Being your own advocate...

mrsstarski86 · January 2016

Hi Ladies!

Looking for some advice, I've lost a little trust in some of our former doctors....
Our story in a nutshell: my husband and I have been seeing different specialist for almost a year. He always had a "bad" feeling that each month that went by without a pregnancy was his fault. After seeing a urologist and have a SA done (that came with absolutely no sperm), he was told to wait and see if things improve - fast forward three months later and the SA was the same. The doctor wanted to repair his varicocele although research suggests it doesn't do much in cases like his. So we moved on to a RE. Schedules were made to test me for everything under sun, starting from my next period, and he had a repeat SA (again zero).

We came back after all the tests were complete and she told us to try really hard during the expected ovulation days (even showed me on a calendar, as if my body follows said calendar lol). Needless to say we moved on from her....

The next place referred my husband to an urologist who supposedly specializes in MFI and he wanted to do a testicular biopsy (30% success rate) to search for sperm. Through the Bump and other websites, I found that there are newer technologies like TESE and mTESE (can have 50-60% success). I found an urologist who specializes in mTESE and who works with a different IVF clinic. We just saw him this week and are super confident in our decision to switch again. We're hoping to get IVF scheduled in the next two months or so.

I'm so worried about what IVF will bring in terms of thoroughness. I feel like I've been doing more watching out for our best interests than some of our actual former physicians.

Anyone else feel like they really have to stay on top of their game when it comes to doctors? Any pointers or ways that you stay on top of what is going on or will it all kind of fall into place once we get a schedule? Thanks

genipher1231 · January 2016

@mrsstarski86 I haven't had any issues with my RE since we started TTC, but in connection with treatment of PCOS I had constant problems. It took me a long time to find a physician that would be thorough and comprehensive. From my experience I learned two things: 1) Always go into a new doctor well informed (informed about your situation, with a list of questions, and informed about your physician) and 2) If after your first meeting you do not feel confident in the provider, move on to someone else. This process can be pretty delicate and if you aren't comfortable, you are going to be getting in your own way, so to speak.

knklein10 · January 2016

@mrsstarski86 Hi! I totally agree that through all of this, we need to be our best advocates. After doing a complete RPL panel (I lost two babies prior to seeing my RE), the verdict came back that nothing was "wrong" with me. The nurse said we didn't even need to test my husband's sperm because if we were getting pregnant, which we were, that wasn't the issue. Fast forward another pregnancy loss later and we requested my husband's sperm be tested anyway. Turns out he has low morphology, which, surprise surprise, our actual doctor tells us is a possibility for the early losses-- deformed sperm are less healthy overall, so even though conception is occurring, the embryos can be defective. Had we never asked for the semen analysis, we'd never know. Now I am set to start my first IVF cycle this month and I am basically terrified.

So frustrating. But, it seems like you are so on top of your game, so keep advocating, lady!

I wanted to invite you to my blog about IVF, repeat pregnancy loss, TTC, and all this "fun stuff." My goal is to find a community of women who could connect about this stuff. Feel free to check it out, drop a comment where you might have some expertise, or follow via email if you'd like.

Blog: Threelittlebeans.com
Twitter: @ThreeLittleBean (no S!)

Sending positive vibes your way!
Kelly

mclorn · January 2016

It is so sad to me that we are the ones who have to ask questions and research. The doctors should be doing this and I am very frustrated for you!! Best of luck.......

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