Anyone successful with IVF. Really scared by the whole process...

RipleyLV426 · January 2016

So, if this 3rd cycle of IUI and injectables doesn't work (7th IUI total), I'm thinking it'll be my last. That means IVF...And that terrifies me. We've almost saved up enough money for two, but I'm scared about choosing this new path. Will it work? Will we be able to pay for all of it? Are we making the right choice? I have no idea what this process is going to be like, and I'm so scared that this is the last resort treatment. I feel so damn lost. I just want this to work, and for me to have a baby...Why is all of this so hard? If anyone has had success with PCOS and IVF, please help me and give me encouragement. I need it.

HBamama2B · January 2016

Hi! I had PCOS and DH had MFI and our IVF worked the first time. Good news: pcos patients tend to respond very well to the IVF routine, producing lots of high quality eggs. In my case, we had ten embryos left to freeze for siblings down the road.

What helped me and DH was flipping a coin. For us the odds of IUI working were less than 5%. IVF brings that up to ~50 depending on your Dx, age, and RE's success rates. I recommended flipping a coin to understand how those odds improve your outlook. For us IVF was the only way, and it was the best thing to happen to us as I am now 16 weeks along with our little boy. It's hard and challenging, for me having a fantastic spouse and a great group on the IF board made it sooo much easier. I strongly recommend joining the IVF thread for your cycle. You ladies will become support for each other and it will help to go through it day by day with others. One step at a time and GL!!

RipleyLV426 · January 2016

Thank you for the encouragement @HBamama2B! I really need as much as I can get. I'm gonna ask to get a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis (just to rule out that complication as well). God I hope this works the first time.

suchaglencoco · January 2016

I do not have pcos, but we experienced "unexplained infertility", so I relate a bit.
We struggled for a few years, had 2 failed iuis, had a successful fresh ivf cycle that ended in miscarriage, then did a frozen ivf cycle and because of all of that, we're currently snuggling our month old twins.
For us, it was all worth it. I was willing to do whatever it took to have a baby. The thought of ivf was terrifying! When we reviewed the process with our doctor, it looked extremely daunting. I panicked, my husband panicked. We were assured everyone felt that way and it was completely doable and they were right! Once we got involved in the process, it wasn't as bad as it looked. It went a lot quicker as well.
We broke down the ivf process to different steps to make it more doable in my mind. Step one was birth control, easy enough. Step two was starting one injection, not bad. And we just went on from there. To me, seeing it broken up and breaking up the actual medication into separate bags for storage made it a lot easier to mentally process. It was more of a small step here, small step there progression. I also had to keep myself focused on the light at the end of the tunnel - a beautiful baby- and that would pull me though. My husband was also amazing and extremely encouraging, always telling me he was in awe of how I was handling it all. That helped me tremendously.
Now, you may have a setback during it and that's ok too. Our ivf miscarriage was terrible but made me want a child that much more. After a few months, we tried again, more determined and got blessed with the news of twins. Now I look back on the process and laugh at how scared we both were.

With all of that said, no one but you and your partner can determine if it's the right path for you. For us, we were willing to do anything and had amazing insurance that helped us pay the heavy costs.
I highly suggest you set up a meeting with your RE to go over their process step by step, ask questions and go over costs with them. In the end, you'll have to go with your gut. But please know, you're stronger than you think you are! You can so do this if this is what you want to do.
Also, I second the sentiment that a highly supportive partner and family is amazingly helpful and almost necessary. If you go through with it, there will be days you won't think you can take another injection and their encouragement will pull you through.
Good luck on your journey!

mrsloriw · January 2016

I don't have pcos but we had 6 failed iui's (3 with clomid, 3 with injectibles). Our first IVF worked (thank God!!) and I'm now 7 months pregnant.

. We only had 1 embryo make it to the desired "blastocyst" stage on our day-5 transfer and thankfully that's all I needed! Plus you can really get the drugs for cheap (well, cheaper than I could thru insurance anyways) with specialty pharmacies. But it's a hard decision since if it didn't work, we'd be out a whole lot of money with no frozen embryos to try again...which would've been heartbreaking...but we didn't want to regret not trying either and always wondering "what if." I am so grateful we went for it since it did work for us the 1st time.

I wish you luck and peace in whatever you decide to do!!

RipleyLV426 · January 2016

@suchaglencoco your words really touched me, and you've made me feel not so overwhelmed and scared. I am always surprised and grateful for the kindness I receive from people here, all of them being strangers like you. My husband always tells me I'm much stronger than I give myself credit for, but at times it doesn't feel like it. It is what I want, because I truly believe I was put on this earth to be a mom. And @mrsloriw, I haven't talked to anyone before who has had as many IUIs as me (on my 7th now) I don't feel so alone in that experience now. I'll have to look into those specialty pharmacies, as our insurance covers NOTHING to do with IVF! We've saved up enough to get two IVFs so here's hoping one works. This place has given me an outlet to find the support I really need, and I thank you both for being a part of it. If anyone has anymore success stories or encouragement, please chime in!

bobadin · January 2016

I can relate to worrying about the "last resort" nature of IVF, AND the huge expense. But as my husband kept telling me throughout the process, "what would be a BETTER thing to spend our money on?!" And yes, it did work (not on the first try, which was the worst BFN of them all!), but the second try, with a frozen embryo. Got a cutie pie 18 month baby boy sleeping in the crib right now! Miracles happen, girlfriend, don't give up!

suchaglencoco · January 2016

@RipleyLV426, I'm glad I made you feel less overwhelmed by it. If you go through with ivf, remember that it's ok to feel overwhelmed at times and it's also ok to cry at how hard of an experience it is.
Please take advantage of the infertility board to get support and lean on each other. I wish I was active here during my struggles, it would have made me feel way less alone.

RipleyLV426 · January 2016

You're 100% right @bobadin! There is NOTHING I'd rather spend our money on. My husband said that we're lucky we are in a position to be able to pay for the treatments needed. I'm so scared of a BFN with IVF. But I can't think like that. Everyone says be positive, but it's soooo hard sometimes! I tell my friends every time I get a procedure done to cross their fingers, toes and tubes and wish me luck! I hope I'll never give up.

somewhereinafrica · January 2016

PCOS and pregnant after FET- frozen embryo transfer. First round of IVF failed I went straight and has a FET the next cycle and my little boy is due on Tuesday.

10 months ago I was feeling like I had this huge mountain to climb. After the first round failed I was gutted. I felt like this is the drastic stuff and it still failed, my confidence was shot. But my FET worked and all the shots and procedures are just a part of our story now and make us so grateful to have gotten pregnant.

I think go in with the mindset this is two go's not one. Honestly the first time my body I could tell just didn't like all the hormones and stuff and my doctor said that he finds many women do better on FET because their body isn't as in shock with all the stimulating and retrieval stuff. I think if you plan for two try's it will be both more realistic and take a little of the edge off.

Also find out as much as possible about your clinic. What are their succes rates. How does FET and fresh cycles differ. ( in mine FET was much more successful)

I know it may be a hindsight thing but looking back the whole process was a very intimate and binding one for my DH and I. IVF Takes slot of the spark out of the baby making but I found that it really made us close and lean on each other. Before you start try and pick some other focus for yourself than the fear ( that will be there, mine was in boat loads!!) but if you can also see it as a chance to focus on your marriage or learn to meditate- or write or I dunno. As I started hindsight has shown me that I learnt and grew so much through it even though at the time it often felt I was drowning in fear and hopelessness. In truth I have gained so much strength.

All the best to you.... Hope you are able to make the best choice for your family

RipleyLV426 · January 2016

@somewhereinafrica it looks like their fresh cycles are a lot better than FET. The fresh IVF has about a 45% success rate. I'm definitely in the mindset that this will take two rounds of IVF. Just hope if I do get a BFN on the first round, I won't be too devastated. I'm so happy for you, and I really hope to be sharing my success story with women who need the support like me. And it's very true that this process has made me and my husband strong in every way. He has a hard time expressing his feelings about all of this, but he always does his best to comfort me, and make me feel like he's got my back.

duchessofravity · January 2016

I have a not so encouraging story to tell that looks like it is having a happier ending. I am 5w2 d after our 5th ivf transfer. We did 3 retrievals with fresh transfers and 2 frozen transfers. We had 2 chemical pregnancies. I highly recommend a package deal or shared risk program. It can get very expensive otherwise. We were originally diagnosed with male factor but other issues have turned up over time. I wish you the best of luck!

RipleyLV426 · January 2016

Yeah I'm scared but eager to do IVF. It feels like a way to find out more about our issues. I'm of course terrified that something big will turn up. I guess it's a risk, but I'd rather know, than be in the dark and feel helpless. Me and my husband talked about a package deal @duchessofravity. Unfortunately our clinic doesn't offer one, and the one that does that's near to us, doesn't have nearly as good success rates. We are VERY scared about the cost.

hopes4baby · January 2016

I did 7 rounds of IUI with nothing. I am now 32 weeks pregnant with twin girls from my first IVF around with FET. Best wishes to you

Knottie4978096 · January 2016

I had insurance that covered 1 round of IVF. It was unsuccessful - I responded well, 12 eggs retrieved, DH's sperm looked good, we were optimistic. Eggs were all bad, didn't make it to xfer. So we decided to take a break and I joined a weight loss program and lost 20 lbs. and got pregnant 2 months after failed IVF. I've had 4 dr.s tell me the weight loss was what did it. But who knows, the infertility thing is a bit of hocus pocus and a lot of luck. PCOS ladies are more successful with IVF than the unexplained group (of which I was one).

RipleyLV426 · January 2016

@Knottie4978096 I've lost 40 pounds so far. My doctor told me that if I hadn't put as much work in, she probably wouldn't have recommended IVF to me. I'm doing my 7th IUI tomorrow. I have a 16.4, 16.8, 17.8 and 23 mm follicles this morning, and I triggered around 5pm. I'm hoping that with 4 mature follicles, at least one will stick! I was worried about the 16mm ones but they said that with injectables, they consider 16+ to be mature. My E2 was 780, so I figured that's a good sign. If this one doesn't work, it's on to IVF!

riveridgional · January 2016

@RipleyLV426 I'm so happy you got more eggs this time! I'm really hoping this is the one for you! Best of luck!

RipleyLV426 · January 2016

Thanks @riveridgional! I kiiiinda wished they would have let me stim for another night to get those 16mm to 18mm, but they said that by the time I triggered that evening they probably would have been 17's so by the time I ovulate they'd definitely be 18mm. I'm praying this works...Kepp your fingers crossed ladies!

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