Telling Work, Advice Please

Re: Telling Work, Advice Please

• huskypuppy14 member

  January 2016

  Are you planning to go back to work after maternity leave? Whether you have been at you job less than 3 months or 8 years like me, I think it's reassuring to your bosses that you will return. 
  
  I told my immediate boss at 12 weeks, and it just happened naturally during a 1:1 meeting talking about other things. I still want to tell my bosses boss (who used to be my boss) but I haven't gotten a private moment with him. 
  
  People may already be talking. There was a woman at my office who had just started and it became obvious that she was pregnant, but she never said anything about it. 
  
  I think you should just tell them, and let them know you plan to return( if you do plan to return). If they're assholes about it would you really want to work there anyway?

  
  
  
  

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• stisnd6 member

  January 2016

  @huskypuppy14 It's just I know I need the money and I'm afraid if I get fired I won't find another job when I'm clearly showing.

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• Linsbins member

  January 2016

  My boss appreciated that I told him when I did (12 weeks). It is incredibly hard to find subs so he needs to start looking now. He thanked me and then said the last pregnant worker at our school didn't tell until 20ish weeks and then had to go out on disability, so he had almost no notice with that one. I also told him the week before my evaluation- however I trust him enough to not have him use it against me in any way. I think if you wait too long, they may be slightly miffed. The rule at my place is that you have to tell them 4 weeks ahead of your expected due date, but advance notice is appreciated. I think if you want too much longer to tell your superiors they may inadvertently hold it against you. You can ask them not to tell everyone else; I did and it worked out well.

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• HBamama2B member

  January 2016 edited January 2016

  It really depends on your job, boss, plans and frankly body type. It's your decision all the way.
  
  My coworker is a temp who started right after finding out she was pregnant. She didn't disclose until 26 weeks Bc she was nervous about how they would take her accepting the position while pregnant. She hid it easily with sweaters given her build. She finally felt encouraged to tell our mutual boss when she overheard me telling a friend next to her desk how amazing they were when I shared my news.
  
  My boss knew from the start for me Bc she knew about the IVF (I didn't want her to think I was going on interviews or lazy Bc I was coming in late or taking time off). With my body type no way could I hide it. Also, I unconsciously give myself away by rubbing my tummy a lot so some people around the office started 'guessing' before I announced to the rest of the team at 12 weeks.

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• stisnd6 member

  January 2016

  I wear scrubs so that has helped in hiding it and I wear mine baggy. Lol I catch myself rubbing my belly at my desk so I try to watch that. I have a hard time deciding how my boss will react. She is very passive aggressive and I see her bad mouth my coworkers and it makes me uneasy. She has a very "Mean Girls" way to her. She is a new mom so I was hoping that would make her understanding. I'm thinking about going to my top boss first since he seems reasonable and wouldn't make a heated decision like she would. I just don't want to hide my whole pregnancy, I want to enjoy it and share it... But at the same time I can't afford to be unemployed right now.
  Thank you for all of the advice!

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• lola6711 member

  January 2016

  I would ask to meet with your boss and tell him/her soon. Be prepared to tell your due date, maternity leave plans, and ideas you have to prepare for your absence so that it will be easier on the company.
  I have always found that people appreciate honesty and knowing that you are prepared and have a plan.

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• AmberLiz99 member

  January 2016

  I think tell them now or it might become more of a a problem. They might be annoyed but they will likely deal with it. It they figure it out before you tell them they might feel you aren't being honest, which in my experience is worse. Like suggested above, go in with a plan for work, leave, and returning (you can always change the plan later if necessary, but show them you are a serious employee)
  
  Good luck!

    
   
  
  

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• allieshortcake member

  January 2016

  I came here looking for advice on almost the same issue. If I were you, I think I'd go ahead and tell them. It sounds like you are planning on going back to your job, so they'll probably be excited and supportive and you won't have to worry about keeping a secret.
  
  Personally, I can't wait to be rid of the stress of "hiding it." I feel like I'm starting to show at almost 14 weeks. I want to go ahead and tell my boss and coworkers, but I know I need to go in with an explanation of what I plan to do in terms of maternity leave and I don't think they'll like it. I'm planning on asking for a yearlong leave of absence (which is a thing in my state and work... I think... I hope...) and I don't think anyone will be too thrilled with me.

  

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• stisnd6 member

  January 2016

  I may or may not go back. I like my job but it is not my career as I am still in school (just took a year off) I want 3 months off with the baby and I'm planning on finishing school after that. It all depends on what my childcare is. Not really sure which route I am taking yet. I might just say I'm going back so they don't fire me before leave.

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• chesterdoodle member

  January 2016

  Check your state maternity laws before telling them. I think with the federal FMLA, you need 12 months of service before you qualify for protected leave.
  
  Definitely go in there positive, with a plan for your absence. And mention that you plan to just take the protected leave time, nothing more. That's how I presented it to my work and they were appreciative.
  
  Good luck!!
  

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• lolonvive member

  January 2016

  @stisnd6
   Just wanted to offer a little perspective here, as my boss was very open with me when I told him. I am the first person at our company to get pregnant (I'm one of 2 women on a team of 10!) and he was so appreciative that I told him at 14 weeks, feeling that the more time we all have to plan the better for everyone, including me. I started In October when I was about 8 weeks pregnant, and now I'm 17 weeks now and showing slightly. I'm happy I wasn't showing before I told them so there was no speculation and gossip, everyone was just surprised and excited.
  I feel like I'm better at my job because I don't need to hide anything from my team, and there's no elephant in the room when they want to grab a beer after work. I can wear what I want and not worry. I also think that keeping it a secret was giving me anxiety -- I was waking up at night sweating and with heart racing. 
  Whatever you choose to do, good luck! I was majorly relieved afterwards. 

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