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Can anyone relate? (children mentioned)

hopeful99hopeful99 member
in Infertility
o I remarried at 38 and we have children separate from each other. I have a child with my ex and he has two teenaged children with his ex..  TTC has been a nightmare for us.. we started after the wedding and had a miscarriage last january.  I am now 39..  we just started with an RE and am having my tests done next week ( hsg and blood work) Is it hard for anyone else to watch your hubby with his kids with his ex?  i mean this was never so emotional like this until we started trying with no luck and had the miscarriage..  I feel like such a bad person for feeling jealous but it is hard not to knowing he was able to have that with his ex and not me.. I think of the future and it seriously depresses me.. thinking of weddings and grandchildren and so on.. we won't be grandparents together.. not in the same way.. There is a void there that might never be filled.. and i think the fact that i share a child with someone else and he shares two with someone else makes it hurt even more than normal.  i feel so wrong to be feeling this way. i just wonder if anyone else can relate? cause i feel pretty alone right now..  How do you get past the hurt?  I don't want it to impact our marriage..  
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Re: Can anyone relate? (children mentioned)

  • 2legbaby2legbaby member
    Hey @hopeful99 , I don't have experience with prior children, while just married, my husband and I are each others first spouses. That being said, you feel how you feel and sometimes infertility can make you redirect  that frustration elsewhere even if it's not productive. My best friend often reminds me about my situation, pointing out  that I am very type A, I have always achieved everything I have ever wanted, in school, career and then waited and found the most amazing husband, but I can't have a baby with him and nothing I can do will change this (we have failed IVF twice and are going tomorrow to discuss donor eggs). It is sometimes so hard to not be able to get this one thing that you want soooo much. Talk to your hubby and let him know how you feel and see how he feels about it too....wishing you all the best on your tests next week!
    ******TW*****
    Me 39 DH44
    Married 8/2/14
    TTC 9/14
    Dx: PCOS, blocked L fallopian tube, suspect poor egg quality
    MFI (low #, poor morphology)
    IVF #1 9/15 Failed
    IVF #2 12/15 Failed
    1st DE FET  5/16-BFN :(
    2nd DE FET 7/18-BFP :)
    8/17 Baby HR 140/min EDD 4/6/17
    Report Reply
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