Love getting the stinkeye at the dr office

chels0120 · January 2016

Went in for my appointment to get the results of my blood work and the receptionist took me back for my OB work up paperwork. I explained to her that we haven't decided if we wanted to stay with the OBGYN or go with a midwife. She looked at my like I grew two heads!! Ugh. I have a feeling I'll be dealing with a lot of this attitude if we go with a midwife. Anyone else deal with this?!

PugsandKisses · January 2016

So... why did you tell them that? You need to decide and then make your move.
To be honest, I would have side eyed you too.

Nikko Blue · January 2016

I believe at my office you decide around 20 weeks if you want to be seen by the doctors or the midwives for the duration of your pregnancy. They have both available. Are there midwives in the practice or would you have to go elsewhere? If it will mean leaving, you really should decide soon.

carcrashheart · January 2016

Yeah I don't know why you would say anything. I've left a lot of doctors so I support leaving and doing what is best for you but I don't tell them that. I simply move on and let the new office do the records request to get my info. No big deal. By stating you don't know what you will do sort of made it out to be a thing.

If I wanted to see a midwife that's a decision I would make before starting with an ob. So I'd make that decision fairly soon.

noelietrex · January 2016

Why would you tell the OB that? I'm sure their office staff has an opinion and unless you're looking for someone to talk you into or out of a decision...

I am using a midwife and definitely get sh!t about it when it comes up. You need to do your research, make up your mind, and then proceed however you're comfortable. Telling people about these personal choices or trying to justify your decisions is fruitless and unnecessary and it will just open you up to criticism and debate.

chels0120 · January 2016

Lol I honestly just wanted to save the girl some time of not filling out all the paperwork when we are pretty certain we are going with a midwife. I had 4 miscarriages in the last year and with my insurance was easier to stick with an OB until we were to the point of feeling comfortable of the viability with this pregnancy. I had my blood work done before Christmas and wanted to get the results because I won't be able to get in to my midwife until the end of the month when she gets back to town. I don't feel the need to justify or be convinced. It is such a personal decision that was only up for debate between me and my husband. And we are both on board

I just find it funny they get so nose in the air when you want to go a different route.

MillieT09 · January 2016

I've seen this before and I feel ya! - the OB nurses are so rude and snarky to the people who see the midwives - I can't stand it. My midwife group just joined a new hospital and they now share an office with the OBs from that hospital. And the hospital already had a midwife group so I have no idea why they are so put off about but rudeness is totally uncalled for. I've even witnessed them disregard a patient's wish to see the midwife while there in the office until the patient made enough fuss about it.
Them being rude would be enough for me to decide to go with the midwife.
Honestly, I've been with my midwife group since I was 17 yrs old and they are wonderful and I feel very fortunate to be able to be delivering with them!

sayerhart · January 2016

My family doctor was a little rude with me when I told her I was using a midwife. Where I am from you have to go on a wait list for a midwife, you don't automatically get one. At first, I didn't get one so had to go back to my doctor for a referral to an OB. Then, thank friggen goodness, I got a midwife! So I awkwardly had to call my doctor and tell her. I could really care less what she thinks. I do what I want! Don't let other people's looks or opinions bring you down. It's your body, your choice!

born2run911 · January 2016

To me it sounds more like the receptionist was side-eyeing you because the OB's office has put in all of the initial ground work in getting to know you and doing initial testing and paperwork only for you to leave them and go to a midwife. Not simply because of your decision to use a midwife.

MDmomma1217 · January 2016

She probably gave you attitude because you told her you aren't sure who you will be seeing...I would think that it would be best to decide soon so you get to know your provider, whoever you decide to stick with. That way you feel more comfortable with the doc or midwives throughout the rest of your pregnancy.

I currently see a group of midwives, same group I saw when I was pregnant with DD. They rotate all of the appointments, so you have a good chance of seeing each one at least several times and get to know them, because you won't know who is on call at the hospital when you deliver. When DD was born, the midwife who delivered her was a provider I only saw once, very early into the pregnancy. She was great (as all of them are).

Nikko Blue · January 2016

born2run911 said:

To me it sounds more like the receptionist was side-eyeing you because the OB's office has put in all of the initial ground work in getting to know you and doing initial testing and paperwork only for you to leave them and go to a midwife. Not simply because of your decision to use a midwife.

Agreed. If you told them you were leaving at some point to go to another doctor, you'd get the same response.

Is it possible to find another practice that has both OBs and midwives if insurance is an issue?

chels0120 · January 2016

There are no practices here with both. It's very one sided. Either you do an OB and deliver in a hospital or you go with a midwife and home birth. We currently have no facilities with both. And the OB office has done very little as far as initial ground work with me. He saw me once after I confirmed myself (I'm a sonographer so I did my own ultrasound) I was still pregnant to get my rhogam shot since I had significant bleeding. Then today to go over my blood work. Both times I saw the doctor for less than 5 minutes. As I said earlier I've had several losses and didn't want to start with a midwife if I was going to miscarry early again and just need a rhogam shot. I understand them not sharing my ideals with what I'd like with my care which is why I'm switching. And I don't let the stink eye bug me. I just found it silly.

Taymiller · January 2016

born2run911 said:
To me it sounds more like the receptionist was side-eyeing you because the OB's office has put in all of the initial ground work in getting to know you and doing initial testing and paperwork only for you to leave them and go to a midwife. Not simply because of your decision to use a midwife.

This^^^ 100% you stuck with the ob until you felt comfortable to switch to the midwife. They saw you through the viability and then you just leave. I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that you switched to a midwife. Doctors work with midwives allllllll the time!

MrsRo731 · January 2016

I'm not sure why you'd tell them you were considering leaving and what you expected their reaction to be.

Image: https://i.giphy.com/xtc15Nu4ODSQE.gif

dolewhipper · January 2016

I agree with all the recent PPs. You're using their business and services even though you wish to go somewhere else; you're wasting their time when they could be seeing a patient that wants to deliver with them. I would side eye, too.

LinzerBinzer · January 2016

On my very first appointment I asked the OB (I'm new to their practice) about the midwives in the same hospital, specifically how they work together at delivery. He was very kind and explained how it worked, then said that it's not a big deal either way - he has a couple of patients every month that are going to or coming from the midwives. He didn't make me think one was better than the other. I think if you talk to the doctor rather than the front desk staff and ask questions rather than telling them you may leave you'd probably get a different response than you did.

CupcakesRamazing · January 2016

chels0120 said:
There are no practices here with both. It's very one sided. Either you do an OB and deliver in a hospital or you go with a midwife and home birth. We currently have no facilities with both. And the OB office has done very little as far as initial ground work with me. He saw me once after I confirmed myself (I'm a sonographer so I did my own ultrasound) I was still pregnant to get my rhogam shot since I had significant bleeding. Then today to go over my blood work. Both times I saw the doctor for less than 5 minutes. As I said earlier I've had several losses and didn't want to start with a midwife if I was going to miscarry early again and just need a rhogam shot. I understand them not sharing my ideals with what I'd like with my care which is why I'm switching. And I don't let the stink eye bug me. I just found it silly.

Sooo where do you work that you can give yourself free ultrasounds? Are you a fetal sonographer so you know all what you're looking for?

PugsandKisses · January 2016

CupcakesRamazing said:

chels0120 said:
There are no practices here with both. It's very one sided. Either you do an OB and deliver in a hospital or you go with a midwife and home birth. We currently have no facilities with both. And the OB office has done very little as far as initial ground work with me. He saw me once after I confirmed myself (I'm a sonographer so I did my own ultrasound) I was still pregnant to get my rhogam shot since I had significant bleeding. Then today to go over my blood work. Both times I saw the doctor for less than 5 minutes. As I said earlier I've had several losses and didn't want to start with a midwife if I was going to miscarry early again and just need a rhogam shot. I understand them not sharing my ideals with what I'd like with my care which is why I'm switching. And I don't let the stink eye bug me. I just found it silly.
Sooo where do you work that you can give yourself free ultrasounds? Are you a fetal sonographer so you know all what you're looking for?

I don't know where you are, but this is unethical.

CupcakesRamazing · January 2016

PugsandKisses said:

CupcakesRamazing said:

chels0120 said:
There are no practices here with both. It's very one sided. Either you do an OB and deliver in a hospital or you go with a midwife and home birth. We currently have no facilities with both. And the OB office has done very little as far as initial ground work with me. He saw me once after I confirmed myself (I'm a sonographer so I did my own ultrasound) I was still pregnant to get my rhogam shot since I had significant bleeding. Then today to go over my blood work. Both times I saw the doctor for less than 5 minutes. As I said earlier I've had several losses and didn't want to start with a midwife if I was going to miscarry early again and just need a rhogam shot. I understand them not sharing my ideals with what I'd like with my care which is why I'm switching. And I don't let the stink eye bug me. I just found it silly.
Sooo where do you work that you can give yourself free ultrasounds? Are you a fetal sonographer so you know all what you're looking for?
I don't know where you are, but this is unethical.

Agreed pugs

MotherOfDucks · January 2016

You never tell them you're thinking about leaving. It's just kinda rude. And if you are wanting to go with a midwife, you'd better get on that. Popular ones book fast.

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Love getting the stinkeye at the dr office

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