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September 2016 Moms
reesaXden
member
PGAL check-in 1/04
reesaXden
member
Weeks:
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?:
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes:
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety?
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?:
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes:
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety?
Re: PGAL check-in 1/04
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: I got perfect numbers on my first lab draw and my dr said they didn't need repeated. The more I thought about it, the more stressed I got, I wanted to make sure they were doubling. So.... I called and asked to have them repeated to ease my mind and my OB didn't mind at all. Going in tomorrow and should have results on Wednesday morning. After that, the next step is ultrasound on January 22nd!
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Feeling pretty sick already and Im so excited! I didn't have many symptoms at all with my loss so I'm welcoming this with open arms!!
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? I haven't found the perfect way and I doubt I ever will. Right now, I just keep my sights set on the next appointment/milestone... Everyday just puts me closer.
I try to just be thankful. Thankful that we got another shot at adding to our family, thankful for my 4 yr old... Just thankful.
Also, I've been rubbing my tummy and sort of talking to our little bean. May seam silly to some but it's actually very calming.
Hugs to all of the PGAL ladies.
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: I have an appointment on Thursday to check my levels and ultrasound. I can't barely contain the anxiousness and excitement but thinking positive
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I continue to have the good feeling of everything being alright this time around. Hopefully it sticks and so does a healthy baby!
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety?
Sometimes I find myself reading loss threads and can get pretty down. I need to remind myself that there are plenty of healthy baby moms out there that DONT make their own threads because there is no need! That's when I go lurk BMBs. It's fun to read how well some women are doing
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: I'm really looking forward to getting an ultrasound scheduled. My fears will be put to rest once I can see a heartbeat, and it'll also make this pregnancy feel "real".
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I took another test this morning and the line is just as dark, if not darker than two days ago so I'm feeling pretty good about this for now!
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? Honestly, my anxiety won't stop until I have an ultrasound. I find myself trying not to get too attached emotionally to my pregnancy until that point, just in case. I try not to let the fear take over my brain, and I try and focus on the good signs like positive tests and symptoms. I'm also very thankful that I've been able to get pregnant without too much effort and carry two healthy babies to full term. I do realize how lucky I am to have been given this opportunity.
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: I have my first round of bloodwork tomorrow, keeping fingers crossed for that.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: my bloat-a-belly
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? That my DS is living proof that it's possible for me to carry out a 40-wk pregnancy!
Next milestone: I go do paper and blood work on Thursday. But won't see my OB until Feb 9 (10w4d) and I think I will go nuts having to wait that long without seeing that baby is ok after last time.
Positive: my boobs hurt-a lot. My husband laughs cause I feel them constantly during the day, to be sure they still hurt haha
GTKY: honestly nothing is calming my anxiety. I'm terrified and scared to talk about the future and this baby. But, today I'm pregnant so I have to try and enjoy today.
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: I have my first appointment tomorrow. I should get blood work done then as well.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: my boobs are a little sore they were not with my last pregnancy. I have also been having cramps I guess from the growing uterus. I also tested on the digital and it said 3+ weeks so that excited me.
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? To speak positively over our baby and pray lots. Also looking at DS and knowing I have had a healthy baby already.
5w4d EDD is Sept 1st
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?:
Next Monday, the 11th will be my first ultrasound. I am really scared and exited at the same time, I really hope we get to hear a heartbeat... last time I never got to hear one. So while I realize I am pregnant now, I don't feel like we will have a baby yet, at least not until we hear a heartbeat.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes:
I got my beta results yesterday, did them on 16dp5dt because of the holidays and it was 2740 so that's good news.
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety?
It's is hard to be positive but I told myself I would try to be neutral at least. Not assume this will end in another loss. Everyday I feel a little better. Plus my husband puts his hands on my belly and whispers to the embryo to stick there and grow, it is silly but it makes me feel better.
@JLmama118 I know exactly how you feel when you say that it does not feel "real". Like I know for now I am pregnant but I still do not believe that we will have a baby, not really, not until we hear a heartbeat.
@Redmar Good luck on your bloodwork tomorrow. Hope you get good results.
And @reesaXden Thanks for taking charge of starting this thread. This feels like a safe place to check in and talk about what I feel with people who really understand.
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: First ultrasound is on Thursday (1/7). It was originally supposed to be the day before, but got moved back because my RE won't be in that day. Really looking forward to it, although I'm (understandably, I think) anxious.
Rant: My husband managed to kick me in the upper abdomen last night. It was an accident and I really doubt he did the baby any harm (especially since s/he is so well protected down in my pelvis this early on), but I really didn't need the stress of something else to worry about. On the plus side, I haven't had any spotting or an increase in cramping. I'm telling myself everything is going to be fine. It's not like I was in a car accident and broke my pelvis.
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? Just trying to think positive has been the biggest thing I could do. For me, it's so easy to fall into negative/"what if" thinking, so I'm trying very hard not to let myself start to drift in that direction. That and the passing of time helps. Every day that goes by with me still pregnant makes me feel a little safer and more secure. It also helps that I've passed the point where my last pregnancy ended, so just knowing that I've made it farther than I did before is reassuring.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C :'(
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks :'(
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d :'(
I had a really high beta that made me think for a second that I may be twins too, but then I only transferred one embryo and we have no history of twins in our families at all. But I would not mind two babies at once, both healthy of course. After all it took to get here having two babies would be such a huge blessing.
My brother who had a 2 year old and a child on the way told me that it is good I transfer just one that I would be be able to handle twins and he does not wish it. I wanted to slap him and tell him "Just because you are overwhelmed does not mean I will be" plus they got pregnant on the 3rd and 1st try... I think he does not get I pictured myself already having two kids by now and thinking about a 3rd one.
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: I look forward to everyday that I am still pregnant. But definitely anticipating the first ultrasound on 1/26.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I am still having more positive thoughts this time around than I was with my loss. It is still weird to me how much better I feel. I have not had a lot of preg symptoms so that is worrisome at times but I think they are coming.
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? I like working my Perplexus and other than that work keeps me pretty busy. I also think I am more accepting of the whole process.
BFP #2 12/22/15, EDD 9/1/16
I have a feeling that it might be two (I swear, I had separate implantation pains on both sides and at different times, though that might be wishful thinking), but being a FTM, I really have no idea.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C :'(
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks :'(
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d :'(
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C :'(
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks :'(
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d :'(
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: tomorrow - it's my first beta
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I am very tired and feel like I had the flu. I remember being this sick with my son but not when I was pregnant with my losses
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? Feeling like shit
Jan 10, 2016: Cycle 16. Femara 5mg + IUI #3 - BFN.
Feb 10, 2016: Cycle 17. No IUI or meds. Taking a break - Natural BFP Mar 5, 2016!!!! EDD Nov 16, 2016
Moving to IVF March 2016
Beta at 10dpo: 21, Beta at 12dpo: 98, Beta at 14dpo: 264, Beta at 16dpo: 745
U/S 6w6d: single beautiful heartbeat of 121bpm - It's a boy!!!!
Nov 3, 2016: Our family became complete. Welcome DS #2.
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: high risk dr apt on the 27th
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: feeling good and even survived my first day back to school with my students ! I didn't get sick when pregnant with my son but my last pregnancy I felt sick a lot so I'm hoping I stay happy and healthy !
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety?
Continuing with only positive thoughts and prayers. Went to yoga tonight and it was great for my body and mind !!
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: first betas and u/s... Anxiously waiting for my OB to call back so those get scheduled ASAP.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: it doesn't feel real to me at all yet, even with the symptoms I have to keep telling myself "It's not a dream, Lizzie!!!"
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety?
I have really thrown myself into school and my exercise/diet regimens. Doing that with friends has been a welcome and reassuring distraction; even if this baby doesn't stick I'm still improving my body, and if it does I'm hopefully improving baby's health and making my future delivery easier!
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: with loss #2 I started bleeding during week 5 so I really want it to be next Monday when I switch to 6w. Then on to the ultrasound at 7w.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I'm freaking terrified. I mean I'm really happy, I'm feeling good but in the back of my head I can't stop feeling like I'm just waiting for the proverbial "other shoe" to drop. This week will certainly be very tough and I know I'm not going to really feel at ease at least until I'm past the first tri but I just want to enjoy and not worry constantly that I'm going to start bleeding or that they aren't going to find what they should at the US. Past experiences are tainting this experience and it really freaking sucks!
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety?
My numbers going up was helpful but really I haven't totally found comfort yet. With my first loss I still had symptoms and absolutely no indication of a problem at almost 12weeks so having symptoms isn't really reassuring. But then my second loss was a SCH and I almost bled out in the er so it's still better having symptoms and no sign of trouble than that catastrophe. Seeing my little fish in 2 weeks will be great, I saw my first lo at 8 weeks with a strong hb and measuring right on schedule but that didn't last so I know that 7 weeks isn't quite to the safe zone yet. I'm really struggling with this on so many levels so I'm trying my best to keep the mantra "today I am pregnant!" One day at a time.
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: I have my first appointment next week and cannot wait to book the ultrasound.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I'm terrified of the unknown. The first time the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and it took my body until 9 weeks to recognize this. I know the feeling of happiness from my son and I just want that again so badly.
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? I'm just going with the flow and trying to not think of the worst. Also not letting myself plan too far in the future is helping.
Does anyone else just wish others would treat you like this was a normal pregnancy?! It's not that I want anyone to forget about our loss but why must they always end things with "this time!"?
"Your pregnancy will go great, this time!" Everything will go perfect, this time!" "It's going to work out, this time!"
Why can't they just say they are praying for us, wish us well, etc!?
Everytime they say "this time" it just puts the thought of "maybe not" in my mind. It just somehow works doubt into my mind... Everytime.
Anyone have others saying these things? How do you respond or even handle the thoughts that come along?
I'll be having a great positive day and someone says something along those lines and doubt ruins the rest of the evening.
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: EDD for my 2nd loss is coming up in February. HCG draw today, will get the results tomorrow. OB's office will be calling me today to schedule first appointment.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Nothing here. Just legitimately terrified.
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? I haven't found anything that helps.
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: tomorrow betas coming back, last week 17.7 to 68.9 in 2 days so fx for a big leap!
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: wish I was comfortable saying "I'm pregnant just found out like 4 weeks" with out batting an eye. 2MC later I am terrified until I think nothing I do is going to change what's going to happen , every cramp i chEck the bathroom and assume the worst
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? just roll with the punches! Gotta have faith that it'll all work the way it should In the end
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: Beta draw tomorrow
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Can I talk to you guys about my anxiety being through the roof this time around? I had an early miscarriage (5 weeks) in September and I am absolutely terrified of it happening again. It takes me hours to fall asleep because I'm thinking of what could go wrong. Every time I think about the pregnancy, beta numbers, upcoming ultrasound, etc. I get sick to my stomach with fear. I'm trying so hard to focus on the positive-visualizing myself pregnant or taking maternity photos but these negative thoughts just creep back in and overwhelm me. I've had low grade nausea for the last 4-5 days and I woke up without it this morning so of course that has me worrying too (sudden lack of nausea preceded my miscarriage). Thanks for letting me rant...we haven't told anyone IRL yet so I feel very isolated with this.
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? I bought the book 'Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mothers Soul' and the stories help me stay positive.
I guess I am just no really confident yet...
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
She has been instrumental in helping me put things into perspective, let go of my guilt and remain positive. I've also been practicing yoga more regularly, and being mindful and present in the moment helps me from getting carried away thinking about the future and what happened in the past.
Sending lots of positive vibes and well wishes to all other PGAL ladies!
With my first 2 pregnancies we told family and close friends right away. With the last one I decided I wanted to announce at Christmas and keep it between my husband and I until then. It was awful. I decided I'd rather tell family right away and have their support then have to tell them I was pregnant and had another MC. We still haven't told DH's parents about our last loss because its so hard to introduce that to a conversation. DH asked me if I was sure I wanted to share so soon this time and I told him how I felt about it the last time. We both agreed it is better for our mental health to share.
What is the next milestone, date, etc.. you are looking forward to?: My big ultrasound at 7w1d on January 21st! Then, the following week I meet with my endocrinologist and my OB! I just need to get through the next couple of weeks.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I am feeling more positive about this pregnancy today...I really am excited, but after going through an ectopic pregnancy in Sept and having surgery to remove my right tube in early Oct, it's hard not to let the "what ifs" take over...I just really hope we get good news and see a heartbeat at our ultrasound!
GTKY: What have you found to be the most reassuring or calming thing to help with PGAL anxiety? My DH has been really helpful. Sometimes I start internally freaking out all of a sudden and he can always tell it's happening by the look on my face. He always helps me think more positively and says that he really believes it will be ok this time--which does make me feel better.
@Forever0905 I know, this is really stressful and it's so hard to stop the negative thoughts from creeping in all the time. We actually decided to tell our parents already about this pregnancy because they obviously knew about our ectopic and we felt that we wanted to have some extra support this time right from the beginning. My mom will be coming with me and DH to our first ultrasound. I am going to be a nervous wreck for that so I'm really happy that both of them are going to be able to come. Whenever I catch myself thinking the worst, I try to stop myself and say no, don't think that way. I try to just enjoy every day this baby is with me and that helps too. I know it is hard!!
And I was like... speechless, it really hit me hard. It seems harmless and silly I know but I wish that what was the most stressful to me right now was names. How I wish I was SO confident that I would have a baby that I could be angry at my husband for not liking my names. I don't care about names, I would let him pick all the names of our kids if it means I can have healthy babies. I would give anything not to constantly worry I will lose this baby too.
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
Sorry if I came across as insulting to this person. And I would never wish this upon anyone either.
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
I was it was that easy. But it is not an I think we could do a better job educating our kids. We recently did pass a reform on sexual education in Canada and it is a good start. It made a LOT of parents angry tho, they kept saying it is their right to educate their kids how they want, and I don't agree with that, not on this particular topic, not when health is at stake.
I think that is also why a lot of women who miscarry feel really alone. Cause it is not something most people talk about, since it is an "uncomfortable" topic, same with infertility.
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!