Dealing with lack of interest from husband and parents

Re: Dealing with lack of interest from husband and parents

• Bee112309 member

  January 2016

  I could see that being very frustrating, coming from your husband. You didn't get pregnant by yourself. In regard to your mom, I'm confused. How does your child affect how she could "be enjoying herself at this stage in her life"? It's not like she has to raise your child for you.
  

  
  
   

  Report4 Reply
• Loading the player...
• kyraaD member

  January 2016

  I'm sorry you're going through this that does sound like a tough situation. children are absolutely the most precious individuals, & dont let anyone make you feel any differently.
  
  i dont know about all men, but mine is almost acting the same as yours. dont get me wrong, he is very excited about our LO. but when it comes to looking at baby stuff, planning the nursery, looking up classes, etc. he's not very interested. it's been pretty much all up to me to do everything to prepare for our LO. i honestly think it's just a guy thing. i dont think your DH is purposely trying to make you feel alone in this. you should talk with him though & tell him how his apparent lack of interest is making you feel.
  
  as for your mother, I'm also confused by her comment. because you're having children she cant enjoy this stage in her life? or because she had children?

  Report0 Reply
• cMichelle0423 member

  January 2016

  shani12345 said:

  Hi all..
  the more time I spend talking to my husband and parents about my pregnancy, the more I realise how they see the whole thing as a burden. My husband has left the whole "project" to me, and mum is complaining that she could have had her own life and be enjoying herself at this stage in her life. Where are the days where children were seen as the most precious individuals. My grandparents loved their grandchildren (us) so much. They valued us tremendously and cherished every moment we had together. My grandmother absolutely loved children. I feel so alone in this whole experience.

  I feel like there's more to this story....
  

  Report11 Reply
• JLaVO888 member

  January 2016

  cMichelle0423 said:

  shani12345 said:

  Hi all..
  the more time I spend talking to my husband and parents about my pregnancy, the more I realise how they see the whole thing as a burden. My husband has left the whole "project" to me, and mum is complaining that she could have had her own life and be enjoying herself at this stage in her life. Where are the days where children were seen as the most precious individuals. My grandparents loved their grandchildren (us) so much. They valued us tremendously and cherished every moment we had together. My grandmother absolutely loved children. I feel so alone in this whole experience.

  I feel like there's more to this story....
  

  Diddo!

  Report4 Reply
• SarahFoley725 member

  January 2016

  I'm sorry you're dealing with this. If I were you I'd tell my mom that she's more than welcome to take a step out of your life if it's such an inconvenience for her to have a grandchild. As far as DH goes it tends to take the men a much longer time to get with the program. It didn't click for my husband until we found out the baby is a girl. It suddenly became more real to him.

  Report0 Reply
• imakeeff0rts member

  January 2016 edited January 2016

  Agreed that I think there's more to the story.
  
  In any case, this isn't your mom's child and she in no way is obligated to be involved in his/her life. If she wants to go "enjoy herself", I say not to let the door hit her on the way out.
  
  As for your husband, it may not be real to him yet. And it might not be until your child makes his or her arrival. Have you included him in a registry, baby shopping, or OB appointments? Toured the hospital together? Taken any classes together?

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  
  
  

  Report1 Reply
• lillebowski23 member

  January 2016

  I'm with @imakeeff0rts on the DH front: it might not be real for him. My DH has explicitly expressed this to me despite my very obvious First tri symptoms (I'm on the cusp at almost 14 weeks). It has been frustrating but I see how he is working his business (he has his own law practice) and I trust that this is his way of preparing for baby. More $ is important especially because I plan to leave work after the LO is born in July.
  So sorry you're feeling isolated and hopefully you can find some solace and support here.

  Report0 Reply
• PrimRoseMama member

  January 2016

  That sucks. That's all I've got at the moment. Well, that & questions...

  
  LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
  
  
  
  
  

  Report4 Reply
• shani12345 member

  January 2016

  Thanks for all your warm and thoughtful responses!! I have gone on pregnancy leave a little earlier than expected now on doctors orders (25 weeks today) so feeling a lot better not having to deal with work etc! Hubby and I are starting prenatal classes this week and this should get him a little more on board! the reason why mum is more involved is bc we are moving in with her temporarily to save up to hopefully be able to become home-owners.

  Report0 Reply