Holiday situation that Pregnancy Hormones just made worse.

bublesmiled · December 2015

So now that most of the holiday celebrations are over, was there an situation that you were in, that would have been annoying on it's own but adding to the situation your hormones just made the issue 10x worse?

Mine was Christmas Eve with my MIL. My dd was in the pageant at church, and we invited the in-laws to watch, then invited them over for dinner (which is hard to plan because we aren't home to cook because we are all in church). Last year we ordered in, but the money wasn't there this year. My DH worked and planned all day on dinner, MIL said she would bring a lasagna, ok, then she added she'll bring a salad, fine. Well, when she gets to church, she tells me she has a salad, lasagna, chicken parm, and a cake. Who brings a complete dinner to someone's house when you are invited over for dinner? I even said something to her, which is so not like me, and she didn't care and goes oh well, I never show up empty handed. I was so pissed all night, I stayed in the kitchen as long as I could, and didn't eat a bite of her food, just ate what DH had been prepping all day.

sheslikeasunburn · December 2015

bublesmiled said:

So now that most of the holiday celebrations are over, was there an situation that you were in, that would have been annoying on it's own but adding to the situation your hormones just made the issue 10x worse?

Mine was Christmas Eve with my MIL. My dd was in the pageant at church, and we invited the in-laws to watch, then invited them over for dinner (which is hard to plan because we aren't home to cook because we are all in church). Last year we ordered in, but the money wasn't there this year. My DH worked and planned all day on dinner, MIL said she would bring a lasagna, ok, then she added she'll bring a salad, fine. Well, when she gets to church, she tells me she has a salad, lasagna, chicken parm, and a cake. Who brings a complete dinner to someone's house when you are invited over for dinner? I even said something to her, which is so not like me, and she didn't care and goes oh well, I never show up empty handed. I was so pissed all night, I stayed in the kitchen as long as I could, and didn't eat a bite of her food, just ate what DH had been prepping all day.

Interesting...I guess I don't see what's wrong with this. Wasn't she just trying to be helpful? Plus...that all sounds delish.

VitaLuna · December 2015

I'm with PP... I get that you spent a lot of time planning, but I don't understand being pissed at MIL for doing something very nice by trying to help alleviate some pressure on a pregnant person and her busy family. TBH, I think you owe her an apology.

VitaLuna · December 2015

My IL complaint is that mine flew out to visit (we see them every couple years), and they've spent a grand total of 4 hours with us/DD in the last 7 days. The rest of the time they've been taking their own side trips with BIL/SIL (who also live out of town), that they didn't invite us on. Needless to say, H is hurt, I'm really upset that they are spending hardly any time with DD (who has really taken to them), and I'm angry that they hurt H's feelings like this all the time... Which makes him grumpy and all of us miserable.

So yeah, send your MIL my way and I'll graciously eat her lasagna and chicken parm.

cMichelle0423 · December 2015

I wish someone would bring me over a bunch of food.

DrillSergeantCat · December 2015

I agree with PP that you owe your MIL an apology. It was extremely rude of you to hide in the kitchen pouting and not eat any of the food that she brought because you were admittedly too busy with other things.

MississippiCatfish · December 2015

My MIL and SIL both eat VERY healthy, and will sometimes bring over more food than I see as appropriate, when they were only asked to bring a salad. It's irritating to me, because it feels like they're saying, "since your meals are so unhealthy, we have to bring our own." I can see where in your situation, I could read into your MILs actions as, "since you're so unprepared and unable to get dinner on the table, I just went ahead and whipped up a huge meal. It's really not that hard." But with that said, I think the reality is much more likely that she was simply trying to help. I don't think it's something to stew on a week later.

Aussiechicka · December 2015

It does sound like she was trying to be helpful. Are there other issues with her that have you on the defensive?
My IL gripe is that for the days leading up to Xmas H tried to nail down a time to talk to them on the phone. No firm commitment from
them. So he calls when it works for us and they were too busy to talk to him and didn't call back that day or the next day. But oh guess who calls a few days later urgently needing computer help and getting pissy that we were out and he said he couldn't right then. He was hurt and I was pissed.

camusoh2011 · December 2015

I agree that this was a situation where your hormones got the best of you. I'm sure she was just trying to be helpful.

Just after Thanksgiving my stepdaughter's mom called CPS on us again. I'm not even sure I understand what the claim was this time. Some sort of neglect or something. Basically when they came and spoke with us about the case the worker said she felt like she was always in trouble or being ignored or something. I don't know. The guy left saying he didn't see any cause for concern, but I still bawled for a good hour or so after he left. I don't think her mother realizes that even though there is nothing to hide in our house it's frustrating and embarrassing to have these claims put out against us. Especially since I'm working in a field with children and we have other kids in the home who start to be looked at questionably. I think we handled it well and stayed pretty calm, but there were a lot of heated vent sessions between DH and myself when the kids weren't around in order for us to stay nice in our interactions with his ex wife. The hormones were not helpful at all!

Cheryl Renee · January 2016

Well, I was going to say "maybe its just me" but everyone else has said what I'm about to say... I don't see anything wrong with free food and a MIL who is willing to help. I get that its frustrating when you planned though. She could have told you in advance that she would handle the entire meal! All the same, it does make your life a bit easier!

One less meal to cook!

Mamacat316 · January 2016

I don't really think there is much to complain about here - people often try to help out a little more when you are heavily pregnant and that sounds like a sweet gesture. I wish my MIL would do anything to help out - she has never babysat my kids or showed up at my house with food!

cognity · January 2016

My in laws live in the country and heat their homes with wood burning furnaces. I'm actually allergic to this and my asthma acts up every year. Husbands parents are divorced and live 3 hours away, so he has always spent the night Christmas Eve and done his dads that night and moms Christmas Morning. At thanksgiving I mentioned that we would not be spending the night this year, but would love to do maybe a dinner Christmas Day instead. They kinda nodded and I figured we would work something out. Husband only has one brother and his two kids are 16 and 18... There's really no need to do things at the crack of dawn when they have no other commitments that day. Well needless to say they had no intentions of changing anything and his mom still did it Christmas morning without us. I offered to drive right back or get a hotel but husbands feelings are hurt they acted like they don't care if he's there or not. His 42 year old brother claimed I ruined Christmas. They ignored us all Christmas Eve at his dads. His mom just mailed us our presents.. Like wha..?

They had to know this was coming though right?? I have a right to start my own Christmas morning traditions with my children. (FTM)

g8trkim · January 2016

bublesmiled said:
So now that most of the holiday celebrations are over, was there an situation that you were in, that would have been annoying on it's own but adding to the situation your hormones just made the issue 10x worse?

Mine was Christmas Eve with my MIL. My dd was in the pageant at church, and we invited the in-laws to watch, then invited them over for dinner (which is hard to plan because we aren't home to cook because we are all in church). Last year we ordered in, but the money wasn't there this year. My DH worked and planned all day on dinner, MIL said she would bring a lasagna, ok, then she added she'll bring a salad, fine. Well, when she gets to church, she tells me she has a salad, lasagna, chicken parm, and a cake. Who brings a complete dinner to someone's house when you are invited over for dinner? I even said something to her, which is so not like me, and she didn't care and goes oh well, I never show up empty handed. I was so pissed all night, I stayed in the kitchen as long as I could, and didn't eat a bite of her food, just ate what DH had been prepping all day.

On one hand, it was nice of her to bring stuff. However, it does seem very undermining which is why I'm guessing you were annoyed.

We went to MIL's for Christmas. It's about a 3 hour drive. I asked her for weeks what she would like me to bring and didn't get a straight answer. Then 4 days before (when we were out of town for a family trip) she says she wants us to bring a Honey Baked Ham. I mentioned just making a ham but that would not due, it had to be from there. She knows how expensive it is and what a nightmare it is the day before Christmas but didn't seem to care that it would require me 9 months pregnant with a 3 and 5 year old to wait in a 45 minute line. Then we get to her house and it it 5 adults, my two kids, and she made enough food to feed 20 people. What was the point of the $50 ham? I was so annoyed!

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