Another Shower Etiquette Question

BabySeaTurtles · January 2016

My shower is on the 9th and the hostess called me today to sweetly ask if I was okay with her setting up an Origami Owl display at the shower (since she is a sales rep for them). My reply was literally: "Ummmmmm. IIIII don't know about that..." She picked up on my reluctance super quick and easy and told me it's okay, no worries, just checking, etc. She was very sweet about it and dropped the issue right away. Now I am wondering if I should call her back and tell her it's okay. I know it's a source of income for her when she has been struggling. What do you guys think? Would it be way tacky?

cMichelle0423 · January 2016

BabySeaTurtles said:
My shower is on the 9th and the hostess called me today to sweetly ask if I was okay with her setting up an Origami Owl display at the shower (since she is a sales rep for them). My reply was literally: "Ummmmmm. IIIII don't know about that..." She picked up on my reluctance super quick and easy and told me it's okay, no worries, just checking, etc. She was very sweet about it and dropped the issue right away. Now I am wondering if I should call her back and tell her it's okay. I know it's a source of income for her when she has been struggling. What do you guys think? Would it be way tacky?

I think it's tacky. I would hate to be invited to any type of gathering with a hidden agenda.

acuteangles · January 2016

I think it depends on how she intends for the display to play out. If it's off to the side and not a focal point, and she doesn't try to engage any of the guests in a sales pitch or demo or initiate conversations about it, I don't see the harm. It also depends on your guests and how they would react to it. But if it makes you uncomfortable or you think it would make any of your guests uncomfortable, I would just let it go and not bring it up to her again. It's not as though you are taking a sales opportunity away from her; if you weren't having a baby she wouldn't have your guests available to sell to, so you shouldn't feel guilty if you don't want her to do it either.

VitaLuna · January 2016

Super tacky, IMO. People don't come to baby showers only to be asked (or hinted) to spend more money. I think it's weird, and I'd just leave it be.

Bringmemylongswordho · January 2016

I would find it tacky as well.

I also think that if you really wanted to help her side business out, dropping her name or buying gifts from her would be more productive in the long run.

Cheryl Renee · January 2016

I think its tacky also. The shower is intended for you and your baby, not as a means for her to make money.
However, if you feel like you need to support her business, I'm sure you can buy from her or find another means of helping her, without her using your shower.

BabySeaTurtles · January 2016

Yea my first thought about it was tacky tacky tacky. But then she was so great about my comfort level with it that it made me want to do something for her. (I did buy some stuff from her for Christmas presents so I have supported her in that way.) Thanks for the input!

MississippiCatfish · January 2016

OOooooooh ick. That's a bummer and would make me very uncomfortable (eta: if I were in your shoes, not as a guest). I hate those kind of parties, haven't gone to one in about five years. I agree that she shouldn't have asked, but I can also see where you are coming from now, especially since you said money has been tight for her. Sorry you're in that position, it's crappy.

OrangeFox · January 2016

I'm sure she feels silly having asked now. I wouldn't bring it up again and not worry about it. It seems weird and a bit tacky for the guests. If I went as a guest I would feel obligated to buy something.

funkypineapple · January 2016

Nope, just leave it be. I would see it as weird and tacky and it would make me even more uncomfortable being there.

I think it's great you want to support her, but why no do so and host your own party down the road?

pbtoast · January 2016

I wouldn't want someone selling anything at my shower, but I can also see why you're feeling bad. Maybe you could call her and say you're feeling badly about it but just don't think your guests would be receptive to it at the shower, and like @funkypineapple said, offer to host a party down the road to help her out.

seckenrode · January 2016

I agree with two PP, in fact that's a great idea to host a party for her as a TY for hosting your shower. Win win for both. Good luck!

tripledaggerWed95976 · January 2016

very tacky- it was nice of her to ask instead of just doing it though haha.

g8trkim · January 2016

funkypineapple said:
Nope, just leave it be. I would see it as weird and tacky and it would make me even more uncomfortable being there.

I think it's great you want to support her, but why no do so and host your own party down the road?

Ditto this. As a guest, I would feel uncomfortable if I came to a shower and someone tried to sell me something. But if you host a party later where guests know why they're coming that would be a nice thank you. Maybe mention it the next time you talk to her. Of course, let her know you will need some time to adjust after baby so she's not expecting it anytime soon.

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