My milk never came in :(

scornwell717 · January 2016

So it's been a week and two days since I had my baby girl and my milk NEVER came in! She got the colostrum while I was in the hospital and did great with nursing the first few days. Then once I got home, she started to get really fussy while nursing and she would just cry and cry. She ended up losing an entire pound in less than a week of born.
Little did I know, she was barely getting anything out of my boobs! I contacted several lactation consultants and they told me to just wait and that my milk would come in eventually. I did everything they suggested- pumping, drinking lots of water, warm compresses.

She's been happily drinking formula and has put weight back on, but I'm just curious- is there a small amount of women whose milk just never comes in? Like, is that even possible?

RunnerMeg · January 2016

I'm so sorry you're experiencing breastfeeding issues. Yes, unfortunately, for a small number of women, milk is never produced. Are you continuing to try and nurse and put your daughter to the breast often? I know you said you spoke with several lactation consultants, but if you haven't, you could try and find an IBCLC. They are board certified lactation consultants, lots and lots of training. They may have some additional advice for you.

And so glad baby girl is doing well on formula and thriving. Don't feel bad Momma, you're doing the best thing for your LO, feeding her and keeping her healthy.

scornwell717 · January 2016

@RunnerMeg I was trying to put her to the breast for a little, but every time I did she would just scream because she was so frustrated so I stopped because I didn't want her to become overly stressed

I'm totally fine with formula, especially since I was fed formula as a baby and turned out just peachy. I think I'm just bothered about the fact that nurses and doctors are always pushing breastfeeding because it is the *best* possible thing for the baby. I can't supply the best thing for her so now I have to feel like I'm giving her the second best thing. I feel like I'm broken!

teachmegs817 · January 2016

I know a couple of women who this has happened to. It took my milk almost 6 days to really start coming in and I was almost forced to make the decision of supplementing formula, which I never thought would bother me, but I took it really hard. I found that pumping every 2-3 hours, even if I only produced 15-20mL of milk between both breasts was what really got my body ready for breast feeding. My little guy spent 9 days in NICU, so pumping was easy for me to do at home and I'd just bring whatever I produced up to the hospital. I'd say continue doing what you're doing by giving her formula, and pump on a schedule if you can. I thought it was best for me to have him attached to my boob as often as possible, but really I needed to build up a supply first otherwise, I'd have a fussy baby crying over not getting enough milk.

sarahbeara25 · January 2016

@scornwell717 The *best* possible thing for baby is to be loved and cared for. And you're doing that. Yes it would be nice if your milk came in, but personally I have no issue with formula feeding if I need to. Ya I'll be slightly disappointed (for me, I just like the idea of it), but as long as kiddo is getting what they need that's all that should matter to anyone.

scornwell717 · January 2016

Thanks for the input guys! @sarahbeara25 you are absolutely right that the best thing for my baby is to be loved and cared for. I've been looking on the bright side of things (no sore nipples and boobs, comfortably feeding in front of people, others being able to feed her) but like you said I'm just slightly disappointed. Go figure I'd be part of the tiny population of women this happens to!

amargaret24 · January 2016

This is more common than women allow themselves to believe (like miscarriage!) You're baby will be healthy no matter what happens, but you're right in not totally wanting to stress yourself out about it. I have a few friends who got pretty depressed due to breastfeeding issues and looking back, wish they had just opted for formula before it got out of hand emotionally. Don't feel broken! You made a baby! You can't be broken! It's just sometimes, not everything works out perfectly. But like PP said, pumping might be easier if you keep trying because fussy baby can cause serious stress at home!

SummerOH · January 2016

Formula is absolutely fine. She will flourish on it, too. I know so many people who are exceedingly bright who were FF, and kids who are sickly and not as bright who were BF. If you want to pump, go for it. Personally I'd move on and not beat myself up over it. Don't let anyone else, either. So many well-meaning, and not so well-meaning, people will give you advice - pump on a schedule, try this herb, make these cookies, drink water, drink beer, etc etc.(been there with low production and definitely felt judged). For some women, their bodies don't produce enough milk, or any, and that's just the way it is. And that's ok! I've been where you are, albeit when DS was older and I supplemented, and allowed people to make me feel bad about myself. Don't get sucked into that! Lots of love to you!

Becky012016 · January 2016

Everyone in my family for the past 3 generations couldn't produce and while I'll try when LO gets here, I'm not holding my breath about being able to produce. Formula has come SUCH a long way in recent decades and your LO will do great with it! Plus, I hear formula babies sleep through the night better than breast fed babies

Monilee1017 · January 2016

Newborn babies that are BF are expected to loss around 10% of there birth weight the first week so don't stress about that. My supply never came in for my first. I tried for two months with weekly appointments to the pediatrician . If you want to keep trying does your babies pediatric office have a LC there. My boys office did and I also had many appointments with her so she could watch me BF and guide me. No pressure here, you do whatever you want! I have already decided I'm FF this time.

LIly436 · January 2016

Talk to your OB. Nipples need to be stimulated in order for a milk to come

amargaret24 · January 2016

LIly436 said:

Talk to your OB. Nipples need to be stimulated in order for a milk to come

It sounds like her nipples have been stimulated as she has had her baby attempting to breastfeed for over a week. I would also assume the multiple LC's she has contacted would have told her that.... try and be sensitive. This is tough for all!

danasphillips · January 2016

012016 said:
I hear formula babies sleep through the night better than breast fed babies

There is NOTHING wrong with using formula, but this is a complete myth.

OP, have you met with an LC in person? It may be a latch/tongue tie issue (or something else entirely) that would be easier to diagnose in person. You could also pump and bottle feed if you are able to get anything that way. It actually can take a couple weeks for some people's milk to come in, but it's totally up to you whether you want to go that route or formula.

scornwell717 · January 2016

WineBaby122 said:

012016 said:
I hear formula babies sleep through the night better than breast fed babies
There is NOTHING wrong with using formula, but this is a complete myth.

OP, have you met with an LC in person? It may be a latch/tongue tie issue (or something else entirely) that would be easier to diagnose in person. You could also pump and bottle feed if you are able to get anything that way. It actually can take a couple weeks for some people's milk to come in, but it's totally up to you whether you want to go that route or formula.

I haven't met with a LC in person, but I know it isn't a latch or tongue tie issue because she nursed like a champ while we were in the hospital. After thinking about it more and hearing all the input from PPs, I'm not feeling as bad anymore and I've decided that I'll just stick to strictly formula. She is thriving from it and is sleeping better now that she's got a full belly and that makes me a happy mommy

LIly436 · January 2016

I am sensitive, otherwise I would not write anything at all. We all give advise here and please reserve scolding for your children
A baby needs to suck on a nipple often not just a couple of times a day. If you do not have enough milk maybe even two three times a feeding. Yes, it will be painful
OB and pediatrician maybe more helpful, then LS because they know more and can figure out what a problem really is. They can also prescribe pills to increase milk production

Katty422 · January 2016

Lurking... I have heard that this is common and happens often w/ women who had problems with fertility. I am just curious if this is your case. The reason why I am asking is bc I have had concerns with breastfeeding myself like all of us.

scornwell717 · January 2016

@Katty422 fertility was not a problem for me, baby was actually an accident! I had forgotten to pick up my birth control and had to give myself another month to begin a new pack. I had been off BC for just two weeks

I can see how it would be common in women having problems with fertility though. Is that your case?

Katty422 · January 2016

No I haven't had my baby yet. I'm due February 4th. I am concerned about breastfeeding my baby when she comes. People tend to say it so natural but really seems like it is tough and comes with a lot of setbacks. Just trying to get mentally prepared.

JanMommy2under2 · January 2016

I've heard great reviews about mothers milk plus special blend on amazon. I had a horrible time with breastfeeding my first and would only make 7oz a day. I would encourage you that there is nothing wrong with formula, its just expensive. However in case you wanted to try the supplement I will share the link

https://www.amazon.com/Motherlove-Breastfeeding-Supplement-Supports-Lactation/dp/B0029SS85A/ref=pd_sim_121_1?ie=UTF8&dpID=41U1EBHJh+L&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR83,160_&refRID=1548PGRNVE32TXKMQN4J

Also here is the link to all their products in case anyone else wanted to check it out.

https://www.motherlove.com/

NillaWafers · January 2016

Is it possible you've retained a piece of your placenta? Like how is your bleeding?

You placenta needs to be completely detached in order to signal milk production.

Here are retained placenta symptoms:

heavy bleeding
tummy cramps
smelly vaginal discharge
fever
a lack of breastmilk

https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a562148/retained-placenta#ixzz3wJ1Wjiy6

SummerOH · January 2016

No supplements in the world helped me. I took fenugreek to the point where I smelled like pancakes and was dizzy at times, made cookies with flax and brewers yeast, drank tons of water, power pumped (every 10 min for an hour or two), nursed often at home, coslept, talked to LCs at the hospital, on the phone, and in groups where they observed my pumping and latching...still my supply crashed at 6 months and I started supplementing. Still nursed and pumped to 15 months and a year, respectively, because of the "breast is best" lactivists who make you feel like less of a woman. I would cry at pumping sessions when I only got 2 ounces while other moms would get 6 or more.

Point is, for all of these people who mean well on here - a woman sometimes just can't produce. And that's fine. OP sounds like she's comfortable with formula, so maybe back off of the suggestions. Some of them sound kind of judgy, tbh. And BTW, those pills aren't good for you so many doctors won't prescribe them.

SummerOH · January 2016

And I'll add...I may not even go past 3 months this time. I nursed DD and DS to a year+ and hated it, probably because of the stress. A happy mom is important, too, and formula isn't poison. All the sanctimommies can go kick rocks!

JanMommy2under2 · January 2016

On the flip side of that, I think its important to know you have options to help. I suffered from depression after not being able to breastfeed, and didn't know about half the stuff I've read about that can possibly help.

ShannyFann · January 2016

@scornwell717
You sound like you're becoming ok with your decision to formula feed and I'm happy you're no longer stressing yourself out. Being a brand new mom and trying to figure everything out is hard enough without adding that kind of guilt/stress to it. My supply totally tanked after two months with my first and though I was disappointed I didn't let myself get worked up over it. I had issues nursing so I was exclusively pumping. I'll try again this time but I'm not going to be heartbroken if it doesn't work out again. My son is a bright, super healthy kid so I'm not second guessing falling back to formula for a second. Enjoy your new beautiful girl and do what you gotta do and forget all the people brow-beating you and mom-guilting you. You got this.
And I think most of the ladies posting are supportive of you but just want you to have info you may not know about because we are not mind readers and don't know exactly how you feel about formula vs. breast milk. I think most of us will be supportive of whatever you choose to do. Good luck and big hug.

kmo8986 · January 2016

I am glad that you are doing what is right for your baby, that is feeding her!!! I tried bf my son for 5-6 weeks, he ended up needing stomach surgery so I was forced to pump (he could only eat an ounce at a time for 2 weeks after) and I gave up after pumping. It took a good long while for me to feel "ok" about formula, which is ridiculous. Do what you need to to keep your baby nourished and growing and love on that sweet little girl!!!

yvessaintlauren · January 2016

@kmo8986 Don't feel bad. I wasn't producing colostrum at the hospital and they kept insisting I not supplement with formula. I told them "nothing is coming out, he is not eating" and then his bilirubin levels went up and they told me he NEEDS to eat every 3-4 hours. Okay then, so I told them then I am going to supplement with formula! I'm not going to put my baby in danger. I hope your milk does come in but if it doesn't formula is just fine. I was formula fed as were many of our peers. We're ok!

jmathi0149 · January 2016

NillaWafers said:
Is it possible you've retained a piece of your placenta? Like how is your bleeding?

You placenta needs to be completely detached in order to signal milk production.

Here are retained placenta symptoms:
heavy bleeding
tummy cramps
smelly vaginal discharge
fever
a lack of breastmilk

https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a562148/retained-placenta#ixzz3wJ1Wjiy6

Lurking but this happened to me! I struggled for 7 weeks and was still having heavy bleeding at my postpartum check up. They did an ultrasound and saw I retained a piece of my placenta. I had to have emergency surgery. My milk came in immediately after surgery.

scornwell717 · January 2016

@NillaWafers I never even thought about the possibility of that! However the only symptom of those I'm experiencing is lack of breast milk, but that doesn't mean it's still not possible.

@yvessaintlauren my babe had the same problem with high levels of bilirubin! I'm so surprised they told you not to supplement with formula. Screw that, your baby eating is more important than waiting on milk to come in.

Thank you for the support from all of you!! It is nice to know that I'm not alone with breastfeeding problems. I seriously didn't know if it was a thing that milk never came in, but seems like it's rather common!

PedsIsHardcore · January 2016

With DD1 my milk didn't come in until 8 days after birth. She had a perfect latch and everything. I am diabetic and I was told that is why that happened. My DD1 had jaundice and needed formula. She ended up having a milk protein allergy so she had to be on special formula and her doctor told me that breastfeeding wasn't an option for her. So we are using the same formula and no breastfeeding at all. My milk is already in but I am going back on my anxiety meds after delivery which aren't pregnancy safe and I will be having my tubes tied or a hysterectomy.
You are doing all you can so I don't want you to feel like a failure or anything negative. You are doing all you can for your baby and that is what matters! That's what counts at the end of the day!

apinkpelican · January 2016

Katty422 said:

No I haven't had my baby yet. I'm due February 4th. I am concerned about breastfeeding my baby when she comes. People tend to say it so natural but really seems like it is tough and comes with a lot of setbacks. Just trying to get mentally prepared.

My sister had serious fertility issues and after 7 years had a baby via IVF. She also had a c-sec and has been a champion breast feeder. Don't let your fears get you down before you even try! Good luck!

deedeecmc79 · January 2016

It happened to me with my daughter. Try not to beat yourself about it. It can happen especially if you are FTM. It is great that the LO got colostrum

I the end I think she has done really well and has not gotten sick a lot

Want a personalized experience?

My milk never came in :(

Re: My milk never came in :(

Choose Another Board

Search Boards