2U2 moms anyone starting to freak?

rlwright20 · January 2016

I'm due March 3rd and having a little girl. I have an almost 15 month old little boy and I'm starting to freak out about having 2U2. I feel like my son is at a really tough age and throwing tons of tantrums!! I can't imagine how it's going to be with a newborn!! Anyone else??

blueeyedrose86 · January 2016

I'm not in your situation, but I do remember thinking how difficult it would be to have another around when DD was that age. I've heard many moms say they love that age gap though, so there's hope yet!

skruhmin · January 2016

I'm a little nervous about it but trying not to dwell on it. DS2 will be 20 months when I deliver this one. I was just talking with my husband about how we are just now getting back to full nights of sleep and then we will be thrown into no sleep again - I think that's the scariest part about it. Honestly I think it will be easier after delivery than trying to chase after a toddler while in third trimester. Rely on all of your help - your husband, any friends, relatives.

cmerribury · January 2016

Just wanted to provide a different perspective in the hope it may ease your mind a bit...

My DS1 will be 5.5 when this newborn gets here, which means he's totally independent (gets his own breakfast, goes to the bathroom on his own AND remembers to wash his hands, brushes his own teeth, has chores, plays by himself, and when he wakes up in the middle of the night I just send him back to bed). I haven't even changed a diaper in over 3 years. I honestly don't know what I was thinking letting there be this much of a gap, and I'm terrified of the sleepless nights all over again. Maybe having 2U2 will be good because as they grow, they'll grow out of things together, and into entertaining (and probably occasionally torturing) one another?

I don't know. I'm sure there's no perfect age differential, but I hope that helps. A little.

jmathi0149 · January 2016

I will have 2u2 and I am definitely freaking out. DS will be 19 months old and is so busy! I'm nervous about how he is going to be with me nursing. Getting him out of the house to do anything is such a challenge. I can't imagine getting 2 ready.

ceds07 · January 2016

I second what @cmerribury said :-) DD is 3, almost 3.5 and I'm super scared about essentially starting over. From everything I've heard from friends, 2U2 (and specifically, the closer age gaps) are indeed really hard for a bit of time but then its AWESOME and you sort of adjust so their schedules parallel each other and most important, they have built in playmates for life! Just throwing in a couple of words of encouragement :-)

jenniferamcooper · January 2016

Ours will be 26 months apart and I'm really concerned when my big guy stops daycare in May. I have a month and a bit with just the baby during the day and that'll be fine but 2 at once will be so hard! I'm basing this on the fact my first didn't sleep for the first 9 months, 1 hour awake, 1 hour asleep. I may be sleep training early for the sake of my sanity!

Knottie59802221 · January 2016

I'm planning on doing 2U2 but still cooking the first one currently. My cousin has kids that are 14 months apart and she said it was the best choise she ever made. The first year was awful and stressful and then they became best friends and play with each other and help her out a lot. They're currently 7 and 8ish.

irenewslee · January 2016

I think I panicked more in the beginning when I found out I was pregnant with #2. Now that I have quite some time to process it, it is what it is and I can do nothing to change it. DD is super clingy which worries me a bit, thinking that I may have the whole family of 4 sleeping in the same room also worries me, and NOT being able to have quality sleep for awhile is also concerning. I think the first year isn't the worst. DD was relatively easy during her first year (apart from days when she got sick) but now she is very active and becoming more demanding. She will be about 21 months when DS is born. So far she loves babies but we'll see once DS starts to take her toys when he gets a tad bit older.

Jessimuca · January 2016

I think I've been blocking that aspect out. I'm more focused on that fact that I think I've also blocked out the newborn phase details from last time (I had a really rough go of the hormones and breastfeeding).

I was reading the 0-3 month board and was like "uhhhhh, I don't remember any of this." Hopefully, it's like getting back on a bike....

parenthood4 · January 2016

I'm getting a little nervous too. My first two are 21 months apart, and it was pretty rough at first. Now these two will be just under two years apart, which means we are about to have three kids under four. I stay home with them and sometimes I feel like I'm not going to make it! Especially this summer when they are all home all the time, since the three year old is in preschool three mornings a week right now.

But I just keep telling myself that other people do it and so I can too! Just going to try to cut myself some slack until we adjust - with cleaning, cooking, screen time, etc. We'll figure it out!

GraysonsMama · January 2016

I too well have 2u2. My son will be 22 months when this one is born and I am terrified. He's just started really throwing things and that's scary. He is also very jealous when I hold another baby. I most concerned about the sleeping thing. We're currently working through a sleep regression and it just brought everything back. Giving each the attention they need is also a concern. I will be happy not to be sick anymore, but still pretty nervous.

ReggieBear · January 2016

I am terrified - I am having a c-section for #2 two days before #1's first birthday - so for two days I will have 2 under 1! I do not think I have wrapped my head around the whole two children thing but I know it will all work out.

ehowa499 · January 2016

DD will be nearly 23 months when LO is born. My biggest worry is how to manage potty training with a nursing infant. How the heck does one rush a toddler to the potty with a newborn? DD is just starting to show interest and intent but we aren't pushing her, and she is such a petite child that she can't even get on and off the potty by herself. FX she grows a couple inches in the next few months

Katherine8908 · January 2016

The thing im most worried about is sleeping .. Right now DS who will be turning 2 in feb is not a great sleeper unless he is in our room which is a habit I need to break before march ugh and second at some point DS#1 and Baby #2 DS will have to share a room and I dont know how thats going to work out either and the only thing DH Says is dont worry it will work out ..

skruhmin · January 2016

ehowa499 said:

DD will be nearly 23 months when LO is born. My biggest worry is how to manage potty training with a nursing infant. How the heck does one rush a toddler to the potty with a newborn? DD is just starting to show interest and intent but we aren't pushing her, and she is such a petite child that she can't even get on and off the potty by herself. FX she grows a couple inches in the next few months

We took on potty training with DS1 when DS2 was a newborn (he was around a month old when DH decided it was time). Worst decision of our lives - so stressful. Do not try it!

ceds07 · January 2016

ehowa499 said:

DD will be nearly 23 months when LO is born. My biggest worry is how to manage potty training with a nursing infant. How the heck does one rush a toddler to the potty with a newborn? DD is just starting to show interest and intent but we aren't pushing her, and she is such a petite child that she can't even get on and off the potty by herself. FX she grows a couple inches in the next few months

Unsolicited opinion but showing an interest and actually being ready are two totally different things. Unless she can physically go to the bathroom by herself I would honestly just leave it for as long as possible or wait until you're in a groove with LO to turn attention back to it!

ClaireBear90 · January 2016

Mine weren't quite 2U2 . . . there's a 25 month gap. There will be an exactly 2 yr gap between #2 and #3. I was so terrified of having a newborn and a young toddler though. It all went so much better than I expected though. We took things very easy for the first months. We'd try to get out of the house most days just to go for a walk or run an errand. DS would sleep right through story time at the library, etc., so it wasn't too hard. I can't recommend a good baby carrier enough. I depended on ours like crazy whenever we went anywhere so that my hands were free for DD and it was handy at home too. You'll also find that most people will jump to help you if they see that you need an extra pair of hands when you're out and about.

Family was also great about lavishing DD with lots of attention in the early days so she didn't feel neglected.

If your LO is at all interested in books, there's a book called "We Have a Baby" that I read to DD over and over before DS was born. She loved trying to help with the new baby just like the big sibling in the book. It's SUPER simple and very positive, unlike a lot of books about being a big brother or sister.

@ehowa499 I started potty training DD using the "potty train your kid in a weekend" method (I don't know if it has an official name or not haha). DS was 2 months old at the time, which was perfect because he still slept many hours during the day. We used a little potty rather than the toilet because it made it easier for her to go herself. I pretty much did nothing except potty train her and nurse the baby that weekend, but she got it.

jenniferamcooper · January 2016

I think the thing the scared the beejebus out of me is that we have the kids sharing a nursery, and we're not entirely sure how it'll work out. It's such a large space so we're hoping it's an okay transition. I *really* don't want to move with a toddler and newborn if we don't need to.

ehowa499 · January 2016

ceds07 said:

ehowa499 said:

DD will be nearly 23 months when LO is born. My biggest worry is how to manage potty training with a nursing infant. How the heck does one rush a toddler to the potty with a newborn? DD is just starting to show interest and intent but we aren't pushing her, and she is such a petite child that she can't even get on and off the potty by herself. FX she grows a couple inches in the next few months

Unsolicited opinion but showing an interest and actually being ready are two totally different things. Unless she can physically go to the bathroom by herself I would honestly just leave it for as long as possible or wait until you're in a groove with LO to turn attention back to it!

Doesn't count as an unsolicited opinion when I posted about it! I love getting input. I think she's not really ready yet, but want to encourage her when she says she wants to go to the potty. She can pull her pants down, and diaper too if she is in a slip-on. I figure with my luck she is going to insist on using potty starting a week before LO is due

but I'm hoping she will wait a month or two. DH wants her potty trained NOW of course. I've had some friends IRL tell me the worst thing they ever did was potty train with a newborn @skruhmin. @ClaireBear90 I'm going to have to check into that method and try it out when the time is right!

irenewslee · January 2016

ceds07 said:

Unsolicited opinion but showing an interest and actually being ready are two totally different things. Unless she can physically go to the bathroom by herself I would honestly just leave it for as long as possible or wait until you're in a groove with LO to turn attention back to it!

Not sure if DD is ready but she would tell us "poo poo" and walk herself to the bathroom and wait for us to pull her pants off sometimes. We were successful for about 3-4 times in the last two weeks which is great. Sometimes it's just a false alarm. At daycare she would also do the same thing. We are slowly teaching her to pull off her pants and thinking about buying one of those potty train toilets so she can walk up to it if she wants to. I think she is still young but it would be nice to not have to buy diapers for two.

ehowa499 · January 2016

DD will tell us "poopy" too. I figured out the other day that a lot of times her false alarms were farts- she must feel them and think farts are poop too.

alligreer88 · January 2016

I won't have 2u2, I'm more in the starting over camp. I know a lot, or most, women have more than 1 child but I'm really concerned how I feel feel with two. I feel like dd1 will do really well, we just visited my sister for a week who has a 5 month old(plus 3 older) and she did great. There's days where I have such a connection with dd1 I wonder how I will have that again, or with two. I also know that regardless of how good or bad it is I will be harsh on myself for not balancing it correctly. There are also days where dd1 and I can't seem to connect, I'm short on patience with her and can't even process how I would do all that with a newborn up at night and nursing constantly. I also like my sleep, I'm that person who can always nap, or sleep 12 hours a day. I did fine getting up with dd1 to nurse, etc. so hopefully it comes back to me. Dd1 slept through the night at 7 weeks, gave up paci at 10 months and didn't even seem to notice, transitioned from nursing to bottle and then to formula no issues, is never sick, never had to move from bottles to cup it just sort of happened, and was potty trained at 22 months. My family is convinced this baby will be terrible!! I was young, in a new relationship(we got pregnant 4 months into dating) had a new job, etc. totally prepared on paper this time, yet feeling more stressed. Maybe I'm just more aware or have higher expectations for myself.

am7rice · January 2016

I have 2u2 now. They are 16m apart. Some days are hard. Some days are easy. But it's nice now since they can play together. DS will be 3 when #3 comes. And DD will be 20m. You will figure it out.

oceanchild · January 2016

My first 2 were 13 months apart. It was awesome; I actually loved it! Now they are great playmates. My third will be exactly 2y when #4 gets here, and I had really hoped to have them spaced closely like the first two (who are now 5 and 4), but we had a mc - they would have been 17m apart.
Don't stress too much … it doesn't do anything but make you anxious. You will figure it out as you go along and rock it!

shakeweights · January 2016

My daughter will be 21 months when baby boy is born and yes, I'm freaking out a little bit. But I don't think it's because I'll have 2u2 - I think it's because I'm having a baby!!! I went from 'ok I'm ready for baby to be here' to 'oh crap, I'm not ready yet!' (I did the same when I was pregnant with DD). LOL! The thought of starting over and having an itty bitty waking up every 2 hours and not getting sleep, etc. is the frightening part to me! Ha!

Dondonbutterfly · January 2016

I will have 9 under 10 in March!!! Not even kidding. It's very hard but I wouldn't change it for the world. It's definitely harder for my husband, but as far as men go, he's really good about it. Whenever you guys feel overwhelmed, think of us! You do just fine!

Want a personalized experience?

2U2 moms anyone starting to freak?

Re: 2U2 moms anyone starting to freak?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards