feeling this way. i just wonder if anyone else can relate? cause i feel pretty alone right now..  How do you get past the hurt?  I don't want it to impact our marriage.. 
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Re: Anyone relate? hubby has child with ex but not you? ( children mentioned)

  • 1inthehopper1inthehopper member
    I can't relate but just wanted to say sorry for your loss and hang in there!
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  • Knottie16743552Knottie16743552 member
    Yes ma'am. First off - hugs for your loss.

    I have never had that experience. I do have a DD from my ex and he has two DSs from his. I get upset bc DD was a surprise from a very bad marriage and I actually left while pg so I never experienced the whole mom/dad labor and delivery, happy family stuff. I get super jealous that he had it (although claims it wasn't happy on either account).

    There's a part of me that gets very angry about this although I shouldn't. So I know somewhat how you feel. Sometimes, I want to give up on ttc to almost "punish" him for having that experience without me. I know that's totally unhealthy of me.

    But, I absolutely see your frustration and think that you're allowed to be upset by that.
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