Missing pregnancy and labour

aroch412 · January 2016

Anybody else already miss being pregnant? I'm one of the lucky few who loved being pregnant and had no issues for 9 months (besides mild spotting the first trimester). I adore having my little guy here, but miss having him all to myself. My husband thinks I may also just miss some of the attention that came with being pregnant, since now it's all about The baby.

Also, call me CRAZY, but I find myself missing my labour and delivery. Almost a touch sad it's over. Last week I couldn't wait for the pain of it to be over but now I'm sad it is! I had a long and painful delivery (30 hours from water break to him being born) but my doctor and nurses were amazing and kept me laughing through the whole stay (4 nights). I compare this most to when I got married. I remember being so sad after it was all done. I guess you build up one event for so long, that you can't help but be sad when it ends.

Anyone else in the same boat? Maybe it's just a touch of the baby blues!

Gingermom15 · January 2016

I miss the second trimester. I do not miss the third and I sure as heck don't miss the delivery process lol

thatgirlree24 · January 2016

Both my previous pregnancies were almost 41 weeks and longer labors. This time I had him a day before 39wks and labored for about 12hrs. It went by so fast and was a bit unexpected so I do feel you on the "miss being pregnant" part although having my baby here is better than being pregnant any day!

soccsm13 · January 2016

I had an easy pregnancy but once I got to 40 weeks I was totally DONE. She was 6 days late. I don't miss being pregnant now that I can sleep as soon as I hit the pillow. The end of pregnancy insomnia sucked the life out of me.

My labor was super short, 5 hours, and very intense. I was so shocked when she got here that I don't think it was fully sinking in that I was already holding her. I don't "miss" labor (no time for pain meds... Uhh crowning = ouch.) but it was so fast that I never had that excitement and anticipation that I remember from my first labor.

ammnam14 · January 2016

I miss my big belly and feeling her kicks. I don't miss the labor but it is a nice memory to look back on.

momotheflyinglemur · January 2016

I agree with @ammnam14, I will always remember everything with great fondness, but as I have been a one and done momma from the start I am not missing having my body 80% back to myself. The 20% is obviously the nourishment I am still providing. lols. I sat down and wrote a little letter to put in Odie's baby book detailing what it was like the day after, because a week out and I can barely piece together the details.

angelicac06 · January 2016

I 1,000% miss being pregnant. I do NOT miss the delivery however.

groovylocks · January 2016

Fondly miss pregnancy a little. Not labor. I still have nightmares about it. I will never do that again.

aroch412 · January 2016

I must be crazy to miss labour. it's not that I miss labour per say, but more that I miss the adrenaline and amazing nurses and Doctor. Guess this is mother natures way of making me want to do it again some day!

cedixon2 · January 2016

I don't miss being pregnant with my twins. I have so much less anxiety over their wellbeing now that they are here. I don't miss going to the dr every week to check them. I certainly don't miss their vaginal/emergency csection with the epidural that didn't numb me up enough... Holy mother of ouch!

Having said that, my 3 previous pregnancy and deliveries were great and I felt like I could go another round with becoming a mommy all over again.

I do miss the nurses as they were really nice and spoiled me terribly the first day post partum.

czirbs · January 2016

I wouldn't say that I miss labor and delivery, but I do sometimes miss the moment when he came out and they placed him on my chest. That was the instant that made it all worth it for me. (FTM here)

I would do it all over again for that.

laurabwalker · January 2016

I miss being pregnant a very small amount, but do not will not ever miss labour which has slightly traumatized me. I still feel like I can look in on it in my mind but not like I was actually there yet.

Alyssaerin996 · January 2016

Going to ask a question that might not fit here...but just throwing it out there if anyone feels like answering. For the moms above who say they were really traumatized by the labor process- do you feel like it was because you were ill-prepared or under-prepared? Meaning maybe all your friends had easy labors so you chose not to take classes or something? Or was it just something you could never have really prepared for, no matter what? I'm trying to approach my FTM labor ( if it ever bloody gets here) with a "birth without fear" attitude but I'm totally failing.

Gingermom15 · January 2016

@Alyssaerin996 honestly, there was no preparing at all for my delivery process. If you read what I wrote in this thread you might get an idea why. It's on the 3rd page I believe. It really doesn't matter how prepared someone is when things go wrong or not as planned, which tends to happen quite often in the birthing process. Just make sure you have an awesome support person who can advocate your wishes if you cannot yourself. Doulas are awesome for this as are partners, sisters, moms and MILS and SILs who have given birth themselves and if you have a close relationship with them.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12645539/what-my-contractions-felt-like-our-birth-stories-look-here-before-asking-about-contractions#latest

groovylocks · January 2016

Alyssaerin996 said:
Going to ask a question that might not fit here...but just throwing it out there if anyone feels like answering. For the moms above who say they were really traumatized by the labor process- do you feel like it was because you were ill-prepared or under-prepared? Meaning maybe all your friends had easy labors so you chose not to take classes or something? Or was it just something you could never have really prepared for, no matter what? I'm trying to approach my FTM labor ( if it ever bloody gets here) with a "birth without fear" attitude but I'm totally failing.

My induction caused a very aggressive l&d. This was my first child and everything happened in less than 6 hours. 4 were pushing. She got stuck for one of those 4 hours. I know the epidural worked because my legs were paralyzed. But the pain from pressure was intense. The foley bulb insertion was horrifying. I kicked the midwife in the face when I got my bladder catheter put in. Nothing about it was ok to me. I'm crying just writing about it. Never again. If I can't be guaranteed a c section for subsequent deliveries, I'd get my tubes tied. Maybe I'm just a wimp. It was way too personal an experience for me to deal with. I love my daughter very much and it was worth it in that I'd rather have her than not have delivered. But it was much worse than I expected. I expected to really feel almost nothing and I was not prepared for the bulb

Alyssaerin996 · January 2016

@sarahgn Wow, just re-read your story on the other thread. I am so sorry you went through that and so glad it turned out ok for baby. Very clear now what you mean by not being able to prepare for that! Thank you so much for sharing. It's is important for people (myself very much included) to understand that things can go sideways FAST during labor. I guess the best I can do is try to go into it without fear and then trust DH and my midwives (and my body!) with the rest.

I hope you are enjoying some much deserved healing rest and pampering post-partum.

Alyssaerin996 · January 2016

I'm so sorry @groovylocks (and also sorry I sort of asked you to relive it for my benefit

). It does not sound like you are a wimp at ALL. That all sounds painful and traumatizing. It reinforces some of my fears about induction as well (I'm 40+5). I'm afraid it will all go too fast and the "cascade of interventions" will get away from me. Again though- at least for me - it's good to hear these things so I can adjust my expectations. Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best with your daughter!

aroch412 · January 2016

I went in with the same mentality of "birth without fear" and my birth plan was to have no birth plan. I wanted to do what felt right in the moment and I put all my trust in the doctors and nurses. All I knew was I wanted drugs when the pain got bad.

I found this worked for me! I still had a long labour (30 hours from water breaking, and 2 hours of pushing with eventually ended with a vaccum, episiotomy and 2nd degree tear) but it was all such a positive experience. I think I miss labor solely because of how amazing my doctor was.

Like people said above, have a good labour support. My husband was amazing through it all and I never knew how close this experience would bring us!!

keiragann · January 2016

I had a partial induction and I can say that if you are clear and have conversations with your doctor or midwife it can be a good experience. I was very clear that I was ok with the cervadil but wanted to avoid pitocin if at all possible and told my midwife I would like my water broken to see what the baby and my body will do. Luckily I didn't need anything other than the cervadil but I was prepared to have a backup plan if needed.

groovylocks · January 2016

Alyssaerin996 said:
I'm so sorry @groovylocks (and also sorry I sort of asked you to relive it for my benefit ). It does not sound like you are a wimp at ALL. That all sounds painful and traumatizing. It reinforces some of my fears about induction as well (I'm 40+5). I'm afraid it will all go too fast and the "cascade of interventions" will get away from me. Again though- at least for me - it's good to hear these things so I can adjust my expectations. Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best with your daughter! </p>

If it makes you feel better, most women I talked to that had inductions were surprised I found it so hard. It went much more smoothly for them. I'm sorry to scare you. It seems my experience was unusual.

grkgdss00 · January 2016

Nope, cause still here - PREGNANT! Remember how bad you wanted to meet your little one???

enigmaanjel · January 2016

Yep i am there. My pg was nice. Easy outside of the scares we had. But labor and delivery? Mine was horrific. Don't miss it

so in essence...i am glad she is here

soccsm13 · January 2016

So I said that I didn't miss pregnancy at all but I have to say that when I got dressed to spend the day out of the house today I realized that I miss my bump being "cute". Not a fan of the postpartum non-baby bump and trying to dress it! I like that I don't feel self conscious at all when I'm pregnant.

Taylovesbrad · January 2016

Hell no! So thankful I have my guy. Pregnancy and delivery are.totally worth it but i.did not have an easy pregnancy and had.to have an induction that lasted 34 hours so NO don't miss it!

preggoandglowing · January 2016

I absolutely miss being pregnant and the whole labor & delivery process! It was such an amazing experience. My pregnancy was pretty easy overall and now I feel like I'm losing track of baby now that she's out. Like I was always aware of her when she was in my belly and now I feel like I'm detached from her. I labored for 16 hours (8 hours before I got epidural), pushed for an hour and still felt pain during delivery but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I actually wish the labor had been longer lol! The whole thing went by too fast. Now nursing pain, that I do not wish to repeat at all!

stephaniechen82 · January 2016

Nope. Pregnancy was very challenging, especially the first and last Trimester. Then labor (STM but had a VBAC) was the most horrific pain I've ever experienced. I'm not sure if every lady goes through this, but when I dilated from 3cm to 10cm in less than an hour, I thought I was going to rip in half. I was screaming. It happened so fast that the anesthesiologist was scrambling to help me. Thank God they finally placed the epidural and it started working. The contractions were so fast and intense that I couldn't push. But with the epidural, everything seemed possible after that.
But what's better: fully dilated in 1 hr with horrific pain, or in labor for days with an unknown amount of pain? Who can say.
I will never go through that again though ...unless I get the Epi at 3cm next time! But as said, you can never prepare yourself fully. So the risk of not receiving an epidural in time or not working is too great for me to consider another pregnancy. I'm happy with my two boys

aroch412 · January 2016

preggoandglowing said:
I absolutely miss being pregnant and the whole labor & delivery process! It was such an amazing experience. My pregnancy was pretty easy overall and now I feel like I'm losing track of baby now that she's out. Like I was always aware of her when she was in my belly and now I feel like I'm detached from her. I labored for 16 hours (8 hours before I got epidural), pushed for an hour and still felt pain during delivery but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I actually wish the labor had been longer lol! The whole thing went by too fast. Now nursing pain, that I do not wish to repeat at all!

We may be the only two who miss it all, haha. I found after pain to not be too bad. My doctor had me thinking I was going to suffer.

myliitlefairygarden · January 2016

Alyssaerin996 said:
Going to ask a question that might not fit here...but just throwing it out there if anyone feels like answering. For the moms above who say they were really traumatized by the labor process- do you feel like it was because you were ill-prepared or under-prepared? Meaning maybe all your friends had easy labors so you chose not to take classes or something? Or was it just something you could never have really prepared for, no matter what? I'm trying to approach my FTM labor ( if it ever bloody gets here) with a "birth without fear" attitude but I'm totally failing.

This is my fifth child and it was completely different from my other four. I had four unmedicated natural births and four amazing and easy pregnancies. This pregnancy I and horrible MS that lasted at least 6 straight months and then GD then I had choleostasis which resulted in an awful induction at 37 weeks. It took three days and I ended up getting an epidural on day 2. Nothing. Could have prepared me even four previous babies.
I also agree with the pp that the Foley bulb placment was awful not just uncomfortable like they said. I had two separate kind of bulbs the second I couldn't have imagined doing without an epidural.

myliitlefairygarden · January 2016

Just wanted to add I still miss being pregnant and the adrenaline rush of labor and delivery, esp since she is my last.

ZoeyRaeJames · January 2016

I don't miss it at all! Even though my pregnancy was pretty easy, until I got the stomach flu at 32 weeks along. I kept my small figure, and had just a round baby tummy! Which, in a way, was very frustrating and painful at times. Because my LO was so active, and LOVED the ribs! As fof my L&D, I labored for 3.5 hours at home (and on the way to the hospital), and pushing was only 45 minutes for me. I dialated from 0/1 to 10, in about 3.5 hours, actually. And I am a FTM. Which surprised the nurses and doctor even more! But I'm glad to have my LO here. Even though the first week was a drain on me and the hubby. We're getting the hang of it all now, on the end of the second week of it all.

laurabwalker · January 2016

@Alyssaerin996 well I help deliver babies for a living so I felt pretty prepared. I even took my husband to prenatal classes (ones that I usually teach) and had an amazing team of a doula and midwife, that turned into 3 nurses, an OB, her resident, a pediatrician and a NICU nurse. I think when you get the things happen that are considered "unlucky" such as your water breaks before labour, your baby is OP, you have extreme back labour, your pelvis is too small and the baby gets stuck, then forceps get stuck in you, then the epidural you have does not numb you, and you get to feel all that and then stitches, meconium at delivery, it's kind of unlucky you know? And then the cascade of interventions happened but I couldn't cope without the epidural. You can totally not have all those things and it's more manageable usually. But then there is this perfect baby, and you are like well my heart just grew 8000x and I can't stop crying

and I'm lucky my milk came in day two and my baby latches and nurses so great, thankfully!!

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