Rainbow baby check-in

tripledaggerWed95976 · January 2016

I was lurking in April '16 and saw that they're doing a rainbow baby check-in and I thought it was a great idea. Now that we are half-way through our pregnancies how is everyone feeling? Personally, I still get scared all of the time. I miscarried last year at 8 weeks so, the first trimester was the hardest so far for me.... However, I thought once I hit the second tri all my fears would go away but they really haven't. I've found some peace from using my home dopplar- every time I get nervous I use it and it puts my mind at ease for the time being. Also, the little baby kicks definitely make me feel better but I'm only 21 weeks so they're still fairly sporadic. I still am afraid to get overly excited about my pregnancy because I feel it would somehow make things worse if I were to lose this baby. I'm thankful everyday my husband is so supportive and really helps me when I get scared. How is everyone else feeling? Feel free to share your thoughts, struggles, anything you feel like sharing :-)

babykasper · January 2016

The fear and anxiety is very real! We had three miscarriages before this pregnancy. We got pregnant with this one, 4 days after our D&C from losing a little girl (didn't mean to get pregnant), but God had other plans. We had never gotten past 12 weeks prior... We are 20 weeks on Tuesday, and yes... He moves around and kicks me and pushes on me which makes me feel so much better! But the nervousness is very real. Also... A month ago, my brother and his wife lost theirs at 25 weeks... So I'm not even sure once I get passed 24 weeks, I won't still feel the anxiety. She went into the ER for a massive nosebleed and ended up having to deliver a still born baby girl. Worst day ever. So I totally understand where you are coming from... But I'm so excited about this baby... And my husband has been amazing and super sweet! He's been working so diligently on the baby room and catering to me while I'm on bed rest! We will get there! This baby will go to term, and we will officially start our family!

codeeye · January 2016

I had an early miscarriage 7 years ago and then had problems conceiving up until I conceived this wonderful miracle. I also thought that after I got to the second trimester the fears would go away but they have only subsided a little. My step brother and his wife had a still born boy at 26 weeks after his mommy had a seizure. I know that what happened to them was rare and related to her condition but I still panic knowing how horrible that was for them. I am agnostic, but my SO's faith in God and his plan is really uplifting my spirt about everything. As he says, this baby has been a miracle since day one There is obviously a plan for him.

JoMunson · January 2016

I had a missed miscarriage about a year ago (we found out we were pregnant in November and my February I was having a D&C). I was really nervous at first but ever since week 13 I've felt stronger and stronger movement. It's like Little Man wants me to know he's doing okay.

bgoodwin4 · January 2016

I am still an anxious mess this trimester! I am 18w4d FTM and have an anterior placenta so can't feel the baby move yet. Also, I had some pains the past week or two, which is normal but it's tough not knowing what's going on in there and waiting 4 weeks between appts. My sister and I are pregnant together now (she's 15 weeks) and we have had 3 MC between the two of us. These will be the first babies in the family, so I think only knowing loss to this point is driving some of the anxious feelings. Hoping for a healthy little one in there for myself and all of you lady mamas:))

Knottie70382496 · January 2016

I am in the same boat as above! Anterior placentas are the worst!! I had a missed miscarriage followed by a natural miscarriage the past year with no answers as to why and now even at 19 weeks the anxiety is daunting every day. I think if I could feel him it would be easier. But four weeks in between appointments is so hard. And the random aches and pains always have me freaking out. I tell myself that I'll be better after the next appointment but after each appointment I have a good few days and then it's back to everyday worries and fearing the worst. Just trying to stay positive and cherish each moment but it's hard... Any ways you ladies cope with the anxiety?

babykasper · January 2016

@Knottie70382496 "any ways you ladies cope with the anxiety?"

For me... It's trying to enjoy "this" pregnancy! Easier said than done sometimes... But the differences too... My last pregnancy I wanted strawberry and peach ice cream all the time and only spicy foods! And this time, salt, salt, salt! Hubby has been amazing too in helping me when I have doubts or when I get nervous (he talks me down and calms my nerves). Of course, we will never know until we hold that baby! But for me, it's made it easier when I get scared.

kwrightnb · January 2016

I lost my daughter last year at 28 weeks. They have no clue what happened, she just stopped growing and her heart just stopped beating. I'm going insane this past week as I get closer and closer to the time we lost her. Only 21 weeks and my anxiety is only getting worse

UGH

bgoodwin4 · January 2016

@kwrightnb so sorry to hear that! For you and @Knottie70382496, prenatal massages, reading a non-baby related book, painting all help me with anxiety. I took a knitting class last year and found it super relaxing. Also, we live in Denver and spending time in the mountains/nature helps. This may come out sounding terrible, but when I'm having anxiety about losing the baby, I start trying to think of what positive things could still happen as a way to prepare myself for the worst. For example, I would be able to ski this season, go to a wedding in Mexico that is during my no fly zone and take a few more trips. It would be no substitute for a baby but at least it's my way of telling myself that the world would not end and there could still be things to look forward to. Hope that makes sense....

evalynn24 · January 2016

We lost our little girl at 35 weeks in July and I am 19 weeks with a boy now. I am still extremely scared and I use my doppler pretty often to ease my nerves. I can't wait to just hold him in my arms and not worry about another stillbirth. At that point there will be a whole new set of worries, but I'm trying to save that for then.

tgortney · January 2016

I just wanted to share this story with you all to give some hope

I know it has no bearing on each individual pregnancy but it is a feel good story.

https://www.fox9.com/news/66399455-story

It's about a baby born 14 weeks early and weighing only 10 oz. She has thrived!

I hope you all (we all) have a happy healthy full term pregnancy!

Mrs Sweet Tea · January 2016

I feel like a mess. I am scared to take the stroller and mamaroo out of the boxes and put them together. I hate that we are already paying L&D fees for a baby that might not make it. I don't want to read much and have it all be for nothing. I know I should be hopeful since we are 22w1d after losses at 8w5d and 8w3d in 2014, but I know you are never truly out of the woods. All of our scans have been great so I should have no reason to doubt but it's so hard. I just want it to be May and to be able to hold our perfect, healthy little girl.

JoMunson · January 2016

I realized today at my 22 week appointment that I have anxiety every time I go to my birth center cuz it's where they told us our last baby never made it past six weeks.
Today I saw the same midwife who we saw last time we were pregnant. I was so thankful that she addressed it right away and said she was so happy that I was pregnant.

ajh7 · January 2016

I lost my first baby at 7w 5d, 2 weeks after my dad passed away unexpectedly at the age of 44. A week before I found out I was pregnant with our rainbow baby, my doctor put me on anti-depressants as I couldn't take the pain of losing a child and my best friend at the same time. However, as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I quit taking the meds... I didn't want to take the chance of something happening again. The first trimester was hard and seemed to take forever. Everytime i went to the bathroom i checked to see if i was bleeding and i anxiously counted everyday until i was 13 weeks. The second trimester started out slow but after finding out we're having the first girl on his side of the family in 5 generations and feeling every kick and squirm, I'm finally starting to enjoy being pregnant. I'm currently 23 weeks and can't wait for May 6th to come so that we can meet and hold our rainbow baby, Tatum Jo.

DanandVan · January 2016

I had 2 mc in 2014. So this time I put my joy and excitement on hold for the entire 1st tri. Now that I'm 22 weeks and feeling him move all the time, I feel like I can finally enjoy this a bit and let myself get excited.
Of course you never truly get over the losses, and my insurance just audited the hospital bill from my 1st mc (where I hemorrhaged so badly I almost died...) and sent us a HUGE bill out of the blue - totally dragged up all my emotions from the experience plus HOW are we going to pay this....ugh...
Hugs to you mc Mamas, and praying for safe delivery for all your rainbow babies!

JoMunson · January 2016

@DanandVan I STILL have my bill from my miscarriage (which they initially labeled as "abortion") from last February. I basically just refuse to pay it, although I'll pay it someday. They don't add anything to it so I'm safe (maybe?) ignoring it until I'm ready.

codeeye · January 2016

JoMunson said:
@DanandVan I STILL have my bill from my miscarriage (which they initially labeled as "abortion") from last February. I basically just refuse to pay it, although I'll pay it someday. They don't add anything to it so I'm safe (maybe?) ignoring it until I'm ready.

I work in an emergency room and sometimes they refer to miscarriages as "spontaneous abortions" I know it's just a medical term but it always makes me feel bad that they use that word.

JoMunson · January 2016

codeeye said:

JoMunson said:
@DanandVan I STILL have my bill from my miscarriage (which they initially labeled as "abortion") from last February. I basically just refuse to pay it, although I'll pay it someday. They don't add anything to it so I'm safe (maybe?) ignoring it until I'm ready.
I work in an emergency room and sometimes they refer to miscarriages as "spontaneous abortions" I know it's just a medical term but it always makes me feel bad that they use that word.

See, I would have understood that, especially if I'd had a natural abortion. But I had a missed miscarriage and the bill clearly said "abortion" not spontaneous, I wrote them a letter and they sent me one back profusely apologizing for the error.

codeeye · January 2016

JoMunson said:

codeeye said:

JoMunson said:
@DanandVan I STILL have my bill from my miscarriage (which they initially labeled as "abortion") from last February. I basically just refuse to pay it, although I'll pay it someday. They don't add anything to it so I'm safe (maybe?) ignoring it until I'm ready.
I work in an emergency room and sometimes they refer to miscarriages as "spontaneous abortions" I know it's just a medical term but it always makes me feel bad that they use that word.

See, I would have understood that, especially if I'd had a natural abortion. But I had a missed miscarriage and the bill clearly said "abortion" not spontaneous, I wrote them a letter and they sent me one back profusely apologizing for the error.

That's terrible! I'm so sorry you had to experience that. I can't imagine how that must of felt.

tripledaggerWed95976 · January 2016

JoMunson said:
@DanandVan I STILL have my bill from my miscarriage (which they initially labeled as "abortion") from last February. I basically just refuse to pay it, although I'll pay it someday. They don't add anything to it so I'm safe (maybe?) ignoring it until I'm ready.

They really need to change that terminology. It's SO offensive- I'm so sorry that happened to you. Honestly I wouldn't be able to pay a bill that said that either

kp90 · January 2016

Agree. @tripledaggerwed95976 Also had a MC in 2013 and in my medical charts it would say abortion. To me that is SO, SO offensive. The term 'abortion' means I wanted that to happen... and I can assure you and bet my life on it that was the LAST thing I ever wanted to happen or go through. I understand 'medical terms' but they really should call it what it is. It's hard enough for us to go through it and have to use the word MC alone.. and then they slap the A word on it. Not cool. Hugs to all of you.

JoMunson · January 2016

To me "abortion" means my baby was alive, and they were not.
I'm wondering how many moms on here consider themselves to be FTM even though they've been pregnant before. I'm hesitant to even count my last pregnancy since our baby stopped developing at about 6 weeks- although I had HG and of course the trauma. I once mentioned to my husband that the last baby "didn't count" and it upset him.

kp90 · January 2016

@jomunson I consider my baby that I miscarried as definitely "counting" but I consider myself a FTM once this LO is born because I don't have any children here physically other than the one in my womb. That may vary for everyone but that's just how I see it. During appointments when they have asked if this is my first pregnancy, obviously I tell them no. Its my 2nd. Any pregnancy to me definitely counts.

Knottie70382496 · January 2016

Just popping in here. Found out today at 20 week appointment that our son looks to have clubbed feet. After our two losses, I'm taking it pretty hard. Although the blood work came back negative for downs and the other two serious defects there still could be a chance of a chromosonal defect. Although everything else looks to be fine via ultrasound. I'm Being sent to a high risk Doctor and special maternal fetal medicine office. If the high risk Doctor sees anything, they want to do amino which I know has risks, which we can therefore deny to have done. It's all just overwhelming. I was just getting to the point in this pregnancy where i was beginning to feel okay and now I'm a mess. Praying there is nothing chromosonally wrong and trying to prepare to have a baby in casts and braces and potential surgery starting as early as 8 days old and for most of the beginning of his life. He can go on when he is older to be fine and just trying to hold on to the best case scenario... Just needed to vent and didn't know where else to post....

kp90 · January 2016

@knottie70382496 So sorry for what you're going through. The best advice I have is to seek comfort in prayers and positive thinking. This could come back completely normal next appointment and always remember things could be much worse. For now be grateful for the growing baby you are blessed with and know that it could be worse. Just keep thinking positive though I know that's tough. Hugs!

tripledaggerWed95976 · January 2016

@Knottie70382496 so sorry you received that news! Thoughts and prayers to you! Also, just wanted to add that I know two people that were born with club feet and neither of them had any further birth defects at all (and no chromosomal disorders).

tripledaggerWed95976 · January 2016

JoMunson said:
To me "abortion" means my baby was alive, and they were not.
I'm wondering how many moms on here consider themselves to be FTM even though they've been pregnant before. I'm hesitant to even count my last pregnancy since our baby stopped developing at about 6 weeks- although I had HG and of course the trauma. I once mentioned to my husband that the last baby "didn't count" and it upset him.

I definitely think my first pregnancy that resulted in a miscarriage counted, but I also will consider myself a FTM once LO is born. I think mainly because I didn't really get a chance to be a "mom" to baby #1

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