Anxious second time around

townsley2015 · January 2016

Any other S+TM incredibly anxious this time around?

I have been so anxious this pregnancy, on Tuesday night I had myself so worked up for our A/S ultrasound Wednesday morning that I didn't sleep at all. Once I laid eyes on our little one and saw all was ok. That afternoon when I finally had a moment to myself I just started crying with relief. And without fail before every checkup I work myself up without even meaning to!

Maybe it's just because I was so sick with DD for the whole 9months that it never occurred to me that anything would go wrong, and since having DD I've heard many more stories about all the things that can happen. Anyway just wondering if any of you ladies are experiencing the same thing, and how are you coping with it?

jessiedee13 · January 2016

I'm with you on baby #3. I was so sick the whole time with both my boys that anything being wrong never occurred to me as a possibility. This time, I've been feeling pretty great and have been actually experiencing and enjoying pregnancy but I get very worked up about every little thing and usually spend the morning of my appointments a hot mess. Ive always been this way, and I have friends that understand that I talk to in order to chill out. And I talk to my husband about it alot as he never fails to keep me calm. I wish he could accompany me to all my appointments, but he just can't take that much time off. I'm lucky his boss allows to be available to me via text 100% of the day. Without that, idk what I'd do.

gemini2005 · January 2016

I'm the same and this is my third. I always take someone with me to my appointments for moral support and it helps a lot. I was dreading the 20 week scan and actually have to go back tommorow for better heart pictures. I'm pretty much a nervous wreck lately. Although I really enjoy being pregnant, I will be relieved when I have my baby girl on the outside.

doozer1345 · January 2016

I am lately bc my doctor hasn't been very reliable lately which is making me think about switching doctor's at only 4 mos to go. I'd have to go to a doctor that is 30-45 min away which has thrown me into an even worse anxious state. Before this though I was anxious bc I was so sick my first tri. Since my 2nd tri I've had a sounder mind about this pg. Just try and take everything one day at a time. Sometimes with emotions it's one minute or hour at a time. Maybe making a list of things that are making you anxious so you can see everything at one time and then make solutions or plans to take the edge off of each?? Example: worst case scenario with a new pain: research/talk to your doctor about it and any options for alleviating the pain or resources of things you can read up on about it.

JennyS86 · January 2016

My first pregnancy was also complicated by horrendous morning sickness (that makes all of us in this thread?!) and preterm labor & delivery of twins. They were a result of infertility treatments, and this pregnancy was spontaneous (so exciting and unexpected!). There was some anxiety during that pregnancy, but the real anxiety set in during the nicu stay and the first several months at home.

So, I knew there would be some anxiety this time around. Things had been going pretty well. Like the OP, I often sleep restlessly the night before each appt (every 2 weeks). Unfortunately, I've also been having some symptoms of uterine irritability/braxton hicks/preterm labor. I will be discussing this more on Monday at my next cervical length ultrasound appt with MFM.

I'm 20weeks now and I am focused now on getting through the next 6-8 weeks. I believe anxiety needs to be minimized in order to decrease unwanted inflammation. My techniques include prayer and meditation, tea & hot chocolate, perusing the Bump, etc. I've decided that to feel like I am "doing something" to prevent preterm labor, I'm going to increase my fluid intake and rest/put my feet up as much as possible. I'm not exercising, and I'm eating plenty. I am anxious about me rather than anxious about the baby - I hope that stays true after my anatomy scan on Monday. I understand that I can only do so much; I am at peace with letting the rest go.

mello13 · January 2016

I've been feeling the same way this time around. I think for me it's because I have been through it, and I realize what a roulette it all is. I'm normally a very optimistic person, but the anxiety has firmly gripped me this time. I had complications with my first pregnancy (marginal cord insertion, GD, preterm birth, massive hemorrhage) but in the end my little guy and I were ok. He was/is absolutely perfect, but I feel afraid that I won't be so lucky again (even though thus far this pregnancy has been complication free). Also, as terrible as it sounds, I have another child, a child here that I love and hold and cannot imagine my life without! And I worry now (because of the serious complications with his birth) about something happening to me during this birth, and no longer being here for him. It sounds awful, but he is my child right now, whereas the one in my belly, that I do love, is still "yet to be". Needless to say, my anxiety is through the roof most days, and I'll just be very happy once baby girl is out and everyone is alright.

To answer the coping question, I am honest with my doctor, share my fears with my husband and close friends that can relate, and I pray... A lot! I also reassure myself with the facts (instead of fears) that things are going very well, the doctor has told me I have no reason to fear and that everything points to a smooth labor and birth, etc. It's a daily battle, to be sure. But I am just looking toward being happy and healthy with our family complete at the end.

townsley2015 · January 2016

Glad I'm not alone! Thanks ladies, all your coping ideas are great to hear. I'm definitely doing most of them but still nice to hear them

hellogoodbye2 · January 2016

Although I'm not any more anxious this time around, I am definitely more emotional!

cortney626 · January 2016

I've definitely been more anxious this pregnancy. With DD#1 I was 24 and more naive I think. I was newly married and had a textbook pregnancy. Now 8 years later, I've been a mom for that long and know much more of what can go wrong, etc. Plus being a mom to an 8 year old, I know how much I already love this baby. Just different experience. I wasn't this nervous or worried last time.

kbrands7 · January 2016

I'm probably less anxious about the pregnancy this time around only because the things that worried me with DS (lots of cramping, 2 SCH, bad MS, breech presentation at end with c-section, etc) have happened this time to...well, this baby is most often breech now. It's a coin toss if he'll stay that way. I think if this pregnancy had been radically different rather than only somewhat different, I'd be very anxious too. At this point, I'm more nervous about the post-partum period and the very real possibility of recovering from a c-section with both a newborn and a toddler. Or the prospect of a VBAC with worst case scenario

I saw an OB last time who wasn't my regular one (I have to rotate and she just rejoined the practice), and when we were discussing VBAC vs RCS, she was very pro-CS and kept bringing up rupture and the possibility of losing the baby during birth along with my uterus. Thanks, doc. It's made me feel like a sh*tty mother who is playing with fire for still preferring to try the vbac if this baby is in the right position and brought in so much doubt.

emma+karen · January 2016

Someone told me early in my pregnancy, when I was driving myself crazy with all the things that could go wrong, "Once you have one healthy baby, you realize what a miracle it is, and it's hard to believe you could get another miracle, another perfect healthy child." I think that made me feel a little better somehow, and I've been less anxious since. Yes, two miracles seems impossible--but it happens to women every day! Thinking about that has helped soothe my anxiety with this second pregnancy.

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