Just need to get it off my chest!

SmileyMcGee · December 2015

We've reached the month in which we first started TTC. It's now been two years and I'm feeling it today.
So sick of friends announcing pregnancies on social media and just happening to come across them on my news feed- no way of blocking those Facebook! There's been two in the last two days.
I can cope with being around babies and children- it's my job (I'm a nanny), however, I really struggle with the pregnancy announcements. I want to be happy for these friends (& I am deep down) but the jealous, bitter side comes out first- just wish I could tell it to jog on!
Sorry about the rant ladies......

ceclarlinetlo · December 2015

I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. Announcements can be hard anytime but especially near an anniversary such as this. I'm sending giant internet hugs your way. FX you'll get your BFP soon.

SmileyMcGee · December 2015

Thanks @ceclarlinetlo just feeling it this week! And you ladies will all be able to relate, unlike all the supporters I have! Big internet hugs back to you too!

starlitfae · December 2015

I get what you mean exactly! I won't lie, I have had to block people I love on social media for it. It's not an unusual thing to be going through. And don't be sorry about ranting! If there is ever a good place to do it (and it is vitally necessary!), it's here!

karmalin · December 2015

I def feel your pain! Its hard to be around women that are pregnant only to wish it was you too. A lot of my friends are also pregnant & it breaks my heart watching them rant about their pregnancy. I had to block them, it was killing me!

SmileyMcGee · December 2015

I knew I wouldn't be alone in feeling this! Thanks ladies!! Today is a new day & i'm feeling much better.

nberth · December 2015

I had to witness two announcements myself last week. It was certainly difficult for me to see ultrasound photos online but my husband and I talked about it and decided to be happy for our friends and since we don't know what struggles they have had, thankful that they have been blessed.

jbal918 · December 2015

I feel you! Four announcements in two weeks and a third yesterday, with a girl I went to high school with. She isn't in a serious relationship or have a boyfriend for that matter. Oh and number four is her sister who is pregnant. She ran away from her family a few months ago to marry a guy who is in jail yet again. They have been married for a few months and her family isn't happy about any of it.

LGW2015 · December 2015

@SmileyMcGee I definitely can relate! ughhh My husband's best friend and his wife are due in 2 weeks and I'm so happy for them but at the same time, seeing their nursery and all the baby things makes me so incredibly sad as well. We're also going to dinner with friends this weekend who announced a couple weeks ago they're having twins. We've been TTC for a year and are currently undergoing a bunch of testing (AF arrived today as well) so i've been an emotional wreck anyway.

It's definitely normal (although unfortunate) to be sad/angry/jealous, etc. Just something we have to work through. Let's try our best not to add guilt to our mix of emotions

yellingbanana · December 2015

Totally feel you... I've pretty much stopped going on Facebook for that exact reason, it was getting depressing. I took up romance novels instead! The online library is way more uplifting than Facebook, lol!

I own a daycare, that I am shutting down next week. It's been hard, and a parent is accidentally pregnant, ugh. I'm so done. Gonna take a short break and look for a teaching job. It's hard being around kids all the time when you've been TTC for what seems like forever.

kwetsell · December 2015

I think the hardest thing is seeing people who are young and foolish get pregnant so easily. I don't feel as bad when it is someone who I know has been ttc, but when a friend's younger sister who is dating a loser accidentally gets pregnant, it's heartbreaking.

In the past few weeks I found out that several people I work with are pregnant. People were making jokes about "something in the water" and all I could think was "let me have a drink of that water!"

SmileyMcGee · December 2015

So true ladies.
Being a nanny, you just cannot escape pregnant women, babies, children! It's both a blessing and a curse. I love it, yet at the same time it breaks my heart when people say "you'll be a great mum!" "So when is it your turn?" And some who moan about their children (don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll have my fair share of moany days when my time comes, but I'm not the person to moan to right now)!

Hogwartsmom · December 2015

It's so normal to feel that way. It feels like we're bad people for not being happy for them but in truth, why would we be happy at the reminder of a basic human drive that we can't seem to fulfill for ourselves? It really is infuriating to see other ppl get their bfp so easily.

LMart85 · December 2015

It sure is tough....I'm the last of my girlfriends without children...most of my girlfriends are working on baby #2 now...I'm truly happy for all of them and I love hanging out with all their kids....just sometimes all the baby talk is too much....I feel left out at times cause I have nothing to contribute to the conversation cause I'm not a mom....during the time my hubby and I started ttc my sister in law gets knocked up by basically a stranger....the comments from the family I have had to endure over the last year is ridiculous....like when are u guys gonna have a baby? Or at her shower I got asked about how this must be hard watching someone else have a baby? Wth???

LGW2015 · December 2015

@LMart85 ugh I'm so sorry! I feel like infertility is so hush hush and not talked about that many people don't know how to appropriately respond! So frustrating and these inappropriate responses often seems to result in more feelings of isolation on our end

KidShrink · December 2015

*bfp mentionned*

We went through 2 years TTC, 2 surgeries and too many pills, injections, and internal ultrasounds to count. We were quite open about our situation the entire time as there had been loads lf pressure on when we'd have a baby from the moment we got engaged (while I was still in grad school, which we had decided wasn't a good time for us). We were lucky to have some pretty supportive people around us, except for a few people. One of my best friend announced right before my hysteroscopy/laparoscopy in July that she was expecting her second, which came as a bit of an early surprise. But at the same time she offered to be a surrogate for us after this little one should nothing work out for her. Luckily, things finally worked out for us, and since I've been pregnant, I feel like she's been trying to get me on the 'complain about your pregnancy' train, and last week, I lost it on her. She posted something on Facebook that went something along the lines of 'where in my life did I go wrong that waking up at 6:15am is not considered sleeping in'. So I answered 'the day you decided to have a child, and consider yourself lucky, many people would love to have a little monkey waking them up at 6:15am'. So she went on on how many moms feel bad for not enjoying every moment of it. I agreed, but reminded her that one in every 6 couples suffers from infertility, and that without realizing it, she may be pushing the buttons of very many people without even knowing. I also mentionned that I had unfollowed a number of people who were chronic pregnancy/mommy complainers as it was just too hard to see (and knew of people who did the same). And she promptly took the post down.

I'm sure that if I hadn't been pregnant, I would have just been considered the acrimonious, jealous, child-hungry woman. Thankfully, I'm now in a different position, and I hope that's the case for all of you soon. You'll see that no matter what happens though, IF changes you- but I believe in a good way. I've spoken openly about our troubles (maybe even in a way that was TMI for many, but eh, they opened the door when they asked when we'd get pregnant, so too bad for them) and I feel like our friends and family are much less ignorant on the topic, and (most of the time), much more sensitive as a result. None of you should be ashamed or isolated by your situation- it's not your fault in any way. It's made me much more sensitive too, and has given me the knowledge and power to increase infertility awareness.

Sending you lots of strength in this holiday season- we all know how family gatherings suck when going through IF.

blueyedfloozy · December 2015

I work with a girl who is getting ready to start ttc. She's been going to Dr's and making sure all her stuff checks out before starting. Totally awesome, and very responsible. She's very open about it, w/e. But all she keeps saying is, "when I'm pregnant..." then whatever rant. It sucks bc she'll probably have no trouble, but it's like, she thinks it's a given. It's going to just happen. And I don't want to be a downer, and like I said, she'll likely get KU in the first 3 months. But I want to give her a reality check. It might not be that easy. And running your mouth about "when I'm pregnant" might come back to bite you in the ass in 2 years when you're still not pregnant. Ok rant over. I seriously wish her the best. No one should go thru what we're all going thru, but Damn, have some perspective. (And yes, she knows about my struggle, I'm very open about infertility)

Hogwartsmom · December 2015

It's so tough! My DH and I are at about 2 1/2 years so I understand! You would be so surprised at how many women, including myself, have felt that exact way. *hugs!*

Junibugger · December 2015

So sorry to hear how you are feeling. Is it just me or has here been a crazzzyyyy amount of baby announcements recently? I too have to block people on FB... It was really hard over the holidays with family all around too... I felt like it was the elephant in the room that no one wanted to talk about, including me, yet all I could do was think about it with my mother in law and sister in law and her babies all around. Le sigh. I wish it was more of an open conversation in our society and not a "shame" thing. But, like someone else said, all we can do is try to find joy for those friends because who knows what struggles they have had... Everyone's got something. Hang in there girlie.

Ashlyegan · December 2015

We have been ttc for 8 months and it hasnt happened yet. I am so sick of everyone asking when we are going to have kids. We're trying!! I know 8 months is not a long time but we waited awhile to try and now it's frustrating that it's not happening especially because my periods are irregular and I'm currently on day 42 of my cycle with no period and a negative pregnancy test. I just wish people would stop asking because it makes me feel bad. Sorry, Im done complaining.

SmileyMcGee · December 2015

@Ashlyegan I know that feeling, in comparison 8 months seems like nothing, but when you've been trying 8 months it feels like forever!

heincm · January 2016

I feel your pain, my co-worker just announced her second with a cute Christmas photo, and while I am happy for her, I am heartbroken because we are struggling to get pregnant. I think its natural, thus journey is hard, so if blocking makes you feel better do it. I find it easier to cope if I can keep things like that out of my face, so I too have un-followed new mommies, not because Im not happy for them but because its too hard for me. I hope 2016 brings us all BFP's:)

Want a personalized experience?

Just need to get it off my chest!

Re: Just need to get it off my chest!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards