Single and Divorced Mommas... I Need Your Help Again

clairesmommabear · January 2016

So I have the paperwork now to get a hearing for temporary custody and child support for the children. We will be filing on Tuesday (haven't yet because I'm making him put it on his card...he wants the divorce and he gets the bill for it). It shouldn't take long after the hearing to have the orders in place.

Here's my dilemma. I discovered today that my soon to be ex husband has been watching porn while the children are around. It's on his phone but my two year old climbs up on his lap all the time when he's home, and I don't want her exposed to that, even if its not likely she'll remember seeing anything.

I am pretty sure I can move by Saturday, but I doubt the orders will be finalized that quickly.

So my question is, do you think it's okay if I go now instead of waiting for the orders? After everything he's done, this is something that is screaming at me that the children should not be in this environment. Now more than ever before.

It should be a matter of weeks at most for the orders to go through from what I've read, and he's not pursuing custody so that will make things easier. He has agreed to pay child support until orders are in place to change our agreement, at that time he'll pay whatever is ordered. I also have some cash set aside where he can't get it just in case.

Is leaving now a mistake? Or should I be getting out as soon as I can finish packing?

FatPony · January 2016

I don't know the answer, but you should always trust your gut 100%

mommav83 · January 2016

You can leave whenever you want.

LaurenBee24 · January 2016

I'd make him leave.

midge519 · January 2016

If the arrangement you have come up with includes you and the kids leaving I think you should leave with them and then come on your own to finish packing up. If he tried to fight because you left early you should be able to prove that he watches porn around the kids and that you did it for their safety. I don't see why it would be a problem for you to leave since that is how a separation typically works anyways

clairesmommabear · January 2016

midge519 said:
If the arrangement you have come up with includes you and the kids leaving I think you should leave with them and then come on your own to finish packing up. If he tried to fight because you left early you should be able to prove that he watches porn around the kids and that you did it for their safety. I don't see why it would be a problem for you to leave since that is how a separation typically works anyways

See that's what I thought too. I wanted to leave over a month ago, but my step dad freaked out saying he could claim that I was abandoning him and kidnapping the kids, so I've been trying to stick it out while I got all the paperwork together and did the research necessary. (Of course my soon to be ex couldn't be bothered to do any of that. For someone who wants me gone he sure is dragging this out.)

I'm packing as I write this, so hopefully I'll have everything ready by the time I have someone to help me move.

midge519 · January 2016

You can't kidnap your children since there isn't a custody agreement from my understanding. Unless there is paperwork and you at both on the bc you both have equal rights to them. As long as you allow him access to them and don't leave the state I don't believe there is any issue with you moving out prior to paperwork being completed.

Please remember I'm not an attorney so this is just based on research I've done. Maybe avvo.com would gave answers on the already or you could get an answer. I know lawyers answer questions on there

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Single and Divorced Mommas... I Need Your Help Again

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