Intro: Still really sad but not giving up

susykat77 · December 2015

Hi ladies, I have been lurking for a few days and wanted to introduce myself. We have been TTC for ~18months and just experienced our first loss this past Thursday. DH and I moved to the Czech Republic to undergo IVF back in June and, after 6 months, are headed home this weekend. We went through 3 full IVF cycles with fresh transfers, a natural IVF cycle with nothing to transfer, and our BFP was a result of a FET with our only 2 frosties in October (all the details are in my siggy). I found out at 9w1d that my little bean stopped developing at about 7w3d after seeing the HB at 6w5d. I had planed to miscarry naturally but after speaking to a friend who has experienced a miscarriage she suggested that traveling on a plane or train and having a miscarriage would be miserable so I went to the doctor (we are currently in Spain) and they gave me cytotec. I was told to expect a heavy period... I am not sure what y'alls periods are like but that was the most painful thing I have ever experienced!!

Anyway, we kind of have a plan in place moving forward. We left frozen sperm at the clinic in Prague and they are looking for a donor (I am 38 and my AMH is 0.1) as that makes the most sense for us. In the meantime, we plan on trying naturally. I have heard (although it may be urban legend) that some women are more likely to fall pregnant after a miscarriage so we don't plan to wait --as long as when the time comes I feel emotionally ready. The only real issue I have read about is dating your pregnancy. Any other concerns I should be aware of while trying after a miscarriage before my next AF? I have an appointment with my OB the week after I return but if I ovulate this cycle the few days before would usually be my "fertile" window. I plan to resume temping if I can find a BBT thermometer before returning home.

Sorry for the long intro. From my lurking, y'all seem like a really supportive and informed community. I am sorry that we all find ourselves here but I am thankful for the support and hope to offer the same in return.

ceclarlinetlo · December 2015

I don't really have an answer for your questions but I just wanted to say that I'm so so sorry for your loss - I can't believe after all you went through for that pregnancy - to lose it like that is just so beyond unfair I don't even have words.

susykat77 · December 2015

Thank you @ceclarlinetlo I feel the same way!!

ssnova · December 2015

@susykat77 I'm very sorry for your loss...we were given the green light by our midwife to try again after our mc but before first af...there are so many advances in medicine dating won't be that big of a deal...I would keep a log of when you DTD and if you are keeping a log of your ovulation that's teally good too...both of those will help with dating. I wish you the best

susykat77 · December 2015

@ssnova Thank you for your response. I agree that dating seems like a moot point. And good idea with keeping track of when we DTD.

crob5685 · December 2015

@susykat77 sorry for your loss, it sound like this has been quite the journey for you thus far. FX your journey comes to a happy ending soon!

BornReady · December 2015

Welcome over here and sorry again for your loss. What a journey you have had. Fingers crossed that the end of your adventure is a good one.

I hear you on the starting right away too. We did wait for my first period, but from what I've read the literature doesn't seem to give much credence to the "wait 2-3 cycles" that I think is the standard advice. Good luck!

ssnova · December 2015

@susykat77 I have one of those free fertility trackers on my phone so I have everything logged on that, makes it so much easier. the one i used is called Ovia fertility and I really like it

catiecatp · January 2016

I just miscarried a week ago - I met with my doctor today and she said to not worry about dating - if there was a concern then we could have an early u/s around 7 weeks to date the pregnancy with the fetal pole measurements... If you are testing your temperature you should be able to pin point the time of ovulation pretty well. There are a lot of apps out there - I personally use OvaGraph - but you could also print out a chart to fill out from www.tcoyf.com (and they have a Celsius version too).

Good luck!

megsbrock · January 2016

@susykat77 other than dating, I was not advised of any other reason to hold off on TTC. If you are feeling up to it emotionally, and your doctor has given you the green light, you go for it girl.

I also wanted to say how much I admire your journey and commitment to expanding your family. You are so strong and you seem like you have a great attitude about it all. Hugs!

cjs260 · January 2016

@susykat77 sending internet hugs your way. I'm so sorry you have to be here.

I agree with the PPs and think that if you're up to it and your body seems up to it (no extended bleeding, weird smells, or fevers) then go for it. FX for you, and we're all here for you to lean on.

Intro: Still really sad but not giving up

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