Birth Partner Travel Limitations

Mommyduclos · January 2016

Excluding people who have no choice- work/ military/ etc, now that we are in the days where labor is an impending time bomb are you putting travel limitations on your birth support person? Like after 37 weeks must be within an hour of me at all times? Or are you all just going with the flow? My last labor was extremely fast and my DH barely made it and I really could have used his support during labor not just the pushing. I'm feeling extremely anxious about him missing labor again. He likes to hunt which tends to be a little farther away from our home than I would like. So I'm trying to decide how much drive time I am comfortable with so I wanted some feedback on what if anything you all are doing or would be comfortable with even if it's left unsaid.

failuretofly · January 2016

Well my husband's job site is currently located a 6 hour drive away, and we just decided he can go back for one week (give or take) tomorrow, I will be 36+5. But this is my first baby and we really have no idea how long I will labour, so I guess we are taking that risk. My midwife seemed pretty comfortable with the idea, but I guess we never really know.

CaraBoonie · January 2016

My husband works 20 minutes from home (and 10 minutes from our hospital), and the furthest away either of us would go on a normal day is an hour away (me to my mom's, him to his friend's), so I don't foresee it being an issue. He has been told that if work asks him to go on a business trip from this point on (36+) to decline and let a coworker go instead.

Monilee1017 · January 2016

No, where we live there isn't a reason to be more than 20 from my house. Please DH works for the hospital I'm delivering at. If I lived somewhere where traffic was bad or something I might consider it. But I'm lucky hospital and everything is close. DH did ask me this weekend of I'm going to make him stop playing flag football soon. But I told him he can play as long as his phone is on. plus family is close by so someone can pick me up and grab DH from football, it is literally two minutes from the hospital.

Sianyblews · January 2016

When I was about 34 weeks I had to have words with the husband about a work trip he was potentially going to be asked to go on. It was in France for a couple of days (we're in the UK) and it was just after the Paris attacks. I had to ask him how long he thought it would take him to get home and take me to the hospital even if all transport links were up and running, which put in into perspective for him. Plus showing him the babies on the announcement board!

His company were totally understanding and his supervisor is going in his place next week instead.

mamabear89071516 · January 2016

My husband works for the railroad fixing tracks, so he is often out in the middle of nowhere with only rail access to where he is. We joke about him having to hijack a piece of high rail equipment and getting to the hospital via rail. It's our first, and he's a little wound up about it so I hope that doesn't actually happen lol! Hopefully he can stick to mostly yard work nearer to my due date so he will be near a vehicle! Thankfully the yard is only 40mins from the hospital, 20 mins from home. I know I'll need him during labor...ill be a basket case with out him!

maureenmce · January 2016

My husband works only a few miles away, but we live in LA and during rush hour it's over an hour. Unfortunately, there's not much we can do about it, just hope I don't go into labor during terrible traffic times! But he's definitely not going on any trips, work or otherwise, from now until the baby is born.

SBH041815 · January 2016

It's ironic for me that this post just came up because DH and I just had quite an argument about this. He travels for work (to appointments) which can be negotiable as long as he works with his company on it. We talked about him being within a certain range, not more than a couple hours, after week 37. He approached his company and they were fine with it.
Well....they have forgotten and messed up the schedule twice(sending him to places 4 hours + away), once last week and once again for tomorrow. Last week he made a big deal about how he couldn't change it so I said fine but asked him what he would do if they scheduled another one for this week. He said he definitely wouldn't go because I'm too close to birth. They put one on his schedule 4 hours away for tomorrow. I am 38w+2.
I said, you ARE going to change this RIGHT? He is now acting like he can't and won't. I got so angry and said fine! If you miss the whole birth then you miss it! I will just figure out getting myself to the hospital and what to do with the two other children at home! Right now I just have no words. I feel lied to and just really unhappy. What a bunch of BS.

Edit: because I can't type

mrscammack · January 2016

My husband works about an hour away from our house and the hospital but depending on traffic his commute time could be up to 2 or 3 hours. He used to carpool in with his foreman in the company vehicle but I've told him he'll have to start driving his car in now that I'm 37 weeks since he'll need to be able to leave whenever I go into labour, if he drives in with someone else he's stuck at the job til the end of the workday which would suck if I went into labour early in the day!

Emott13 · January 2016

I feel so lucky hearing these stories. We searched for a bit over two years to find the house we just moved in to, and it's only one intersection away from DH's work. He occasionally gets called to satellite offices but since he works for the city, it's never further than the city limits, and we live in a small suburban town. The one exception he gets to make is playing hockey on Sundays, but then I usually go with him and take DD to watch the games, so if anything did happen he'd be right there with me, anyway. Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with anything more than half an hour away.

StephEppie · January 2016

We've had our share of conversations regarding extracaricular actives putting him out of reach. Luckily with work he's close to the hospital, about 15 mins, home is only 30-50 mins from work and then the hospital is 20-30 from home (yup if he's at work and I need him home to get me he has to back track after he picks me up, oh well we like our hospital a lot even though there is a closer one to home, 5 mins). His work doesn't require him to have any outtings or offsite work which is great. It's just hobbies and outtings with friends that has me worried. He plays hockey 2 nights a week (I'm still working up to the 15th, so I don't go to games with him currently) and we had to talk about him needing to bring his phone out to the bench instead of in the locker room starting this week. Or else he'd be getting a message from the rink to get his ass home lol. I really hope we don't go into labor on a hockey night while he's playing Bc I don't want to deal with hockey stink on him, I'll have to hold her in until he can shower and not reek lol.
The conversations haven't been the funniest Bc it's a first and I over stress and have anxiety in general, so I feel I need to talk things to death. But he's *hopefully* finally getting it that her arrival is looming!

kmo8986 · January 2016

Hubby works about an hour away from home/hospital. I work about 20 mins in the opposite direction. The only traveling he does for work is internationally and he just turned down a trip that would have been this week (I am 37 weeks, and went at 38 weeks with our son) if I went into labor during he day someone at work would bring me to the hospital and he would have to meet me. Considering I was in labor 26 hours with my first, I don't see it being an issue for him to get there, however he also is not going anywhere I far. He had his last hunting day last weekend.

littlecrimsonjester · January 2016

My husband works about forty minutes away but when he is not at work, I couldn't get him to be more than 5 minutes from me. Of course I am due in 5 days. He just can't stand the idea of someone else driving me or him not being there to run my back. I am super lucky.

Mommyduclos · January 2016

kmo8986 said:
Hubby works about an hour away from home/hospital. I work about 20 mins in the opposite direction. The only traveling he does for work is internationally and he just turned down a trip that would have been this week (I am 37 weeks, and went at 38 weeks with our son) if I went into labor during he day someone at work would bring me to the hospital and he would have to meet me. Considering I was in labor 26 hours with my first, I don't see it being an issue for him to get there, however he also is not going anywhere I far. He had his last hunting day last weekend.

This is exactly how I felt with my last! My labor with my son was soooo long and he was *only 2 hours away* then I went from 4- baby in 2.5 hours with my second! So now I'm really anxious cause this baby has the potential of being a completely different labor or even faster! Yikes!

I told him my feelings last night and reiterated that I had wanted him no more than an hour away- which honestly still feels far to me considering he'd still have to pack up things and walk to his truck. Well, he was nice enough about it I suppose just saying that he wouldn't go then. But I was still left feeling like the irrational bad guy ruining everyone's fun, rather than feeling the love and support I need at this point. Probably my hormones getting the best of me but I'm just feeling blah

mommap2 · January 2016

I am pretty lucky. My husband only works about 15 mins from my work, so if I went into labor during work he would just come and pick me up. We are about 25 mins from the hospital from work. But at home we are only 5 mins away. We have a farm so DH isn't typically too far way from the house and is reachable. But he also plows snow for the village he works for. I am more worried about him being out plowing and have to wait for someone to come and relieve him. Luckily my parents are only 4 miles from us so mom is our back up and dad will be on babysitting detail.

ctmamaoftwo · January 2016

My husband has to go into the city a couple times a week which is about an hour train ride away. He is good at wearing his Fitbit that shows when calls are coming in so if he's in a meeting he can excuse himself if I go into labor. He also makes sure at the beginning of any meetings now he lets his clients know I'm due any day now so if it is go time it won't be as awkward for him to leave. Just keeping fingers crossed he's local when it is time because his office here is only 5 minutes from the hospital.

cyanope · January 2016

DH works all over town, but luckily is never more than about 25 minutes away from home. The hospital is less than 10 minutes from where we live. I'm still working, so the plan is that if I go into labor, I would drive myself home (unless unable, and then DH would come and get me), and we would meet there. Then, we would grab our bags and head to the hospital. DH's brother has a big event in Newport Beach this weekend, and the whole family will be heading up there (we're in San Diego). It's about a two hour drive, and DH has already informed his family that we will not be going (the event is exactly a week before my due date). I'm glad I didn't even have to express concern. He just automatically knew we would not be traveling that far from home so close to my due date.

SaguaroBlossmom · January 2016

Sounds like my DH. He hunts also and is planning a 3 day hunt this weekend . I will be 37+4,5,6 while he is away. Normally it would be no big deal but I had DD1 in my 37th week and DD2 in my 38th week. He said last night he was considering cancelling it. Doesn't matter to me as long as he stays in service.
He also work OOT a lot. They are sending him away next week when I will be 38 weeks. Luckily it's only a 3 hour drive. But I am slightly nervous about it. He works in open pit mines where he sometimes does not have the best service.. I'm having no signs of labor. Very little Braxton Hicks, very little discharge, 2 weeks in a row I am still at 1 cm / 50%. baby seems very comfy.
But still.. in the back of my mind there is always that "what if" situation. ..

OrangeFox · January 2016

I'd limit travel to an hour from 37 weeks on.
But I am lucky that there isn't really a reason that DH would be that far away at this point. Also, my first labor was very fast (and at 37+1) and so I would hate to have DH miss it. Of course I am hopeful for another fast labor, but one never knows.

failuretofly · January 2016

Well Hubs is officially out the door and on his way to 6 hours away. Baby boy better stay put for at least another week!!!

Vamason89 · January 2016

I am lucky in that I can have the option to tell him no. He flies around the country and internationally for his job. I felt bad telling him I'm extremely uncomfortable with him flying but he understands.

smkerr14 · January 2016

My husband travels daily to different locations. So the plan from here on out is for him to tell me how far away he will be each day and if I were to go into labor I would time my contractions and contact him when they're a certain time apart depending how far away he is. We also have a neighbor up the road that is a stay at home mom that could drive me to the hospital if needed. But hubby isn't allowed to go on longer work trips right now. He's already having to leave me and baby alone for a full week at end of february which I am nervous about.

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